Phil Collins – No Context Required (Shabby Europe edition)

I thought I’d managed to exorcise Phil Collins from my thoughts at least temporarily but today’s piece just couldn’t help itself. Today I’m juxtaposing Phil’s out of context quote which reveals that it wasn’t 5 star all the way when touring in Europe with his band with a ciggy smoking Hamar tribeswoman against. I’m assuming this quote was probably some time in the 80’s. You may have been down but you were never out Phil.

Once you’ve liberally sprinkled in  a couple of pilfered logos in and given it a pink and white background then you’re good to go with another successful ‘No context required’ piece. It’s laser engraved on wood then hand painted and stands proud at 39 x 26cm. Drop us a line if you’re interested…

Cheers

id-iom

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Mr. Mayhem

Lord knows I love an ambigram (a word which can be read upside down).  I think I’m somewhat obsessed with them if the truth be told. I’ll shoehorn one into any piece given half a chance. Anyway, I already digress. If you’ve seen Sons of Anarchy (which, if you’re unaware, is a series about gun-running biker gangs in California) then you’ll probably know that ‘meeting Mr. Mayhem’ is  a club euphemism for killing someone. If you haven’t then now you do.

Now, I’m certainly not advocating violence of any kind but it got me to thinking about Mr Mayhem as a kind of mysterious character rather than a euphemism. And here he is. Resplendent with his ‘Mayhem’ ambigram. To me he’s like a dapper English gent version of Winston Wolfe from Pulp Fiction. Except he puts people into sticky situations rather than helping them out.

He’s lasercut on wood then hand painted with the addition of crystal resin and is 39 x 27cm in size. Drop us a line if interested. As a side note I was considering mentioning the documentary ‘All This Mayhem’ somehow but failed to fit it in. If you haven’t seen it then you should. It starts off as one thing and ends as quite another.

Cheers

id-iom

I know words. I have the best words.

Sometimes Donald Trump is difficult to ignore. Not only is he President of the USA but he loves to tweet like a madman on ephedrine. He’s come out with many cromulent quotes designed to embiggen his own reputation and has even delved into the world of neology with such memorable words as ‘schlonged’ and, of course, ‘covfefe’, which is admittedly probably a typo but when you’re President you’ve got to watch our for such things as spelling.

Once you combine this with his opulent orange permatan, luxurious thatch of downy hair and tiny hands then you’ve definitely got a character worthy of some id-iom attention. The main quote used was from 2013 Twitter tirade and is, of course, about the man himself but I had to incorporate my second favourite quote ‘I know words. I have the best words’ which really elaborates on his eloquence.

He’s lasercut on wood then lovingly hand painted. As it’s the Trumpster I saw fit to include some gold paint, silver leaf, sequins, crystal resin and some pilfered logos. And there you have it. Drop us a line if interested.

Cheers

id-iom

Feeling tired and emotional?

With today’s hectic lifestyle it’s no wonder we sometimes feel like we need to crawl into a nice dark cave for a couple of months just to escape a constant barrage of Facebook updates. For times like that I’ve come up with an advertisement for a (currently) fictional drink. I’m now just waiting for Red Bull to knock on my door to buy the rights.

I would imagine the drink to be something along the lines of an alcoholic power drink (do they even exist?) to be consumed when life conspires against you. A little something that would definitely separate the men from the boys. The online and TV advertising would feature an accompanying soundtrack of a dubstep version of Billy Ocean’s 1985 hit ‘When the going gets tough’ followed by the tagline of ‘Feeling tired and emotional? Try a can of Man The Fuck Up!’ read by James Earl Jones. And that would be that. I just wonder what a can of Man Up would actually tastes like although I’m not sure it would really matter.

It’s laser cut on wood and then hand painted and even has a little crystal resin on the can to make it look like condensation as if the can is nicely chilled. Drop us a line if interested.

Cheers

id-iom

Get the London look…

According to a December 2016 Telegraph article London is the cocaine capital of Europe – but only during the week. Apparently we come second to Antwerp when you add in weekend usage. It seems we like to lay off a bit on the week as we’ve been hitting it a bit hard during the week. Go figure.

