No Wi-fi – No Gods – No Masters

It’s been a tough year all round. George here used to be like you and I until the pandemic crept up on us. Now he lives by different rules. He’d had enough of the 5g covid pigeons, maskers, vaxxers, people who didn’t like electro swing and, most importantly, people who didn’t believe in the new messiah Donald J Trump. After that it was all too easy for George to leave society behind.

So he decided to prepare for the future he knew was coming. George found a bit of land in the most remote part of the planet possible. He didn’t pick Hawaii or New Zealand though as he thought Bill Gates might have a compound there like all the other tech CEO’s. He picked the Pitcairn Islands as they were giving away free land to entice new community members (he should probably have looked into why) and he needed as much money as possible to build the treehouse he had planned so he could live in solitude amongst nature. Now he sits alone in his treehouse amongst the birds. No wi-fi – No gods – No masters. Although he did wish he’d brought a bit more food with him as he only had one Chewit left…

Cheers

id-iom

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Vacant obscurity

With lockdown 3.0 thrust upon us all by the powers that be Timothy is starting to feel strange. He thought all this would be over by now, that the world would be back to normal, that he could leave the oppressive flat he has been in for what seems like forever. That is not the case though sadly, instead, Timothy has had to occupy himself for close to a year and things are now starting to get weird.

He’s tuned one of his eyes to pick up QAnon conspiracies using the 5g microchip that Bill gates implanted using the covid radiating pigeons.The other he uses to watch reruns of short-lived musical police drama ‘Cop Rock’ on repeat. Between both eyes he feels like he has reached peak cognitive dissonance. This has led Timothy into a state of what he likes to call ‘vacant obscurity’. He’ll likely be this way until March…

It is A4 and made using acrylic, oil pastel and paint pen. Drop us a line if you need him to adorn some uninspiring wall…

Cheers

id-iom

id-iom’s top album challenge (imaginary edition)

We have accepted a challenge to post ten imaginary albums that we love – one album per post, no explanations, no reviews – just covers.

Let’s promote the love of imaginary music.

Trump Medical – Injectable Bleach

FINALLY! After days of waiting it’s finally arrived. My official bottle of Trump Medical Injectable Bleach! You know it’s good when it features one of my favourite quotes from the big man himself “I’m not a doctor but i’m like a person that has good ‘you know what” We know you do big fella. Trust us, we know. 

In just the days it’s taken to move from unsubstantiated claim into production they’ve even managed to cram in ‘added heat and light’ and we all know that can only be a good thing when combatting viruses. It even works in under a New York minute. Now that’s speedy. Where’s my hypodermic? If you want to use it after just let me know…

Cheers

id-iom

Hell IS other people

Here I have paraphrased Jean-Paul Satre because in his play Huis Clos, or No Exit, he doesn’t actually mean people are the absolute worst when one of the characters says “L’enfer, c’est les autres” but in this case that is exactly what I mean.

There I was going on my first excursion outside in about 5 days due to the fact that I have underlying conditions. The sun was out, the breeze whipping through my wispy geography teacher style hair (cheers lockdown!) when I noticed the first idiot coming for me. 

It was a middle aged woman who for some unknown reason crossed the road and walked straight towards me. Not 2 metres in front or behind me but exactly to my location. Luckily for the lady, I didn’t have The Answerer with me, a hefty blackthorn staff blessed by the gods who just loves being used to beat the stupid out of people especially when they don’t adhere to scientific recommendations. Think Thor’s hammers Mjolnir or Stormbreaker but instead of the unworthy not being able to pick up the weapon, the unworthy get a knock upside their head in the hopes it might shake loose some intelligence….

It is A2 in size and made using pencil, watercolour, acrylic and spray paint

Cheers

id-iom

Covid Colouring Book

In some deranged effort to exorcise all the coronavirus news that I’m constantly being bombarded with I thought perhaps the best way was to create a Covid Colouring Book with some of the many and varied things we’ve learned. Why? Well, because it seems we won’t have any paying work for the foreseeable and I’m not meant to leave the house so why not? It’s kept me amused for a number of hours thus far so it’s got that going for it at least. If you actually want to download them for colouring then drop us a line or do your best with some low-res download. 

Cheers

id-iom