Being the social influencers we are we were asked if we would like to take receipt of a goody box for the upcoming show ‘Blood Drive’ and watch the first episode. The box of stuff was particularly well suited as we’ve now managed to get Hugo a new girlfriend. Her name is Brandy. The fluffy dice will seriously accentuate the look of the id-iomobile too and apparently a 1993 study showed there to be no correlation between the use of fuzzy dice and the degree of a driver’s reckless driving behaviour so we should be fine.
To say Blood Drive is something of a Marmite show is probably an understatement. It’s basic premise is a death race in cars powered by blood. There’s sex, violence and all that comes between. It’s like every trashy exploitation b-movie you’ve never seen but enjoyably ridiculous for being so. It’s starting on Syfy channel tonight in the UK.
Sooooo, I’ve written a zombie book called Skin & Bones. I’ve yet to do anything with it other than give it to a few friends to read so thought I’d remedy that by attempting some feeble marketing for it and giving it a shameless plug here. This text would ideally be the back of the book blurb. If you’re at all interested then drop me a line. Here’s what the text says:
This morning you woke up feeling a little unwell. You have no appetite, your head is aching, your throat is sore and you think you might have a slight fever. You don’t know it yet, but the zombie virus has already been working away inside you for a week or so and has been busy attacking your immune system. It’s reached the stage where it’s really about make it’s presence known.
Exactly when and where you were infected is unclear as it can take anything between 21 and 30 days from initial infection to the first proper symptoms. What is more certain is that you are now infectious yourself and have been for a while. Your family, friends and anyone else in close contact with you are all in mortal danger.
The next couple of days will determine if you are one of the lucky few who has some natural resistance and will, at least, survive the infection stage or not. In the highly probable event that you have no resistance then, at some time between 3 and 4 weeks after infection, you can expect the whites of your eyes to turn red, your vomit and diarrhoea will now be charged with infected blood and large blood blisters develop under your skin. You are now at the peak of infectiousness as the virus particles, eager to find their next victim, replicate swiftly inside your body.
What comes next is straight out of a movie. Your brain heats up and you become more aggressive as your mental faculties begin to deteriorate. At some point you’ll become unconscious and then the next time you open your eyes you will no longer be in control of yourself. You are now constantly hungry for human flesh and have the overriding urge to bite someone. Satisfying your cravings is now all your limited intellect can cope with. Congratulations, you are now a zombie.
Calling you a zombie would probably suffice in a pinch but isn’t quite correct however and the term ‘living dead’ would probably seem a better fit. But you won’t care. The virus has made permanent changes. From the second you were infected the grave is your only and eventual way out. At least by that point you’ll have no knowledge of what you’re doing. Just following some of the baser human instincts that have been modified and enhanced. Your end is nigh. Along with just about everybody else’s…
Summer solstice is here again. Which is a good time for us humans with those long summery days but think about the poor vampires. This proud vampire lady has been reduced to taking twice daily cold blood showers in her dark and dank underground mausoleum. She hasn’t left for weeks and probably won’t for some time to come. Her neighbours think she’s off in the Caribbean for summertime – as always. In reality she’s been subsisting on a diet of fresh meat delivered by Waitrose and illegally streaming Netflix over her neighbours wifi. Even one minute in those glorious summer rays would reduce her to a pile of ash. Spare a thought.
She’s lasercut on wood at 39 x 26cm and then handpainted. Once you’ve added some crystal resin to represent the cold blood showers and a few little bats to represent her cheeky take on vampire home decor and you’ve got another successful id-iom piece. Drop us a line if interested…
With the referendum now complete and the UK voting to leave the EU it would seem that all and sundry are out to vent their political frustrations on facebook. I can only assume everyone else’s facebook feeds are just some variation on the same theme as mine. Even those who seemingly had no political stance just a few days ago seem to suddenly have a full battery of opinions. And he’s not scared to use them.
