After some strange goings-on at the studio the id-iom natural history/paranormal unit moved in to see if they could fathom exactly what was causing things to move around and pictures on the wall to swap places. Whatever was going on seemed to be centred around two newly produced pieces – ‘Iron Jelloids‘ & ‘Girls Romances‘ which were in glass snap frames on the wall – so we concentrated our efforts there.
After setting up some various camera traps and arcane pieces of equipment to see if we could get some hard evidence of whatever was going on all we could do was sit back and wait for some results. Opinion was split on whether it was all due to a mischievous mongoose or perhaps a restless poltergeist. Countless hours of waiting later I’m proud to announce we have some proof of what pictures get up to when left alone.
As far as I can tell both pictures have some kind of resident entities that only come out at night. They pushed the paper down and out of the frame so they could peer over the top to see what was going on. They appear to be unaware of our camera but quite interested in each other. After watching for a while we concluded that they seemed entirely harmless so we decided to leave them in peace after that. I’m not sure exactly what they get up to but everyone deserves a little privacy. Case solved.
It has taken a little while and a lot of effort but we finally have exclusive video evidence of an alien abduction! This video was apparently shot in London late last year and whilst we still have the footage unfortunately the cow has never been seen again…
If you never hear from us again however you’ll know the men in black were sent after us but i’m not going to be frightened into non-disclosure about my UFO experience. The internet needs to know! Now whilst I’m not sure exactly what they use the cows for I can only hope they are spirited away to bovine nirvana or perhaps just get to drive round the universe gazing out the window and ruminating on the futility of existence. Only the cow knows for sure…
