Apparently, in the Book of Revelations, seven trumpets are sounded to herald a prophesied apocalyptic event. Upon the sound of the first trumpet, hail and fire mingled with blood is thrown to Earth, burning up a third of the trees on the planet, and all green grass. Thankfully this is not that trumpet. This trumpet contains a genie that looks very much like trumpet virtuoso Clifford Brown. When you hit the right sequence of notes the genie will appear and grant you one jazz based wish. The trumpet’s current whereabouts are unknown although it’s strongly suspected to be owned by Judi Sheppard Missett who just happens to be the founder of Jazzercise. Work it out for yourself…
As I’m currently moving house I don’t have my usual tools of the trade with me. What I did manage to grab whilst packing was my unopened Scrawlrbox that I had got through Upfest. Scrawlrbox is a subscription service that sends you a box every month with some art supplies in so you can have a play around with some new techniques and ideas. The box I went for included some tri-blend markers (essentially fancy felt tips) and some other bits to get me going. And this is what you end up with.
With the lockdown easing it’s now time for the government to introduce ‘bubbles’ – and no, we’re not talking Michael Jackon’s reanimated chimpanzee.
Bubbles are defined as a group of people with whom you can have close physical contact. From Saturday, in England, single adults living alone – or single parents whose children are under 18 – can form a support bubble with one other household.
Now if you think this seems that the government are legitimising what the Dutch call a ‘seksbuddy’ then I think we’re on the same page. The other half of id-iom is always a little suspect when I paint nudes. He usually says the image has little meaning other than the pornographic and because of this I have loads of sketches of nudes. Only when I can shoehorn it into a good write up does it ever get past editorial and here is the government just dropping it in my lap. Not really sure why i chose watercolour as the medium for this one, i’m not particularly adept at using it. Practise makes perfect I suppose.
It is A4 in size and made using the magic of imagination, watercolour and pencil
Things have been getting a little weird since lockdown. The intense boredom and general anxiety mix together in some odd combinations. In order to combat this I thought a self-portrait may be in order. I was wrong.
Looking at the paper in front of me I saw myself staring back or at least some facsimile of me – but things just weren’t quite right. The head too elongated, the nose too small but the dead, lifeless eyes I seemed to have got just right.
Then I realised it wasn’t really me but that unflinching dolt High Risk Hugo. A stain on society if ever I saw one. A man who on his good days was more like Chuck Norris on flakka trying to chat up your girlfriend but on his bad days the social equivalent of someone slipping a dead slug in your mouth and holding it shut.
I’ll not be doing another selfie anytime soon. We don’t need to let that particular cat out of the bag…
When superheroes kiss strange things can happen. Never mind when they really go for it. Here we have Spanish superhero Limon Cojones getting it on with Miami based super strong wrestler Blue Thunder. What’s going to happen next is anyone’s guess. I’ve seen this kind of thing before but the only consistent thing is that it’s going to be unpredictable. Perhaps it will start raining lemonade and kittens. It’s happened before. Which kind of means it’s unlikely to happen again.
This is the first of some sketches for bigger pieces that all revolve around the strange but surprisingly mundane love lives of superheroes. Why? Well, I’ve got to fill my time somehow and this seemed like a good idea at the time.
As an aside, I’ve got no idea what the Japanese text says as I translated it ages ago and have forgotten. I’m going to go with something like ‘superhero kiss kiss’ but I wouldn’t be suprised if it said something else entirely. So, if you are proficient in Japanese maybe you could help me out…
Recently my washing machine broke down so I had to use the local laundrette to wash my clothes. Never having used one before I wasn’t really sure what to expect but I’m certainly sure that what I did witness was not what you would call the norm.
When I walked in a couldn’t see a soul until I walked around the first bank of machines, to my surprise I caught this lady sitting on a washing machine writhing about, legs akimbo, whimpering to herself. My first thought was this was some reenactment of the famous scene from ‘When Harry met Sally’ but as I looked closer I could see the tail of some small rodent sticking out the bottom of her trouser leg. To say I was shocked would be an understatement, I dropped my washing and ran as fast as my legs could take me from the place and left her to deal with the situation herself. Now I know it’s not the most chivalrous response one could have but I just felt the fact that I was wearing shorts was enough of a reason to high tail it out of there in case it came at me with its pointed snout, small rounded ears and pink scaly tail. I certainly wasn’t going to be caught in this little fellas well thought out trap…
You’re probably not going to believe me but Gregor here used to be a top influencer on Instagram for this stunning good looks and perfect quiff but things have begun to go downhill rather rapidly for him.
It all started innocently enough. Gregor was studiously going through his daily beauty regime and was plucking a rogue nostril hair when he caught his own eye in the mirror. Taken as he was with his own reflection he gave himself a cheeky wink and it all escalated from there. Now he only has time for his own reflection. He’s given up posting on Instagram but sits staring at himself for hours on end. He will occasionally smile or wink at himself while he whispers unintelligibly into the mirror. What will come of him I hear you ask? Well if you know anything of Greek mythology then you’ll know that the story of Narcissus doesn’t end well for the person concerned…
On A4 and made using Charcoal, pencil, paint pen and acrylic, drop us a line if interested.
Now this is a story all about how Lou’s life got flipped, turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there. I’ll tell you how she became the ghost with white hair. It all began one morning when she was running a little late for work and decided to eat a bit of leftover takeaway for breakfast. This turned out to be a very bad decision. Within 3 hours she was dead. It’s unclear why she has been forced to haunt her old workplace for all eternity but she does it with dignity and grace. That is until she remembers the takeaway and goes into screaming banshee mode. It can certainly put you off your breakfast. That’s for sure. You may wonder why I’m telling you this. All I can say for sure is that questions are often more intriguing than answers.
We’ve all been there. Well, most of us anyway. It’s Thursday so perhaps a drink after work may be in order. One turns into another. Unfortunately, we all know the end result.
Friday becomes a day of creatively staring at the computer and shuffling round the office in a vain attempt to avoid detection. Little to no work will be done and he’d do well to actively avoid sabotaging himself. All he can look forward to is his boss putting him out of his misery and letting him go home early but he knows that is about as likely to happen as oranges suddenly becoming sentient worldwide. Let this be a lesson to all those thinking today might be that day!!
Whilst painting I managed to spill my cup of tea. Usually a catastrophe of such proportions would cause me to curl up in the fetal position and start crying over the waste of such lovely nectar. This time however, before my tear ducts could react, I saw something in the spill.
Before I knew it the Muse was upon me and I searched frantically for a pencil lest my creative urge abandoned me. After about a long minute of searching I found one behind my ear (damn those days spent on building sites) now all I had to do was a few quick lines and the Muse disappeared to relieve Molly Quirke (age 9) of a small case of creative block related to drawing a horse.
Now i’m not really sure how you can be a captain of a pigment but then again I’m not entirely sure what’s going with the world nowadays, so I suppose I have to expect any and everything goes in this social media age.
In fact just looking through this guy’s social media feed it would seem he’s no captain at all but just someone who has a unhealthy fascination with cadmium in all forms. That said he seems to be more interested in the colours it can make instead of its use in mobile phone batteries.
He tried to get in to the game of mining cadmium but instead of trying the tried and tested techniques he decided that he would try and obtain as much as he could by smoking as much as he could. Now as we all know this is an incredibly dangerous idea but the captain is now the biggest and only dealer in cigarette obtained cadmium. I have to say i really don’t think this is a good business model at all but c’est la vie i suppose…