John couldn’t quite put his finger on when it started. But it had been going on for a while and he’d had just about as much as his sanity could put up with. Whenever he’d go up to the attic where his extensive model railway was set up he’d find that things had been moved around. Never broken but definitely not where he last left them. He’d spoken with his wife but she swore on her life she hadn’t been up there in years, as agreed. After deciding it was extreme measures or his sanity he set up a camera trap.
Sure enough when he next went up his things weren’t as they should have been. After checking the camera this mysterious and slightly feral looking child with a small bird on his shoulder was what he saw. The police were called but ‘the Kid’ was never seen again. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
The little tyke is on a nice 60x60cm square canvas and has been made using the power of imagination, stencils and spray paint. It’s finished for now but be quick if you want to give it a home as I’m already asking myself whether I can stand the minimalism…
In these dark and worrying times we all need heroes and I present the superhero power couple of Lady Themis and Dishonest Robin. You may be wondering what the lady of good counsel and personification of justice is doing hanging around with a robin who will steal, lie and cheat his way to gates of hell (and the deaf and dumb boy whom Robin commands around as his glorified perch/sidekick).
Well, when Lady Themis is disregarded in her judgement then Dishonest Robin comes into his own. He dons his superpower guise and turns into Nemesis, Lady Themis’ rightful antithesis. As Nemesis, he brings just and wrathful retribution to all of those who would not heed Lady Themis’ wise counsel. Basically a superpowered version of good cop, bad cop. Probably best to do just do what she suggests…
‘Lady Themis and Dishonest Robin’ are each on a 61cm x 61cm wooden panels and are made using the magic of acrylic, spray paint and paint pen. Drop us a line if you’d like to give them a new home…
I was reading something about the artist Jeff Koons and the fact that his piece ‘Balloon dog (orange)’ sold for a world record auction price for a piece of work by a living artist in November 2013. It sold for a staggering $58.4 million. Art critics are apparently divided over whether he’s due to be historically important or whether his works are crass and kitsch and are the product of cynical self-marketing.
Personally I love shiny stuff and I also love things that are comically out of proportion so the massive shiny metal balloon dogs are something that really appeal to me. Although whether I’d pay the best part of $60 million for one (even if I had it) remains to be seen. Anyway, all that may seem beside the point but now here’s the segue back to today’s piece. I recently had a very strange dream which I think was influenced by the article on Koons that I had read. It made little sense – as dreams are wont to do but one residing image I had of that dream is pretty much what you see before you. A man staring quizzically at the large and shiny Koons balloon dog that he has on a piece of string. I’d like to think it some kind of sub-conscious commentary on art as a commodity but I’m pretty sure I’m far too shallow for that. So there you have it. Take from that what you will…
Oh, and it’s all done on some fancy handmade rag paper which is slightly more absorbent that I thought it would be but I guess you live and learn.
Title: Down boy!
Media: Spraypaint, stencils and imagination.
Size: 30 x 60cm
Now if you’ve ever fallen off your bike at great speed you’ll know that screaming a few expletives is a great way to stop thinking about the pain. If you manage to really hurt yourself the best advice i can give you is to ‘Scream for all you’re worth’ and keep doing it, as apart from a magic plaster it is the best way to sort out any injury. But then again I’m no doctor…
Title: Scream for all your worth
Materials: Spray paint, paint pen and charcoal
First up this week we’ve got ‘The Boy with the Red Face’ who is now on eBay (click link to follow to eBay)..
Well, well, look what we have here. It looks like someone has been caught doing something they shouldn’t by their mum. The red face and sullen eyes are an obvious giveaway but just look at those tears as well – that’s a sure fire sign if ever I saw one! The only thing I’m not sure about is what exactly this lad has done – but don’t worry, we can always make something up…
Hubert, for that is what we shall call him, was on his way to the shop to fetch some ciggies for his mother. When the proprietor turned his back Hubert decided to steal some Disney Princess ‘Princess Glamour’ Sticker Collection packs from the counter but Hubert wasn’t a skilled thief. Needless to say the owner caught him and promptly escorted him back home after leaving the shop in the hands of Mrs Clompton who had only just popped in for a pint of milk.
The story continues of course but i think you can fill out the rest of the story yourself and how he ended up like he is in the painting…
Title: The Boy with the Red Face
Materials: Acrylic, paint pen, spraypaint and glitter
Due to incestuous breeding practices between many of the European royal houses over the last few centuries, poor Otto here has an unprecedented cross to bear which could have only come about due to these bizarre and ultimately unhealthy practises.
The problem arises due to the fact that poor Otto is now the king of four different European countries. Don’t ask me how this happened but I believe it has something to do with some arcane royal protocols that no one thought to have a look at and change.
If that wasn’t enough poor Otto was born with eyes that some in private circles have called bug-like and a head that is as flat as a tabletop. Now, this wouldn’t be too much of an issue apart from when it comes to making sure his crowns stay firmly in place…
It is painted on 60×60 cm canvas and made using the magic of inspiration, acrylic, pastel and spray paint.
If you’ve ever had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of a serious tantrum from a disgruntled toddler because they were denied another hour of toy unboxing videos on youtube or somesuch then you’ll know where I’m coming from with this one. One minute they’re all cool and calm and within seconds of giving them the bad news that they’ve got to put the tablet down you can see the drawbridge coming down and the big guns coming out.
Before you know it they’re shouting and screaming and then you’re stuck in the moral quandary of being emotionally blackmailed by a small child. Do you back down and give them the tablet back ‘just for 5 more minutes’ to get a bit of peace and quiet or do you stick to your guns and force them into a highly melodramatic blowout? The choice is yours…
As an aside, cutting through thick perspex with the cheapest jig saw money can buy was somewhat problematic and the kid cutout we have here is actually the second version as I managed to snap the head off the previous one. Needless to say I almost had a temper tantrum myself.