It’s funny how many advertising slogans can be applied to the murky world of drugs. For today’s instalment in a series we’re imaginatively calling ‘badvertising’ we’ve gone for Coke Zero and the classic ‘Taste the feeling’ tagline. We could have just have easily used ‘real Coke taste and zero calories’ but preferred the classic tagline as it’s a little more descriptive.
Anyway, today’s piece is on my current canvas of choice, namely wood, and using my current favoured technique of laser engraving. Plus, just a little bit of white paint pen just to accentuate the obvious. Drop us a line if you’re interested…
In my continuing efforts to drum up some interest in the zombie book I’ve written I’ve done another small artwork based on it. Here we can see that they’ve finally got a gun. Now, I’m not entirely sure of the real world use of a gun in most zombie situations as it surely just attracts more of them to your location – which is the last thing you want – but it’s definitely a good backup. In this instance they are taking some revenge and trying to find their friend. Don’t worry too much as they are mostly doing it from the confines of an armoured Range Rover. Here’s a little taster:
“Eventually the car finds it’s way to the cricket pitch and they drive a slow circuit around the outside of the ground. I want to jump up and signal their attention but something tells me to be wary. They pull up beside the bonfire just as one of the school kid zombies from earlier emerges onto the south edge of the field. The driver guns the engine and the Range Rover pulls forward on a collision course with the zombie. I can hear the sickening crunch of bone even from my position some distance away.”
You have now entered the Twilight Zone. A place where nothing is quite what it seems…
Much like in Stranger Things with its ‘Upside down’ universe in this alternate dimension things are a bit weird. id-iom have been suckling on the commercial teat for years and have been just commissioned by Tesco’s to produce some new artwork for an advertising campaign and this whacked out psychedelic little number is now going national. You’ll see it everywhere soon enough.
In all fairness I had no real idea what I was doing when I started this and I’m still not sure now it’s finished but we are in a parallel world now remember and the Muse always works in mysterious ways. The googly eyes make me smile though.
Sooooo, I’ve written a zombie book called Skin & Bones that also features some zombie pigs. I’ve yet to do anything with it other than give it to a few friends to read so thought I’d remedy that somewhat by making it the focus of this year’s UPfest wall at our alloted location – the Steam Crane pub. There’s a copy of the book wheatpasted up for part of the background and we even included a little hoopla action for that interactive element. Not a single point was scored with the 20 odd people we played with however. I didn’t think it was going to be that tough to score a measly 10 points…
Anyway, just in case you’re at all interested in the book here’s a little taster of the kind of thing to expect if it ever gets published:
This morning you woke up feeling a little unwell. You have no appetite, your head is aching, your throat is sore and you think you might have a slight fever. You don’t know it yet, but the zombie virus has already been working away inside you for a week or so and has been busy attacking your immune system. It’s reached the stage where it’s really about make it’s presence known.
Exactly when and where you were infected is unclear as it can take anything between 21 and 30 days from initial infection to the first proper symptoms. What is more certain is that you are now infectious yourself and have been for a while. Your family, friends and anyone else in close contact with you are all in mortal danger.
The next couple of days will determine if you are one of the lucky few who has some natural resistance and will, at least, survive the infection stage or not. In the highly probable event that you have no resistance then, at some time between 3 and 4 weeks after infection, you can expect the whites of your eyes to turn red, your vomit and diarrhoea will now be charged with infected blood and large blood blisters develop under your skin. You are now at the peak of infectiousness as the virus particles, eager to find their next victim, replicate swiftly inside your body.
What comes next is straight out of a movie. Your brain heats up and you become more aggressive as your mental faculties begin to deteriorate. At some point you’ll become unconscious and then the next time you open your eyes you will no longer be in control of yourself. You are now constantly hungry for human flesh and have the overriding urge to bite someone. Satisfying your cravings is now all your limited intellect can cope with. Congratulations, you are now a zombie.
Calling you a zombie would probably suffice in a pinch but isn’t quite correct however and the term ‘living dead’ would probably seem a better fit. But you won’t care. The virus has made permanent changes. From the second you were infected the grave is your only and eventual way out. At least by that point you’ll have no knowledge of what you’re doing. Just following some of the baser human instincts that have been modified and enhanced. Your end is nigh. Along with just about everybody else’s…
Tesco Value Profit Inflator – in store now!
Tesco Value Profit Inflator – bag label
Tesco Value Profit Inflator instructions
As if Tesco didn’t earn enough money to start with. I’d like to think that I’m not alone when I don’t even comprehend what exactly you have to do to misidentify profits to the tune of a quarter of a billion pounds but I think it’s some kind of masterclass that id-iom needs to be taking a part of. Anyway, we racked our brains to see if we could possibly imagine what kind of fantastic device you would use to achieve such extravagant imaginary profits and here is the kind of apparatus I envisaged they were using at Tesco HQ to pump those profits up like a balloon. Like it says on the packaging:
“Please remember that overinflated profits can lead to the auditors being called in. People may get sacked and your business may be at risk”
You have been warned. Please use responsibly.
Tesco’s full fat Bantha milk
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when id-iom have a little time on their hands then look no further. We’re very pleased to announce our latest video collaboration. We’ve partnered with infamous intergalactic chef and sometime bounty hunter Bhuna Fett to produce this ‘Cooking with Bhuna Fett’ infomercial on behalf of Tesco’s and their new range of Bantha Milk.
We had to do an incredible amount of wrangling to get Bhuna Fett to agree to feature in our video. The amount of brown envelopes stuffed with galactic standard credits was incredible but then again what do you expect from a part time bounty hunter. After we’d paid Bhuna off we only had a 30 mins window in order to get all the footage we needed as he had some other urgent business to take care of.
So here it is. What you didn’t know you’d been waiting for…
There I was having a flick through today’s print copy of Time Out and what do I find at the bottom of one of the first pages you come across? This little beauty. A nice little feature on some of the pop culture based subversions that we’ve been depositing in our local shops. Surely that means fame and fortune will be knocking on our door some time soon. Oh wait, who’s that ringing my bell….
No, it was just the neighbour demanding I turn the music down. I could barely hear him shouting over the smooth sounds of Nana Mouskouri. He really needs to calm down a bit.