Dave (or ‘Panther’ to his friends) had never been accused of making good decisions. In fact his chequered past was littered with questionable decisions. But none quite so foolish as today’s rash move.
He’d decided to buy a jet ski and go and see his girlfriend, which, on the face of it, sounds pretty romantic. Love will find a way and all that. He lived in Scotland however whilst his heart’s desire lived on the Isle of Man. If you throw in the fact that the Irish Sea in winter time is not the most charitable place to be combined with the fact it’s 40km from Scotland and the fact that he’d never ridden a jet ski before you can begin to see the poor decisions branching off into infinity. Oh, and I forgot to say it’s the middle of a pandemic and the Isle of Man is sealed off, covid free and lusting to throw lawbreakers in prison – so Dave’s decision is looking poorer by the second.
Somehow he made it despite the journey taking almost 4 hours longer than he predicted and, assumably, him almost freezing to death. You’d think perhaps lying low at his girlfriend’s might be a good idea but no, it’s out clubbing for Dave and his betrothed. Perhaps predictably this was his face on being told he faced a prison sentence after the long arm of the law reached out for him the following day…
It is A3 in size and made using the magic of acrylic, pastel, paint pen and imagination. Drop us a line if you need Dave in your life…
We had a small competition a little while ago on Facebook where I posted the image below (with the caption at the bottom cropped off) and had people guess what the rabbit was up to.
The answers regarding what the bunny were up to were pretty much uniformly bad suggesting that he was a serial killer or perhaps some kind of drug addict. Personally I think it’s the look in his beady little eye that gives that impression. The poster suggests otherwise. Patrick (for that is his name) is actually putting in or otherwise adjusting his new hearing aids. Assumably it’s so he can hear the blood curdling screams of his victims or hear his dealer when he calls him up.
The truth is bad things just seem to follow Patrick wherever he goes. He was kicked out of his warren at the tender age of 2 when he was still a big ball of fluff but they already knew then what i’m telling you now. Nobody really knows what he was up to for the next few years. Some say he spent some time with an unorthodox Irish shaman trying to learn the mysteries of life, others that he was a ruthless pimp in Bolton and there’s one person who swears he was heavily involved with the creation of One Direction. Maybe all three are true? Anyway, the next time we have any concrete evidence of his whereabouts is from medical records suggesting he suffered some kind of traumatic ear loss. There are no details as to how or why.
Today’s piece was the prize for the closest guess as to what Patrick was doing and gives us some kind of update on what he’s doing now. Exactly what that is I’m not sure. It doesn’t look particularly good though. It’s called ‘Dead Bad Dibo Bunny’ and is currently in its new home in Germany. That’s all I know for sure…
I know that ‘When sinners become saints’ sounds like some low rent daytime TV game show that comes on after Jeremy Kyle but this picture was somehow meant to be elucidating the notion that each of us has the capability to be either good or bad depending on circumstance and that ‘bad’ people can do ‘good’ things (and vice versa). It’s rarely as clear cut as we are often lead to believe. I think that’s about as highbrow as I’m going today so tomorrow normal service will be resumed and we’ll probably have a picture of an anthropomorphic badger with an over-sized gun (or something equally frivolous. No guarantees!)
Title: When sinners become saints
Materials: Acrylic, paint pen, spray paint and charcoal
Please email if interested
This picture was painted on the run up to Christmas where we are inundated with strange & nonsensical perfume and supermarket ad’s, there’s Christmas songs playing non-stop and I also heard some carol singers (I actually quite like carol singers and they are one of the things i enjoy about Christmas). It’s meant to be Spring time now and this post is still accompanied by freezing conditions and high winds. What other time of year could it possibly be? To throw our Springtime hat into the ring we bring you ‘Dead Bad Shot’. It features a lot of red. Like roses. And blood.
This one is definitely from left field and is probably some kind of portal into my tar black soul. I’m probably baring my innermost fears and don’t even know about it. I’m sure a psychiatrist could probably have more fun with this than the old Rorschach test. Anyway I have to go as there are other dark and creepy thoughts just begging to be let out of my head and set down on paper. Toodle pip for now!
It is A2 in size and is made using the magic of acrylic paint and ink. Signed on reverse.