Keen followers of id-iom will know that we like to put a little write up with our pieces. Today is no exception but it appears we’ve run into a small snag. Neither of us can seemingly come up with anything suitable for today’s decidedly lovely painting. She’s a wistful looking lady gazing off stage left. That much is for sure.
It’s usually quite obvious (to us at least) what the blurb will be. But not today. It’s veered from being related to the boredom of lockdown to living in a crashed space station to shouting at your own private parts. I wish I was making it up. Now, in the fruitless search for a write up, I’ve had to go all existential and write about my inability to come up with something to write about. Meta. Take from it all what you will…
If you’d like to give her a home drop us a line etc. It is A2 on high quality Bockingford paper and made using Acrylic, paint pen, watercolour pencil and spray paint.
Callie was old. Very old. Although she didn’t look it and woe betide anyone who didn’t appreciate her fair skin and face. She was also a sea witch which, if you consult your big book of mythology, are powerful and capricious beings. Offending a sea witch by such means as refusing to pay her for her services, insulting her looks, or refusing to acknowledge her powers could end in disaster as she might choose to destroy an entire ship if she so wishes.
On the other hand though they can help people out just because they feel like it too. I guess that’s the nature of being capricious. Just a few weeks ago she’d been fooling around in the Irish Sea when she came across a lone jet-skier getting knocked about in the frigid and choppy water on a roundabout course for the Isle of Man. One quick divination later and she knew he was to become the Jet-Ski Romeo. It had never been in her nature to defy the course of true love so she decided to assist his crossing. And that’s the only reason he made it. Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
On A4 made using acrylic, oil pastel and paint pen. Drop us a line if you’re interested in giving her a new home
We are all in the middle of a global pandemic, Tier 3 has just been activated in London, Christmas is looming ever closer and the weather is simply shocking. Don’t let that bring you down though, instead, why not simply engage in some extreme procrastination and write today off and maybe even the rest of December. Perhaps January and February too just for good measure..
Do you dig being dilatory? Would you generally prefer to be back in bed? Do you think things sound classier in Latin? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions then we have just the product for you! id-iom’s new range of demotivational artworks are ideal to give you that extra little nudge you need to justify to yourself whatever decision you’re about to make. It’s that simple! Anyone can use them!
She’s on A2 paper and the Latin text ‘Maybe cras amici mei’ (which translates as ‘Maybe tomorrow my friend’) will make your friends think you’re both educated and sophisticated. Voila! She is made using the magic of spraypaint, stencils, glitter, acrylic and imagination. If you’d like to give her a new home then get in touch. I completely understand if you can’t be bothered today though…
This morning i just couldn’t think of anything clever or amusing for the write up for this piece, so whilst racking my brain I thought i’d have a quick trawl of the interweb to see if i could find any inspiration. It wasn’t looking great until I came across an article about google’s new poetry AI and that’s when things started to fall into place. So instead of some well thought out prose I give you some poetry created by a computer after a little nudge in the right direction by myself. I hope you enjoy:
Psychology of Pink
First I fell into an idle bed;
Drowning all a feeling with a think
To breathe those flowers upon my head.
Psychology of blue
He knew that an artist, an marked school,
Brought on its heart, like the distant dew
As if a dog I might paint a fool?
Now if that doesn’t strike a chord i’m pretty sure you are dead inside…
There I was painting away and I thought I had it! Then I lost it. Then I managed to find it again before taking it too far and then suddenly I was looking at an absolute mess of a picture. Normally I would throw a big hissy fit and rip it up or scrawl over it like some scene out of soap when someone is going a little off the rails- but that wasn’t to be the case.
I made a post on social media about my situation and I got some words of encouragement which made me reassess the picture and carry on, although I thought it something of a loss leader at this point.
