According to a December 2016 Telegraph article London is the cocaine capital of Europe – but only during the week. Apparently we come second to Antwerp when you add in weekend usage. It seems we like to lay off a bit on the week as we’ve been hitting it a bit hard during the week. Go figure.
Anyway that allows me to segue nicely into today’s piece featuring a young lady doing her bit to get us back to top place. It’s laser cut on wood then hand painted and features Revlon’s snappy marketing line that fits so nicely and a little snippet from Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five’s ‘White Lines’. Once you’ve added a bit of crystal resin with some diamond dust glitter in then you’re good to go with another certified id-iom piece.
She’d look great once framed. Drop us a line if you’re interested.
Give way to oncoming Motherfuckers
Once every blue moon we here at id-iom like to go for a few cheeky drinks with none other than Sir Asmund Quayle, reprobate extraordinaire and disillusioned messiah of everything. To say a little fun is had is quite the understatement, in fact it takes the months in between theses drinking bouts just to mentally prepare for the next and to fully allow your fun levels to rise to a healthy amount. I’ve seen people who just didn’t have enough in the tank turn in to empty husks as Sir Asmund drains them of all they have.
This piece is based on a slight altercation we had with some disillusioned youths who thought that our merriment was an invitation to start some trouble. Needless to say by the end of our disagreement this gang of fools was soon singing to our tune with one meaning ful phrase rolling about in their undeveloped minds – ‘Give way to oncoming Motherfuckers’
It was made using the magic paint pen and acrylic on found street sign which is 56cm x 96cm. Drop us a line if interested.
It’s funny how many advertising slogans can be applied to the murky world of drugs. For today’s instalment in a series we’re imaginatively calling ‘badvertising’ we’ve gone for Coke Zero and the classic ‘Taste the feeling’ tagline. We could have just have easily used ‘real Coke taste and zero calories’ but preferred the classic tagline as it’s a little more descriptive.
Anyway, today’s piece is on my current canvas of choice, namely wood, and using my current favoured technique of laser engraving. Plus, just a little bit of white paint pen just to accentuate the obvious. Drop us a line if you’re interested…
Tesco Value Profit Inflator – in store now!
Tesco Value Profit Inflator – bag label
Tesco Value Profit Inflator instructions
As if Tesco didn’t earn enough money to start with. I’d like to think that I’m not alone when I don’t even comprehend what exactly you have to do to misidentify profits to the tune of a quarter of a billion pounds but I think it’s some kind of masterclass that id-iom needs to be taking a part of. Anyway, we racked our brains to see if we could possibly imagine what kind of fantastic device you would use to achieve such extravagant imaginary profits and here is the kind of apparatus I envisaged they were using at Tesco HQ to pump those profits up like a balloon. Like it says on the packaging:
“Please remember that overinflated profits can lead to the auditors being called in. People may get sacked and your business may be at risk”
You have been warned. Please use responsibly.
Tesco’s full fat Bantha milk
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when id-iom have a little time on their hands then look no further. We’re very pleased to announce our latest video collaboration. We’ve partnered with infamous intergalactic chef and sometime bounty hunter Bhuna Fett to produce this ‘Cooking with Bhuna Fett’ infomercial on behalf of Tesco’s and their new range of Bantha Milk.
We had to do an incredible amount of wrangling to get Bhuna Fett to agree to feature in our video. The amount of brown envelopes stuffed with galactic standard credits was incredible but then again what do you expect from a part time bounty hunter. After we’d paid Bhuna off we only had a 30 mins window in order to get all the footage we needed as he had some other urgent business to take care of.
So here it is. What you didn’t know you’d been waiting for…
There I was having a flick through today’s print copy of Time Out and what do I find at the bottom of one of the first pages you come across? This little beauty. A nice little feature on some of the pop culture based subversions that we’ve been depositing in our local shops. Surely that means fame and fortune will be knocking on our door some time soon. Oh wait, who’s that ringing my bell….
No, it was just the neighbour demanding I turn the music down. I could barely hear him shouting over the smooth sounds of Nana Mouskouri. He really needs to calm down a bit.
Tesco’s Finest ‘spice’ Melange – in store now!
Tesco’s Finest ‘spice’ Melange label
If you’ve ever seen David Lynch’s 1984 film Dune (based on Frank Herbert’s 1965 novel of the same name) then you probably already know what Melange ‘spice’ is. In the film it’s a drug that has some particularly useful effects and one big downside. It gives the user a longer life span, greater vitaility, heightened awareness and psychic powers. Which is handy as it makes safe and accurate interstellar travel possible. The downside however is that it is addictive and withdrawal is fatal. All this has conspired to make it the most valuable commodity in the universe.
Never one to miss a trick Tesco’s have made a couple of intergalactic deals and got their hands on some of the good stuff. It’s harvested by hand on the desert planet Arrakis from the excretions of the highly dangerous giant sandworm. Tesco’s then ship it to earth and package it up in their Finest range for just under £100 for 4g. A bargain to be sure. Get it while it lasts…