I was navigating the aisles of my local supermarket when, due to my girlfriend’s inability to make a quick decision, my eye was drawn to the flowery descriptions of some of their lower end wines. Phrases like ‘warming spice flavours’, ‘smooth finish’ and ‘floral notes’ seemed to litter the florid accounts of the wines’ supposed qualities. Now, it just so happens that wine is firmly on my banned substance list so I certainly wasn’t in the position to put these contrived claims to the test.
Instead I decided to get down with a bit of culture jamming and recreate the descriptions using my overactive imagination as a guide. I think what we’re left with is probably a more honest appraisal of the wine’s true character. I’d like to think these will go unnoticed by the staff until some eagle eyed customer decides to spoil my fun and brings it to their attention. Only time will tell…