Anyway, I’m still not particularly happy with it but just because I painted something I didn’t like doesn’t mean its worthless. We all deserve a second chance. For one I’m learning and beginning to own my mistakes. I just hope the next one doesn’t make me pull what little hair remains…
We have previous with Martin here. Just the other day we told you about how he boarded a train to nowhere after complaining to Southwestern Rail when he missed the last train to Bristol (entirely his own fault). Perhaps you have been wondering whatever happened to that poor soul. Well, let me clear that up for you…
Martin was stuck on that train for what felt like an eternity to him but was, in fact, more like 3 days. Just long enough for people to start getting worried about him but not long enough for it to be an unsolved mystery.
Martin’s memory of the whole thing was hazy at best and the little he could remember couldn’t be explained without him sounding like a madman. He didn’t want that, he had responsibilities, and so he kept schtum about the whole matter. He never again sent a moody message to Southwestern Rail though. Or anyone else for that matter. What’s the moral of this story? You’ll just have to work it out for yourself…
Not sure what to do with himself now that he had missed the last train to Bristol, Martin had been sitting on the platform for a while when he came up with the idea to tweet Southwestern rail to see if there’s anything to be done in order to rectify his problem. He was a little angry so perhaps his tweet was not as cordial as it could have been.
To his absolute astonishment, they sent him a message almost immediately stating that another train would pull up in about a minute to pick him up. The trouble was Martin was staring at the departures board and there was nothing going to Bristol – or anywhere else for that matter – but before he could really think about it a train pulled in to the platform and he thought he’d better board before he was stuck for the night.
As he sat down he noticed the train had lavish curtains and a general air of sophistication that hadn’t been seen on this line for at least a century. Not sure what to do Martin was looking at the doors and thinking about getting off when they silently slid shut.
As the train pulled away from the station and around a curve Martin could see the rest of the train behind him. He saw a desperate ghostly face pressed up against each and every window he could see. Shaken, Martin sat down. He was thinking this must be the fate that awaits anyone who complains about Southwestern Rail. And do you know what? He was right.
The bird-like nest on top of Diane’s head is actually her hair after just 2 sips of white wine after work on a Thursday. She intends on doing the whole bottle. She knows she has work again tomorrow but she just doesn’t care. That’s working from home for you. She read online that she can now change her hairstyle digitally using the magical power of her computer. If she can only work out how it all works then her next Zoom call should prove a little more interesting and perhaps Phillip from Marketing might finally take some notice. If not she’s going to send him a virus from a made-up but believable email address and see how he likes that instead…
When someone asks you whether you want to pop out for a pint in these weird and testing times what is your answer? Judy here is trying her best to stick to government guidelines but she just doesn’t know anymore and that’s about pretty much everything.
What is the colour of your eyes? I don’t know. When is your birthday? Not sure. What is the colour of an orange? Pink? It’s all just a little too much for poor Judy. Her eyes are now just hollowed out depressions in the front of her face, her nose is as red as Rudolph’s and she hasn’t even had a drink in the last few weeks or at least she doesn’t think she has.
Judy has found the easiest way to answer questions nowadays is to just start replying with affirmative and negative interjections and other assorted phrases until people either get the answer they are looking for or they think she is mad. Either method seems to work. I haven’t tried this technique yet but it looks like there might be some merit to it…
We were commissioned to produce a 1m x 1m canvas for a very discerning and influential couple for their new house (seriously, they’re the power couple behind one of the UK’s biggest soaps). The canvas was to be based on the song ‘Strawberry Letter 23’ by Shuggie Otis. It’s a great song and you really should give it a listen. With such fine pedigree to work with we knocked out some designs lickety-split and that was when it all really began…
This large commission now has the dubious distinction of being the picture that has taken the longest time from conception to completion than anything else we’ve ever produced. We’re talking well over a year. When it was finally deemed complete my relief was palpable.
She’s on a 1m x 1m canvas and has been painted using all the paint we could find seemingly. She’s now safely ensconced in her new home in sunny Manchester. Let’s all wish her luck…