Category Archives: sketch

The disquiet

There isn’t much that gets this man worked up but he is certainly feeling the disquiet today. That’s mainly due to the fact that he’s just found out that his favourite pub is being turned in to a cat cafe/dairy free cereal bar. He’s heard the term hipster before but thought it was probably some kind of walking aid for the infirm. The real definition however is beginning to dawn on him and he’s slowly starting to realise the implications of gentrification and the influx of these new age techno babble invaders. Just the other day he was stopped outside one of these newfangled coffee shops and was asked if he wanted to try a grande, 1/2 breve, 1/2 skim, 1 pump toffee nut, 3 pump white mocha whip with toffee nut sprinkles. What is a man meant to do when presented with such information? Well, you can see the results for yourself quite clearly.

Cheers

id-iom

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Filed under art, Graffiti, mixed media, Painting, sketch

Blinded by the Light

Surely everyone knows that you’re not meant to stare directly at the sun – even when there’s an eclipse. Apparently this lady didn’t get the memo. She’d even travelled to Romania for the best view of the eclipse. She’d been staring at the sun for ages waiting for what she believed was the second coming of Christ the Redeemer. Apparently she thought He would be descending from the skies any minute now to spread his love around the world. Sadly for her this didn’t come to pass and she severely damaged her eyesight by flagrantly ignoring long-established medical advice. Silly girl.

Cheers

id-iom

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Filed under art, Graffiti, mixed media, Painting, sketch

Well done our kid

Surely we can all remember the nervousness on that day when your exam results came out? Well today is that day for our kid. He’s just taken his level 8 balloon animal exams and he’s gone and shocked everyone by being the only perfect score this year. Apparently it was his creative writing section that cinched it for him and his optimistic essay on the golden future of balloon animals. I’m thinking that Britain’s Got Talent beckons then who knows, maybe Vegas for a couple of winter seasons. Til then he’ll have to survive on his ‘well done our kid’.

ON A4 paper made using ink, charcoal, gold leaf and acrylic and available.

Cheers

id-iom

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Big Fish, Little Fish

If you are of a certain age then the classic adage of ‘Big fish, little fish, cardboard box’ will need little explaining. For those of you new to class let me enlighten you. Instead of trying to explain it myself I’ll use the words of an anonymous blogger on the internet:

It is a jokey term about the type of dancing that used to happen at raves. 

Big fish, little fish means you hold your hands out in front of you as though you were a fisherman demonstrating the size of a fish. Big fish (hands far apart) little fish (hands closer together). Cardboard box is then moving your hands to a position as though you were supporting a box underneath with one hand, and had another hand on its lid. 

These movements are completed abruptly and jerkily.

So know you now. Our work here is done.

Cheers

id-iom

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Until he went blue in the face

There are places called Blue, there are people called Blue, there are films called Blue and there are both albums and bands called Blue. Whilst I’m at it there are songs called Blue and there are magazines called Blue and blue is, of course, one of the world’s favourite colours. But there isn’t blue food. Weird. Anyway, today’s picture features the colour blue but that is to signify water as this gentleman has been taking a series of submarine selfies but he’s been down there long enough that he’s beginning to go blue in the face himself. Perhaps someone should tell him it’s not worth it for Instagram likes…

Cheers

id-iom

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A pain in the neck

This hipster is sad because he thought it would be a good idea to wear some neck rings so his peers would believe he was a cool cat who’d been travelling and, like, totally come to some mindblowing conclusions about humanity when in fact the furthest he’s really been is  a day trip to France and he did, in fact, buy his neck rings off the internet (but they’re, like, totally authentic. Guaranteed.)

Not only is he a bit of a twat but he’s just come to the shocking realisation that once a persons neck has adjusted to the neck rings they have to leave the neck rings on permanently because having them on weakens the neck muscles causing the neck to essentially not being able to support itself.  Oh dear.

Cheers

id-iom

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Filed under art, Graffiti, mixed media, Painting, sketch, street art

Love the person within

Love the person within

Love the person within

Now this might seem quite a difficult proposition when you have devil horns and pincer-like claws for hands but this guy is actually a very prominent self-help guru who gets paid handsomely to tell people such mantra’s as ‘Love the person within’. I first met him with Sir Asmund Quayle who was taking a court mandated course which stemmed from an unfortunate accident involving two police officers, a bag of wine gums and a small falabella called rusty. I’m not exactly sure why crab hands was there but I’m pretty sure he shouldn’t have been left in a room with Sir Asmund. By the end of the course they were as thick as thieves and planning a hedonistic self help royal rumble, whatever one of them is, but they did promise me tickets so I’ll let you know how it goes.

Cheers

id-iom

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