Anyway that allows me to segue nicely into today’s piece featuring a young lady doing her bit to get us back to top place. It’s laser cut on wood then hand painted and features Revlon’s snappy marketing line that fits so nicely and a little snippet from Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five’s ‘White Lines’. Once you’ve added a bit of crystal resin with some diamond dust glitter in then you’re good to go with another certified id-iom piece.

She’d look great once framed. Drop us a line if you’re interested.

Cheers

id-iom

Vampire midwinter

Summer solstice is here again. Which is a good time for us humans with those long summery days but think about the poor vampires. This proud vampire lady has been reduced to taking twice daily cold blood showers in her dark and dank underground mausoleum. She hasn’t left for weeks and probably won’t for some time to come. Her neighbours think she’s off in the Caribbean for summertime – as always. In reality she’s been subsisting on a diet of fresh meat delivered by Waitrose and illegally streaming Netflix over her neighbours wifi. Even one minute in those glorious summer rays would reduce her to a pile of ash. Spare a thought.

She’s lasercut on wood at 39 x 26cm and then handpainted. Once you’ve added some crystal resin to represent the cold blood showers and a few little bats to represent her cheeky take on vampire home decor and you’ve got another successful id-iom piece. Drop us a line if interested…

Cheers

id-iom

God save the Queen

For this commission the only instruction I was given was ‘bees’. Now that is the kind of commission I like. And this is what you get. A dwindling global bee population can only be bad news for puny humans as the bees pollinate an awful lot of the crops and flowers that we depend on for food. Without them we are somewhat doomed so it’s probably best if we take a bit better care of our little insect cousins and make sure they can continue doing their job. And, as a big bonus, they also know how to make honey (which the crystal resin on the picture is meant to represent). Without that we’d be left with wasp gravy and you wouldn’t want that on your morning toast.

Cheers

id-iom

Pocket size Emma Willis

Sometimes, when I’m feeling a little low, I imagine a small, pocket-sized Emma Willis giving me a big thumbs up and suddenly everything is better. Once I make this product a commercial reality I think the world will be a more harmonious place. Just make sure you read the instructions first. It can be tricky to get the settings right.

Today’s crystal resin on the piece represents the idea that ‘into each life some rain must fall’ – and pocket size Emma Willis is here to buck you up when that rain does, inevitably, fall.

Cheers

id-iom

Mama never said it’d be easy

There are many truisms in life. That is to say a statment that is obviously true and says nothing new or interesting. People spout them all the time like some kind of mantra. Something like ‘You’ll never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have’ or ‘nothing is black and white’ are the kind of things that spring to mind. ‘Mama never said it would be easy’ surely fits along the same lines but it’s a fair bit snappier than most and to be pulled out in times of hardship with a wry smile on your face – assumably just before someone else tells you to shut your cakehole.

Anyway, you might be thinking that the above would be reason enough for today’s piece. But no. We used to have a jacket with ‘Mama never said it would be easy’ on the back and for some reason that somewhat useless phrase has stuck with me. Now maybe I’ve done a piece featuring the phrase perhaps it can now just leave me alone and not spring into my mind at inopportune times…

As with all the pieces I’ve been doing recently he’s a bit of mixed media magic featuring some spraypaint, crystal resin, dymo tape and whatever else I was using.

Cheers

id-iom

Electric Blue

Today’s write up is probably going to be somewhat opaque but sometimes that works best. If you’re not familiar with Electric Blue then it’s probably better it stays that way. If, however, you’re a gentleman of a certain age you will probably know what I’m referring to. This piece is a special commission for a good friend of id-iom’s. And when I say special commission I mean that he doesn’t know it’s on his way to him so hopefully he’ll appreciate it. It’s basically a very roundabout reference to an old shared joke that would shame even the stoutest of hearts and is by no means fit for retelling in such august company. It even comes complete with crystal resin drips that are perhaps reminiscent of something else. Or maybe that’s just me. Anyway, it is what it is…

Cheers

id-iom