I got you didn’t I? Punch yourself in the arm and we’ll call it quits. Do people even play the circle game anymore? Given the stupidity of the game I think we can safely assume that it’s only the male part of the population who have ever played. If you know then it needs no explaining and if you don’t then that’s what the internet is for. That’s it for today…
It’s typical isn’t it? I try and do something genuinely nice and the world conspires to deny my effort. There I was walking down the street when I happened upon what must be in the ranking for worst sign in the world. There is so much wrong with it that I don’t know where to start – damaged, dirty and illegible to begin with.
I felt a sign like that was doing any business more harm than good so decided to engage in a little guerilla marketing and upgrade their signage for them.
I’d designed their uncommissioned new signage and got as far as looking for a local printer when I realised they’d removed their on street display. Maybe they’re just psychic and don’t want anything to do with my garish redesign. Or perhaps they’d realised the sign’s nefarious potential as it was. Who knows? That’ll teach me anyway.
It used to be easier to avoid people when we dealt solely with physical reality. If you clocked them before they saw you again then avoidance was a doddle. I think I miss those days. With today’s hyper-connected world however it’s becoming increasingly difficult to perform this critical function unless you choose not to engage with social media at all so today’s piece is a paean to those simpler times.
A couple of versions of ‘Oh no. Not you again!’ are still available via Play Dead gallery until 16th Feb. They’re A2 and are £130 each if anyone wants to give them a new home.
The year is 1974 and Herbert Bates is coming up the driveway to the house he shares with his mother with this somewhat salacious looking young lady. He met her just this evening. He’d like her to stay. Herbert is 44 years of age. He’s concerned about how he’s going to break the news to mother. She never does take surprises very well…
A couple of versions of ‘Break the News to Mother’ are still available via Play Dead gallery until 16th Feb. They’re A2 and are £130 each if anyone wants to give them a new home.
I’m not sure if i’ve ever suffered an existential crisis on the level that this man is currently having to deal with. Sure, I’ve had some strange notions from time to time but this guy’s desperation at his inability to tell his lovely lady that they aren’t really lovers and are, in fact, just stencils is somewhat heartbreaking. Life can be tough, can’t it?
It’s a very different experience painting outside in winter compared to summer. It’s freezing cold, wet and windy and you have to finish by 4pm as it’s pitch black.
No sooner had we got our stencil up and begun applying the very expensive UV reactive white paint to the boards that the rain sweeps in and washes it all straight off. What fun.
Our idea was to paint the boards up so they’d look good in normal light but would really kick when you put UV light on them. Despite the inclement conditions we eventually prevailed. Albeit a day later than planned…
I know the title sounds like a 70’s prog rock band or some dodgy porno but it’s not. It came to me in a dream where the Ladyfinger Cloud Pump is actually the newest and most revolutionary invention created by renowned British designer James Dyson. We’d been the best of friends for years and he was excited about his invention but didn’t reveal to me exactly what the device actually does.
After the name leaked media speculation as to the nature of the device was rife. I was given the task of coming up with some misleading marketing material to further muddy the waters and upon waking decided to fulfil my dream commission anyway. According to my dream the device will be available later this year so watch this space…
I’m in two minds over this pic. I can’t decide whether she looks like she’s been on the disco biscuits all night and is gurning like a donkey sucking a rolo or whether she has been having a little too much fun with some kind of intimate solo pursuit. Either way ecstasy figures in her immediate future in one way or another. Probably best just to leave her to it.
For no better reason than we can this was reimagined from actual news headlines. I fill my head with this grubby nonsense so you don’t have to. Vive la revolution!
Title: Ecstasy and me
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic and charcoal