Tag Archives: beard

Afrofunk album of the year?

You’ll be glad to know I prevailed in the mexican standoff with Patrick here. His phone rang. I signalled with my eyes that it would be cool to take the call. He wandered off to take said call and I struck. Hitting the wall with what I imagined to be the cover of Patrick’s newest imaginary Afrofunk single. Straight from the mean streets of Mombasa and fresh from his new collaboration album with Seun Kuti and Staff Benda Bilili. You’ll also be glad to hear it’s shooting up the imaginary Afrofunk charts as I write. Life can be sweet, even in these dark times…

Cheers

id-iom 

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Throw us a bone Pat…

Whilst Patrick here has been really most helpful in getting him to this stage he resolutely refuses to communicate anything about his preferences for a background so we’re currently engaging in the artistic version of a mexican standoff. Who will prevail?

Cheers

id-iom

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Impasse

Well, it turns out that we’ve reached something of an impasse with Patrick here. It’s been a rocky road to get this far and now the way forward is unsure. I had even less skin tone colours than last time but am quite pleased with the eventual outcome – especially the nose. The problem is background. And there is currently no resolution in sight. 

It would seem the muse has slipped off to provide inspiration to some other struggling artist. The best I can currently come up with is something Tiger King related but that just feels like I’m jumping on the bandwagon. We’ll just have to see if that’s the best I can do. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the second series of ‘Painting in my garden’…

Cheers

id-iom

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Look what happened to the last guy…

The subject of our last mural, Marcus, didn’t obey social distancing rules and so had to be whitewashed. Let’s just hope our new subject is a little more responsible.

I’m beginning to wonder how many garden murals I’ll get through before all this blows over…

Cheers

id-iom

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28 days later

Day 28 of self-isolation. Marcus has no idea what day of the week it is and is proud of that fact. He has now reverted to a more primordial being. Self grooming was scaled back and has now stopped entirely. His beard is taking on a life of it’s own and his untamed afro is becoming more voluminous by the hour. Reality has ceased being real. His primary concerns now are hunter-gathering, sleeping and watching television. In that order. Most conversations take place in his head. He’d quite like to know when this is all going to end so he can plan accordingly. It’s 11.45am however so he’s only got 15 minutes to prepare for cocktail hour and he doesn’t want to miss the 2 for 1 promo deal…
As a side note Marcus’ hair extension was surprisingly time consuming to create considering it’s just a big bit of spray painted paper. Luckily time is currently the one thing I do have plenty of. I think I’ve taken Marcus as far as he can go. Time for a whitewash… 

Cheers
id-iom

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Lockdown London

‘I always feel like somebody’s watching me’ sang Rockwell in his 1984 hit (which features Michael Jackson on backing vocals assumably because Rockwell’s dad was Motown CEO Berry Gordy). And he wasn’t wrong. In today’s always-connected society the feeling that you’re being watched is very real indeed. Because you probably are. Being under lockdown hasn’t really helped to allay this anxiety for Marcus here but he’s getting on with things as best he can. Aren’t we all.

Well, there it is. My first solo mission. I’m pretty pleased with the final product – from the skin tone to the wallpaper. Now I just need some sunshine again and I can move on with some modifications before whitewashing and starting all over again.

Cheers

id-iom 

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The Lion’s Den

Goldbeard does not look happy at being erased…

The year is 1981. The place is the newly opened Lion’s Den club in Miami’s South Beach. Our time-travelling warrior poet Azrael Goldbeard is taking some well earned time off in the early 80’s as he fancied a bit of some sun and some disco dancing. Although lesser known than it’s New York counterpart, Studio 54, the Lion’s Den is very much along the same lines. Debauchery is the name of the game and Goldbeard is very much enjoying his time here. He’s currently thinking about nipping back to 77 and see what all the fuss was about. It’ll be a while until he’s back in grim and grimy 2019…

Cheers

id-iom

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Blue in the face

Last time we met time-travelling warrior poet Azrael Goldbeard he was in his undercover human form sometime in the 1970’s but since then he’s mistakenly jumped to 2019 Brexit Britain and it has got him well and truly wound up. He’s not thinking of a spiffy haiku now but has reverted to his powered up warrior form as he can sense the awesome amount of negative energy all around him. 

His beard is now composed of pure energy and his eyes are literally leaking the power of a dwarf star. We can only hope he decides to put this energy to good use rather than taking off and nuking the entire site from orbit and hightailing it back to the 70’s. I, for one, welcome our new galactic overlords…

Love

id-iom

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The Band in Hand

With some new soundproofing being constructed to go over the windows in the back room of our local boozer they needed us to add a touch of id-iom design magic so it would also function as a sign to let people know a band night was on and which way the entrance is (it’s an old pub so has 3 possible entrances – only one of which actually opens). A couple of design variations later and we were left with the bearded hipster style guy staring imperiously at you along with a couple of Band in Hand logo’s and the yellow and white arrows. It’s pretty clean and straight forward all things considered. I think I need to go and make a proper mess somewhere now…

Cheers

id-iom

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Hexabeard 5000

The Hexabeard 5000 experimental beard serum had some side effects…

Lining up the painted beam with his head proved trickier than anticipated…

Sometimes when you take an experimental beard serum weird things are going to happen. Gary here used to have a scraggly teenager’s bumfluff beard at the ripe old age of 32 and he wasn’t a happy chap. He had long yearned for a thick luscious hipster’s beard like his best friend Fitz and intended, somehow, to get one. He’d tried all sorts of so called remedies – from rubbing his face with peanut butter to shaving every 20 minutes in an attempt to force growth, all to no avail. His prayers would be answered soon enough however.

In desperation, after a late night’s internetting, he clicked on a link to a somewhat shady company that sold research chemicals and promptly parted with a week’s wages for a course of the unproven and experimental Hexabeard 5000. With the instructions being in Chinese he did the best he could when his package arrived and did all the pills over the course of a week. The following Monday new growth could definitely be seen and within a few days he had a full beard. He was over the moon. Then the coloured hexagons started appearing, web-like growth would materialise overnight and his eyes started to change.

At first he was scared but it quickly made him the coolest hipster in town. Unfortunately this was only for about 2 weeks until a 7 year old with a 2ft long bushy beard came along and blew all the competition away. The moral of the story? Well, like life you’ll just have to work it out for yourself…

Cheers

id-iom

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