Mathilda had been staring at the ceiling of her bedroom for the last 17 hours straight. She wasn’t incapacitated or ill or bed bound however. She was, in fact, trying to ‘touch the void’ – a place apparently outside the framework of space and time as we understand it. She had read about it on a lifestyle influencer’s post on Instagram which had a picture of them sitting on a lone rock in some holistic yoga position with a few emojis thrown over the top. And that
post had over 11 thousand likes.
Eventually she gave up because she was hungry. As she wolfed down the eggs on toast she wondered if the influencer had ever really touched the void or was actually just making it all up. Whilst she was thinking she was also watching a Trump coronavirus press conference and came to the sudden conclusion that was all she really needed to connect with the bleak desolation of the void. It turned out it was pretty easy after all.
It is A2 in size and made using acrylic, spray paint, oil pastel and paint pen.
FINALLY! After days of waiting it’s finally arrived. My official bottle of Trump Medical Injectable Bleach! You know it’s good when it features one of my favourite quotes from the big man himself “I’m not a doctor but i’m like a person that has good ‘you know what” We know you do big fella. Trust us, we know.
In just the days it’s taken to move from unsubstantiated claim into production they’ve even managed to cram in ‘added heat and light’ and we all know that can only be a good thing when combatting viruses. It even works in under a New York minute. Now that’s speedy. Where’s my hypodermic? If you want to use it after just let me know…
Here I have paraphrased Jean-Paul Satre because in his play Huis Clos, or No Exit, he doesn’t actually mean people are the absolute worst when one of the characters says “L’enfer, c’est les autres” but in this case that is exactly what I mean.
There I was going on my first excursion outside in about 5 days due to the fact that I have underlying conditions. The sun was out, the breeze whipping through my wispy geography teacher style hair (cheers lockdown!) when I noticed the first idiot coming for me.
It was a middle aged woman who for some unknown reason crossed the road and walked straight towards me. Not 2 metres in front or behind me but exactly to my location. Luckily for the lady, I didn’t have The Answerer with me, a hefty blackthorn staff blessed by the gods who just loves being used to beat the stupid out of people especially when they don’t adhere to scientific recommendations. Think Thor’s hammers Mjolnir or Stormbreaker but instead of the unworthy not being able to pick up the weapon, the unworthy get a knock upside their head in the hopes it might shake loose some intelligence….
It is A2 in size and made using pencil, watercolour, acrylic and spray paint
Well good morning there! If you tuned in yesterday you’ll know we had the first part of a triptych featuring a lady escaping reality using the power of music.
Today we have the second part – ‘We ride at dawn’ – featuring someone else trying to escape the reality of the coronavirus. Rather than music however this gentleman has donned his historical war outifit, picked up his AR15 and then gone to protest (against a virus!) on the streets alongside hundreds of other like minded citizens. They are convinced it’s all ‘fake news’ and seem to be on the verge of taking the law into their own hands. Their motto is clear…
We’ve got to get through this somehow. I’m just not sure armed insurgency is really the way forward.
Things have been getting a little weird since lockdown. The intense boredom and general anxiety mix together in some odd combinations. In order to combat this I thought a self-portrait may be in order. I was wrong.
Looking at the paper in front of me I saw myself staring back or at least some facsimile of me – but things just weren’t quite right. The head too elongated, the nose too small but the dead, lifeless eyes I seemed to have got just right.
Then I realised it wasn’t really me but that unflinching dolt High Risk Hugo. A stain on society if ever I saw one. A man who on his good days was more like Chuck Norris on flakka trying to chat up your girlfriend but on his bad days the social equivalent of someone slipping a dead slug in your mouth and holding it shut.
I’ll not be doing another selfie anytime soon. We don’t need to let that particular cat out of the bag…
‘No, it’s more like fucking groundhog day!’ I hear you scream from behind your screens and I have to admit that’s a sentiment that I hold myself but sometimes those massive grey clouds clear from across your minds-eye and you start to see things with a new perspective.
With this picture, the clouds only parted long enough for me to finish it before those ……… thoughts started to creep back in So much so that I was poised with a spray can hovering across this piece ready to deface it because I no longer felt the sentiment it suggested. It’s all swings and roundabouts I suppose…
In some deranged effort to exorcise all the coronavirus news that I’m constantly being bombarded with I thought perhaps the best way was to create a Covid Colouring Book with some of the many and varied things we’ve learned. Why? Well, because it seems we won’t have any paying work for the foreseeable and I’m not meant to leave the house so why not? It’s kept me amused for a number of hours thus far so it’s got that going for it at least. If you actually want to download them for colouring then drop us a line or do your best with some low-res download.
Bored of waiting for coronavirus to come to you? Well now you don’t have to. Corona have bowed to the inevitable and teamed up with the world renowned creators of Covid 19 to bring you this zesty and infectious small batch artisanal version of their classic brew. Great for 14 day mini breaks at home or abroad.
I’ve been trying to resist the obvious Corona label update but temptation finally got the better of me. C’mon ‘zesty notes which are enhanced by adding a wedge of lime.’ is just not going to cut it with today’s hyper paranoid world view where the beer Corona has somehow been inextricably linked to a global pandemic. So i’ve fixed that at least.
The news has a lot to answer for. Usually I’ll wake up with a random song playing in my mind. Yesterday however I woke up from a dream where I was tour manager for Covid 19 and was setting up their world tour alongside Corona Virus. Being the imaginary hard metal bands that they are we needed some appropriate imagery so rather than do anything constructive with my day I did a quick internet search to check no such frippery already existed then set to work designing their poster.
Weirdly, it turns out that most world tour posters seem to have a dark background with white text but that was definitely the look Covid 19 would go for. Once I’d put the poster together I thought the Muse would be done with me but, no, it was time to move onto merch design. After slapping the various logos onto a t shirt template I was finally allowed to stop. And this is what we’re left with. Being an artist is weird.
Karen had never even been anywhere near China. The closest she’d come was the china Wedgewood plate set that had been given her by her aunt and she’d disinfected the whole set just to be sure as soon as the whole Coronavirus thing had started in China. She’d been fretting for days. She’d even made her son burn his entire collection of Wu Tang Clan music and memorabilia to be on the safe side because it sounds a bit like Wuhan. Yet, when she looked in the mirror she knew something wasn’t right. Despite all her precautions, it would appear she’d come down with something after all…
It is A2 in size and made using gouache, acrylic, oil pastel, googly eyes and a touch of imagination.