Sometimes when you take an experimental beard serum weird things are going to happen. Gary here used to have a scraggly teenager’s bumfluff beard at the ripe old age of 32 and he wasn’t a happy chap. He had long yearned for a thick luscious hipster’s beard like his best friend Fitz and intended, somehow, to get one. He’d tried all sorts of so called remedies – from rubbing his face with peanut butter to shaving every 20 minutes in an attempt to force growth, all to no avail. His prayers would be answered soon enough however.
In desperation, after a late night’s internetting, he clicked on a link to a somewhat shady company that sold research chemicals and promptly parted with a week’s wages for a course of the unproven and experimental Hexabeard 5000. With the instructions being in Chinese he did the best he could when his package arrived and did all the pills over the course of a week. The following Monday new growth could definitely be seen and within a few days he had a full beard. He was over the moon. Then the coloured hexagons started appearing, web-like growth would materialise overnight and his eyes started to change.
At first he was scared but it quickly made him the coolest hipster in town. Unfortunately this was only for about 2 weeks until a 7 year old with a 2ft long bushy beard came along and blew all the competition away. The moral of the story? Well, like life you’ll just have to work it out for yourself…