Skin & Bones tiny laser cut

Eagle eyed readers might recognise this little laser cut image as a tiny version of the image we did at UPfest last year. I was just seeing how small the laser cutter will reasonably do and how difficult that would be to paint. It turns out it is particularly tricky to paint at that scale.

Anyway, the image is related to a zombie book I’ve written called Skin & Bones that features some zombie pigs and in the spirit of attempting some feeble marketing for it I’m giving it a shameless plug here. If you’re at all interested in the book here’s a little taster of what to expect. Drop me a line if you’d like to give it a read:

This morning you woke up feeling a little unwell. You have no appetite, your head is aching, your throat is sore and you think you might have a slight fever. You don’t know it yet, but the zombie virus has already been working away inside you for a week or so and has been busy attacking your immune system. It’s reached the stage where it’s really about make it’s presence known.

Exactly when and where you were infected is unclear as it can take anything between 21 and 30 days from initial infection to the first proper symptoms. What is more certain is that you are now infectious yourself and have been for a while. Your family, friends and anyone else in close contact with you are all in mortal danger.

The next couple of days will determine if you are one of the lucky few who has some natural resistance and will, at least, survive the infection stage or not. In the highly probable event that you have no resistance then, at some time between 3 and 4 weeks after infection, you can expect the whites of your eyes to turn red, your vomit and diarrhoea will now be charged with infected blood and large blood blisters develop under your skin. You are now at the peak of infectiousness as the virus particles, eager to find their next victim, replicate swiftly inside your body.

What comes next is straight out of a movie. Your brain heats up and you become more aggressive as your mental faculties begin to deteriorate. At some point you’ll become unconscious and then the next time you open your eyes you will no longer be in control of yourself. You are now constantly hungry for human flesh and have the overriding urge to bite someone. Satisfying your cravings is now all your limited intellect can cope with. Congratulations, you are now a zombie.

Calling you a zombie would probably suffice in a pinch but isn’t quite correct however and the term ‘living dead’ would probably seem a better fit. But you won’t care. The virus has made permanent changes. From the second you were infected the grave is your only and eventual way out. At least by that point you’ll have no knowledge of what you’re doing. Just following some of the baser human instincts that have been modified and enhanced. Your end is nigh. Along with just about everybody else’s…

Cheers

id-iom

 

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Keef

So, it turns out that if you give a man (well, me specifically) access to a laser cutter this is the kind of magical little trinket you can expect him to produce with his first run of successful cutting. I’m a little smitten with this device at the moment. It may become obvious. If I’d ever paid attention as to how to use vector based graphics programmes it probably wouldn’t have been quite so much of an achievement – but I haven’t so it was. I’ve had this sketch of the eponymous Keef pulling some complicated hand signs on my computer for quite a while now so it was nice to finally get to use it for something. I just hope he thinks the same when he gets his new keyring…

Cheers

id-iom

 

The Masked Victim

The Masked Victim

I was walking down the street just the other day when I notice someone in a balaclava approaching. I’d have to admit that I was a little wary as it’s not every day you see someone all masked up bearing down on you. Before I could work up much more concern a man dressed smartly in suit and tie came around the corner carrying a large plank and proceeded to beat the masked victim to the floor. He didn’t seem to be in much pain as he was laughing the whole time it was happening. It seemed that it finished just as swiftly as it had all started and the suited man lurched around the corner with the plank under his arm – never to be seen again. The masked victim on the other hand lay of the floor laughing to himself and muttering under his breath ‘I told him to take the right lane’ which, in itself, was quite scary. I don’t remember much else as it was all a bit of a blur but I managed to shakily sketch out this on the bus home. As he was masked its not much use as a photofit though…

Cheers

id-iom

Cat fud

Cat Fud

Just the other day a friend put up one of Gary Larson’s excellent one frame cartoons – the one where the dog is trying to tempt the cat into the washing machine with a note saying ‘cat fud’ and an arrow pointing into the machine – and I realised that I hadn’t put this piece up yet. If you’re not familiar with Gary Larson’s work I’d strongly advise you go and check out all his ‘ Far Side’ stuff as it’s straight up brilliant.

Anyway, enough of Larson,  here’s a picture of a pretty odd looking cat and he’s listed all the food he likes to eat. Why? I’m not so sure. Being a cat he’s probably not entirely sure either. But sometimes life is a bit like that.

Cheers

id-iom

Pastel Splat

Pastel Splat

Can you name a female clown? You have 5 seconds. I didn’t think so. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to the you Splat the Clown . Here we have Splat’s serene clown face in profile. In yet another male dominated profession she has risen to the top by the sheer force of her tomfoolery and pratfalls. Her aim with a custard pie is nothing short of exceptional but, like everyone, she occasionally needs a little down time to recharge and here she is in a rare moment of repose before her trademark toothy grin comes back into play.

Does this make any sense? Have I been drinking again? Who knows. Tune in tomorrow for more of the same…

Cheers

id-iom

Other people’s graffiti – Brixton

In our occasional but continuing series of other people’s graffiti here’s a lovely shot of a ghost sign on the side of a building in Brixton advertising some long gone menswear brands (including classic British sportswear brand Bukta). It’s difficult to explain exactly what it is about ghost signs that I love the most – the fact that they’re even still there, the fact that they’re like kind of weird snapshot of the past or the fact that they’re blatant graffiti that most people don’t even notice exist. Probably all of the above plus I love the fact they’re usually a little grimy too. Perfection.

Cheers

id-iom

The Incumbent

The Incumbent

I did this one a while ago but since America is about to get a new president I thought it might be about time to get it on. I have to admit that originally it had nothing to do with Americas incumbent president but the similarities are striking between him and our reprobate of an associate Sir Asmund Quayle’s quest to become the new head of FIFA.

At the time Sir Asmund had just won the election to become FIFA’s new head. It would seem his well-deserved reputation of being a shameless rapscallion and self promoter had finally worked in his favour. Thankfully he does not see his spectrum-wide ineptitude in understanding the complexities of his position and his lack of willingness to dish out the appropriate backhanders as reasons why he can’t fulfil his new role. In fact he sees them as reasons he will do his job better than his predecessor. And who’s to say he’s not wrong. Only time will tell.

As an aside, it’s not me directly calling Sir Asmund a peasant but just a quote I found on the internet by Woodrow Wilson that I feel sums up this bizarre situation perfectly.

Cheers

id-iom

Check the grid on that!

Check the grid on that!

On the list of things I never thought I’d get for Christmas a box full of real human teeth was pretty high up there. So imagine my surprise (and joy – we’re artists and like weird stuff) when that’s exactly what we were presented with when back home for Christmas. It just so happens that a couple we know who like to visit the auction rooms came upon the box whilst at an auction and immediately thought of us. How very kind.

Although we were on holiday art never sleeps so we donned our thinking caps whilst watching the first Despicable Me film and, thankfully, that was all the spark we needed to get an idea on the go. I’m usually my own worst enemy when it come to getting something finished but this time I had nieces & nephews, soiree’s & parties, walks & talks and family & friends to contend with so it was a little slow to get to completion. Nevertheless, being the plucky urban artists that we are, we managed to get it finished with minutes to spare before being ferried off to the airport for my return flight.  I give you ‘Check the grid on that’ which could handily be subtitled ‘the boy who never brushed his teeth’. So, happy new year and don’t forget to brush!!

Cheers

id-iom