The reflection of oneself

How do you feel when you look at yourself in a mirror?

Jennifer here had been doing a triple shift at a local 24hr convenience store to try and get some extra cash in for Christmas when an incredibly handsome man walked in with the biggest pair of mirrored shades she had ever seen. The only thing she could do was to stare into the abyss that was her own reflection.

Jennifer suddenly realised that she hadn’t slept properly for at least 72 hours and, my god, did it show on her face! The customer with the mirror shades had seen this reaction many times before and tried to help her out of this downward spiral.

Quickly, before she could crumple to the floor and start crying, he started singing a melody so sweet and angelic that everyone in the shop stopped what they were doing and just listened.

As soon as the song had finished everyone in the shop came out of their reverie and realised that the man had already left. It was only then that Jennifer saw that he had left the exact change for his bottle of Lambrini. Here ends the lesson.

Cheers

id-iom

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The ASBO King

Today on eBay is ‘The ASBO King’. Click the link below to check it on eBay:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/392175641406

This kid has had 13 ASBO’s slapped on him this month – and it’s only the 18th of November! He just doesn’t care and it seems he’s collecting ASBO’s like they are going out of fashion. So far he’s had them for the following (amongst others as yet unspecified):

littering and dumping rubbish outside his local dry cleaners (apparently related to his misuse of the fabric softener)

A constant misuse of fireworks (including using them late at night)

Shouting and noisy behaviour in places where this might be annoying or upsetting (e.g. outside someone’s house). This I have a personal experience of.

Using rude, abusive or insulting language to pretty much anyone especially the old or infirm.

Threatening behaviour or bullying – including on the internet, mobile phones or other electronic media (whatever you do don’t let him borrow your phone or laptop).

Uncontrolled and dangerous animals – he has 3 feral rabid rabbits that he takes with him everywhere

Joyriding or using vehicles in an anti social manner (for example blocking access, noisy radios, wheel spinning); abandoning a vehicle – he especially likes pulling donuts at traffic lights.

Excessively drinking alcohol, alcohol related trouble or buying and selling drugs in the street – yes to all above.

Begging – he has such a sweet face (not).

As you can see he’s already got a tattoo of this achievement definitely making him the ASBO king and probably not an ideal next door neighbour.

Cheers

id-iom

Title: The ASBO King
Media: Acrylic, pastel and paint pen
Size: A4