Here we have a piece examining the repercussions of the first Brexit flame war. In a candid letter home to his mum from the frontlines in the battle for internet supremacy one plucky keyboard warrior is sure his righteous indignation will protect him and that it’ll all be over shortly. He thinks he’ll be back with his kids before too long. If only he knew. This is only the first salvo…
War! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again! – so sang Edwin Starr in 1970 on the anti-Vietnam song ‘War’ (which, i was interested to learn was originally recorded by The Temptations but not released as they didn’t want to alienate their more conservative fans). Today’s piece is something of homage to the pointlessness of war and was inspired by the poem ‘Futility’ by Wilfred Owen which is about life and death in the trenches of France during World War One and the futility of the whole situation. Hopefully our piece reflects at least an echo of that sentiment.
Righto, that’s enough highfalutin seriousness for today. We’ll hopefully be back to our usual broadcast of gibberish tomorrow…
Media: Spray paint and stencils on roof slate
Size: 50 x 25 cm slate
Please email if interested
Sometimes I can only do what the muse tells me.There I was thinking I’d got any vampire inspired pieces out of my system and then I have to go and pull this little number out. She looks like she’s been feeding somewhere recently. Hopefully this will be the last one but I have been kept indoors for some time now and Spring really needs to arrive. I think i really need to get out and do some damage to a wall somewhere…
It is A2 in size and is made using the magic of acrylic paint, spray paint and paint pen. Signed on reverse.
We’ve all been there as a kid when we’ve had an accident and all of a sudden the world seems a dark and daunting place. What a poor soul this boy is… He’s hurt his knee but he has no need to worry as he has a fairy godmother. The fairy on the picture is whispering – ‘Don’t cry son. A plaster is on it’s way’. This is offset somewhat by the legend at the bottom saying ‘Pain is life’. He’ll soon learn. And I doubt that fairy godmother will hang around forever…
It is A2 in size and is made using the magic of acrylic paint, watercolour, spray paint and paint pen. Signed on reverse.
So we had a couple of fellow artists helping out somewhat with the redecoration at the House of Pain(t). We’ve already covered our attempts to finish up Perspicere‘s work in the thread room and now we’ve got a couple of pieces where we’ve done a little work with artist Agent Provocateur (who unfortunately has nothing to do with the lingerie company of the same name).
First up we have a beautifully placed reference to Hitchcock’s ‘Psycho‘ that I just couldn’t resist adding the blood splatter to. I think this is a top notch bit of placement and the ‘blood’ just really finishes it off. It really isn’t the kind of place you’d want to have a shower (even if the ceiling hadn’t caved in somewhat).
Eagle Eyed Herrods
Eagle Eyed Herrods (detail)
And then we have our eagle eyed wheatpaste which just seemed to fit nicely over AP’s ‘Herrods’ logo which was already on the wall.
Today’s offering is Futility and is based on the poem of the same name by Wilfred Owen. I reckon that it must be my favourite poem. I would be lying if I said I had studied much poetry and can still remember this from school. I think the fact that i can remember it verbatim must mean that it has struck some kind of chord with me. It’s about the life and death in the trenches of France during World War One and the futility of the whole situation. According to Wikipedia it is ‘a departure from his usual style of including disturbing and graphic images and instead has an oddly soothing feel to it’. Whilst not knowing his usual style i can only agree that it has a somewhat soothing feel to it.
An unique A3 screen print with stencils and hand finishing. Here’s the Ebay link – http://goo.gl/73fVt Let the bidding commence!
Since Shergar was kidnapped in February 1983 there has been much speculation as to his eventual fate. Shergar was an acclaimed Irish racehorse originally bred and raised by the Aga Khan who sold shares in Shergar at the peak of his prowess so at the time of his theft he was owned by a syndicate of 34 owners (including the Aga Khan). Following his kidnap there was a somewhat comical police investigation and some negotiations with the thieves which finally came to nothing. The final fate of this majestic beast was known only by those directly involved. Only now after years of painstaking research and gruelling interviews with witnesses can we reveal what became of the revered stallion.
Sometimes you really don’t know what the muse is going to get you to do next. This started out as a simple case of whitewashing the wall (with blue paint!) but then somehow managed to morph into a piece about Shergar. And that’s really all there is to it…
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