Sometimes in life we end up being the person that everyone else wants us to be and then sometimes, just sometimes we manage to transform into the person we wanted to be through a combination of determination and good luck.
Take this girl as a case in point. She used to be a straight A choir girl who read books on advanced maths in her spare time just for a laugh – but then one day things changed. The day in question is a little tough for me to talk about though as I was there in person and can’t really say any more until the current court proceedings are over. What I can say though is that it involved plenty of alcohol, copious amounts of drugs, numerous firearms, a small amount of explosive and, of course, one of the cutest kittens I have ever come across. Well, one thing led to another and the woman we have before us today was forged in that crucible of fire – a crazy cross between a Robin Hood, Major Disaster and an American Apparel model. Who would ever have guessed? That’s all I’m legally allowed to say for now…