The early bird catches the worm

If you’re one of those people who set your alarm for an hour earlier than you need to get up so you can relentlessly keep hitting your snooze button then this one’s not for you. This is for those go-getters among us who spring out of bed upon waking with joy in their black hearts every morning. I’d like to think they are really something like the bird in question in this particular piece who seems nice enough on first glance but is, in fact, a pernicious magpie with a rather malicious glint in his eye. The slightly loopy looking worm doesn’t seem to realise what’s about to happen to him…

In fact thinking about it maybe I’ll get this on eBay and see what happens…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: The early bird catches the worm
Materials: Watercolour, paint pen, spray paint and stencil
Size: A3

Related articles

• Boo Hoo (thisisidiom.wordpress.com)

Advertisement

Please No Dumping

Here we have Gerald. Although Gerald looks quite smart in his shirt, tie, trousers and spiffy white shoes he is, in fact, an absolute rapscallion. He’s not to be trusted further than you can throw him. If you give him the benefit of the doubt, just once, he’ll have your pants off you before you know it. And not in a good way either, just a straight up steal.

Here he is waiting in some less than salubrious area for one of his ‘associates’. I didn’t hang around long enough to find out who – but that was probably for the best. How do I happen to know Gerald I hear you ask? Well, knowing someone like this is a double edged sword but on more than one occasion he’s proved his worth. He knows a few useful people. Let’s just leave it at that…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: Please No Dumping
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic, pencil, spray paint and charcoal on found street sign
Please email if interested

Related articles

• Kiss me quick – before i implode! (thisisidiom.wordpress.com)

Let it drip from my soul

Some people say soul music drips with emotion but with this lady it is in fact her actual soul that’s slowly dripping away. She’s currently happy with that as well for she doesn’t really seem to care about normal life much any more, if at all. All that interests her now are things like dubious liaisons with pretty men, driving fast cars at breakneck speeds, getting her daily recommended intake of water through vodka and taking enough drugs to take down a fully grown elephant and its calf. And somehow she does all this with a wink and a smile.

To some she’s killing herself and to others she’s living her life to the full. Either way I hope she’ll grow out of it soon because i’m pretty sure it doesn’t have a happy ending…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: Let it drip from my soul
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic, pencil and charcoal
Size: A2
Please email if interested

Kiss me quick – before i implode!

‘Kiss me quick, squeeze me slow’ would be the kind of thing you’d expect to find on a novelty hat in some godforsaken seaside town but this lady’s need is a bit more immediate. If she’s not kissed soon she’s going to implode. Which won’t be pretty – although possibly a little less messy than her exploding. Depending on just how quickly she needs to be kissed and how picky she is I’m sure there’s a few less salubrious places I could suggest where she would definitely come up trumps. Disaster averted. Next!

Cheers

id-iom

Title:Kiss me quick – before i implode!
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic, pencil and charcoal
Size: A2
Please email if interested

I find you with love in my heart

The inspiration for this picture comes from a conversation I recently overheard in the pub. One of the participants in the conversation was waxing lyrical about beautiful women he had met during his life and how as soon as he met them he had love in his heart (although he didn’t put it quite so delicately). Somehow this got my attention and after percolating in my head for a while it was time to put paint to paper.  Thinking about it I’m not sure how the conversation ended but judging by his company in the pub I’m doubtful of whether he’s got one of these beautiful women to go home to…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: I find you with love in my heart
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic, pencil and charcoal
Size: A2
Please email if interested

Maps, DNA and spam

‘When two tribes go to war, a point is all that you can score’ sang Frankie goes to Hollywood in their 1984 hit ‘Two tribes’. And I think they’re onto something there. Anyone who has been in a long term relationship knows that sometimes war (in the form of a big brooding argument) comes to town. If you think you’re in the wrong it’s usually best to apologise and placate but when you think you’re right then it’s time to draw up the battle lines.

