Anything that kills me makes me feel alive

This guy is an urban vampire. If you know what to look for it’s easy to spot. Bats for hair is the first thing. As we all know, vampires are naturally bald but over time they’ve convinced squadrons of tiny undead bats to cling to their scalps in some semblance of a hairpiece. They tend to have a glamour (or spell) that makes the beasts look just like a well tousled head of hair but if you squint just right you can see the little blighters scrabbling over each other for purchase or occasionally flying off to snatch a nearby fly.

The fact that vampires tend to smoke hemlock cigarettes is another giveaway. With a smell more acrid than burning tyres one hit will kill you in an instant but that doesn’t stop them passing them over for a toke to anyone stupid enough to ask what it is.

Finally, vampires love bling. And not just any one old bling. They believe that ancient gold artifacts posess the power of civilisations now gone. And the mythical Golden Fleece is the most revered of the lot. Here he’s had it spun into an actual fleece so he’ll be able to pass as normal a bit more easily whilst out and about. So there you go. Now you now.

He’s been lasercut on wood at 39 x 27cm and then lovingly hand painted before some gold and silver leaf was added (they love bling remember) and a drizzle of crystal resin to finish.

Cheers

id-iom

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Vampire midwinter

Summer solstice is here again. Which is a good time for us humans with those long summery days but think about the poor vampires. This proud vampire lady has been reduced to taking twice daily cold blood showers in her dark and dank underground mausoleum. She hasn’t left for weeks and probably won’t for some time to come. Her neighbours think she’s off in the Caribbean for summertime – as always. In reality she’s been subsisting on a diet of fresh meat delivered by Waitrose and illegally streaming Netflix over her neighbours wifi. Even one minute in those glorious summer rays would reduce her to a pile of ash. Spare a thought.

She’s lasercut on wood at 39 x 26cm and then handpainted. Once you’ve added some crystal resin to represent the cold blood showers and a few little bats to represent her cheeky take on vampire home decor and you’ve got another successful id-iom piece. Drop us a line if interested…

Cheers

id-iom

Dead flock lover

No, nothing to do with a necrophiliac wallpaper admirer but some kind of unconscious reaction to the Twilight saga. As it goes, my brother’s lovely ladyfriend had just been reading the Twilight trilogy and i think this had somehow permeated my sub-conscious and then finally re-appeared as this little number after some form of mental processing. Sometimes I think my brain just works on automatic a lot of the time so it’s often difficult to separate out conscious and sub-conscious factors in the creation of new work – not that i try to separate them out very often you understand but sometimes i do have to wonder…

My final flourish was a bit of glitter just to give it that extra bit of sparkle. I’m sure vampires everywhere would approve (particularly the more sensitive and effeminate ones we seem to be seeing more of these days)…

Cheers

id-iom

Title: Dead flock lover

Media: Acrylic, spray paint ink, newspaper, glitter, charcoal and paint pen

Size: A2