Category Archives: sketch

Somnambulism

What would you do if you woke every morning in the woods near your house rather than your bed? I think I’d probably be a little concerned.

Carol here was so worried about this turn of events that she set up some cameras around her house to see exactly what was transpiring at night. To absolutely no ones surprise it turned out Carol is a sleepwalker or somnambulist. I think more concerning is that Carol still sleeps naked. She should probably do something about that…

Cheers

id-iom

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In-Vest

So there I was in the pub the other day professionally ignoring the football when this guy came up to me and started pontificating about how secure an investment of Bitcoin surely was. He told me he could increase my investment 100 fold. It surely seemed a little too good to be true but I entertained him because there was still 40 mins left on the game of ballfoot to endure. Come full time he was still banging on about a new crypto wallet or some such rubbish. It took all conversational skills I’ve garnered over the years just to get a word in edgeways and in that conversational sweet spot I somehow managed to get him to accept a small portrait of himself by way of my investment. I’m not really sure how i’m going to get my investment back but I did manage to get rid of him. For now at least. The Bitcoin investors are easily startled but they’ll soon be back. And in greater numbers.

Cheers

id-iom

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Let It Ride

This man will only lay down a wager when his cat ‘Lady Luck’ tells him the conditions are good for him to do so and for the most part they’ve both come up trumps. In fact all the cat has to do is whisper ‘let it ride’ into his ear (whilst disguising such commands as an otherwise normal sounding feline ‘meow’ to any nearby human) and slim Jim here will drop everything he’s got on whatever bet is in front of him. If that’s not a strange system then I don’t know what is.

She’s on A4 and made using Pencil, paint pen, watercolour and acrylic.

Cheers

id-iom

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Ro Don’t!

Let’s take a trip down memory lane. The year is 1948 and most of the UK is looking for a good long sit down for a year or two. Twelve year old Tom Carruthers however has other ideas. After witnessing the ravages of war first hand he wants to create a noble protector so it won’t happen again. After some basic genetic tampering with a (what would now be highly illegal) chemistry set and some stuff he found in his dad’s shed he managed to embiggen his pet rat, Twinkles, by a factor of 2. Fearing he’d get in trouble from his dad for having a giant rat he did what he thought was the decent thing and let his now super-intelligent rat free into the London sewers. If we skip forward 50 years then Twinkles is still very much alive but now he’s still super-intelligent, has grown to over 200 foot in size and goes by the name Ro Don’t. If you have a problem… if no one else can help… and if you can find him… maybe you can hire… Ro Don’t.

If that isn’t the best B film you’d watch this year then I’ll eat my cheese shoes. It is A4 in size and made using Watercolour, acrylic and tipex. Drop us a line if interested.

 

Cheers

id-iom

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Something squiffy

Most of us have been some degree of drunk at one time or another. This gentleman, however, seems to have taken things to extremes. Just to make things clear I only met him the once. Thankfully.

When I clapped eyes on him outside the pub the other night he was moving like he was in a slow-motion video whilst everyone else around him was moving at what is considered a normal and acceptable speed.  It was quite disconcerting I do have to say. It somehow created a mist of cognitive dissonance that had people feeling like the pavement had started to roll like the waves of the ocean and they were all becoming seasick whilst merely sitting outside the pub. I have never seen such mass hysteria and all from some drunk fool who kept shouting that he had drunk ‘something squiffy’. Be warned.

On A4 paper made using ink, acrylic and watercolour. Drop us a line if interested.

Cheers

id-iom

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Too much too soon

When invited to a party full of models, musicians, actors and celebrities you should really have a game plan because if not things can get out of hand rather quickly. Nemo here got invited to a high class do which included the cream of London’s elite. No one was quite sure how he got an invite but somehow he had managed to get himself one of these elusive golden tickets. On entering the party at one of London’s most exclusive hotels he realised he was totally out of his depth. He could tell these people were just more urbane than he ever could be and thought maybe he should just leave and have this as a good enough story to tell people but before he could make up his mind a waiter passed him and offered him some champagne and then, as they say, all bets were off.

On A3 paper using acrylic, spray paint, tipex, glitter and paint pen. Drop us a line if interested.

Cheers

id-iom

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The disquiet

There isn’t much that gets this man worked up but he is certainly feeling the disquiet today. That’s mainly due to the fact that he’s just found out that his favourite pub is being turned in to a cat cafe/dairy free cereal bar. He’s heard the term hipster before but thought it was probably some kind of walking aid for the infirm. The real definition however is beginning to dawn on him and he’s slowly starting to realise the implications of gentrification and the influx of these new age techno babble invaders. Just the other day he was stopped outside one of these newfangled coffee shops and was asked if he wanted to try a grande, 1/2 breve, 1/2 skim, 1 pump toffee nut, 3 pump white mocha whip with toffee nut sprinkles. What is a man meant to do when presented with such information? Well, you can see the results for yourself quite clearly.

Cheers

id-iom

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