Once the battleground is been mapped out there’s nothing left to do but scrap it out until eventually an unholy compromise can be reached. This pair are currently in the stage where they are shouting the same accusations at each other but we can see this whole thing may, hopefully, just end up being a skirmish as their affection for each other is still clearly visible. Although the heart is black. Which could possibly be a bad thing. Only time will tell…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: Maps, DNA and spam

Materials: Stencil, spray paint, paint pen, charcoal and ink

Size: 85cm x 35cm

Please email if interested

Human Target

This is the same guy as yesterday and I was telling the truth when I said I threw him out but it just so happened that he forgot his phone and came back for it. As I said previously I was rather angry with the little idiot and really couldn’t believe he’d come straight back after the obscenities I screamed at him.

My blood was still boiling and his return sent me in to another frenzy although this time I was probably a little over-zealous in my reaction. I tagged his face with the word id-iom and, of course, a target. I was hoping the target would be a cue to everybody else to stay well clear. As I was manhandling him out of the studio the other half of id-iom stopped me and said I should once again imprint his face on a piece of paper to see what we’d get this time. So that’s exactly what i did and here it is. Right, that’s enough for today. Pass the Special Brew…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: Human Target
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic, pencil, pastel and charcoal
Size: A2
Please email if interested

Boo Hoo

There’s no need to worry about this little cry baby, as he’s actually a fully grown man who has a penchant for acting like a snivelling little child. All he ever seems to do is whine and moan about just everything and everyone he comes in contact with. He asked me to paint his portrait which was going to end up being a gift for his girlfriend but even before he sat down he was in tears about some rubbish like the chair being too cold.

This went on for hours with him constantly moving and complaining, so i just started to doodle. He then really got on my nerves by asking how it was going with the picture and that’s when i lost it. I jumped up at him, paintbrush in hand, and just started slapping paint all over his face. Before i knew it I was pressing his face down on the paper and screaming obscenities at him. After I’d calmed down and let him go, he lifted his head to reveal this picture which we both liked. I liked it so much I decided not to give him the picture but instead drew a crappy left handed portrait akin to a 5 year old’s effort and threw him out of the studio. I’m sure there must be a lesson in there somewhere but I’ve got no clue as to what it may be…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: Boo Hoo
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic, pencil, pastel and charcoal
Size: A2
Please email if interested

Next stop Pontypridd

Next stop Pontypridd

There I was riding the trains like I am wont to do sometimes when I spotted this young chap. He’d apparently missed his stop and was looking quite aflutter.  In his bewildered state he told me he was from somewhere in the Welsh valleys called Rhondda but i wasn’t so sure as it just didn’t ring true – but then again what do I know? Anyway I did the best I could for this poor soul and got him to alight at Pontypridd. Which I’m not sure if is any help to him but his perturbed face was beginning to make me feel quite uneasy. I can only hope he makes it home – but not in my carriage…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: Next stop Pontypridd
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic, spraypaint, collage and charcoal
Size: A2
Please email if interested

Mr. Mark Foresta of Massachusetts

Mr. Mark Foresta of Massachusetts

I recently bought myself a Mr Potato Head from a charity shop (as I had already bought the books I wanted and had a few extra quid in my pocket) and after getting it home proceeded to stare at it whilst it sat on my mantelpiece. After a long time of staring eye to eye with it I started to wonder what a real life Mr Potato Head would look like and so thought I should give it a shot. As the one I’d bought was missing a few bits like the hat and moustache my picture of him represents that as well.

After i’d finished the picture I decided to have a little look on to the internet to read up on the actual toy and found out that it was actually based on someone called Mark Foresta who apparently came from from Massachusetts. Sadly a brief search didn’t reveal a picture of him but then again I didn’t try that hard as I like to believe he looks just like the man in this picture. Perhaps the point of the story is that I should stop buying toys from charity shops when I have no children of my own and get on with my work or things like this happen…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: Mr. Mark Foresta of Massachusetts
Materials: Paint pen, spraypaint, collage and charcoal
Size: A2
Please email if interested