I struck up a conversation the other day with a man who had more than a passing resemblance to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I have enough tact not to start a conversation with such a glaring statement but the similarities between them were uncanny with the same large red nose, massive teeth and incredibly long face. To tell you the truth it looked like one of the plastic joke ones given out for Comic Relief but, of course, I didn’t say that either. Instead I struck up a conversation about O’Neill cylinders in an attempt to bamboozle him, hopefully leading to a mild sense of confusion so that he would lower his defences and I could hopefully find out if he was actually somehow related to the famous reindeer.
I won’t bore you with the ensuing small talk but I did eventually find out that his name was Rosacea the red nosed human and he came to have such a big red nose due to a chance meeting he once had with a drunk fairy who thought it would be funny to make a human version of Rudolph. Over the years Rosacea hasn’t found it that amusing however…
You’re probably not going to believe me but Gregor here used to be a top influencer on Instagram for this stunning good looks and perfect quiff but things have begun to go downhill rather rapidly for him.
It all started innocently enough. Gregor was studiously going through his daily beauty regime and was plucking a rogue nostril hair when he caught his own eye in the mirror. Taken as he was with his own reflection he gave himself a cheeky wink and it all escalated from there. Now he only has time for his own reflection. He’s given up posting on Instagram but sits staring at himself for hours on end. He will occasionally smile or wink at himself while he whispers unintelligibly into the mirror. What will come of him I hear you ask? Well if you know anything of Greek mythology then you’ll know that the story of Narcissus doesn’t end well for the person concerned…
On A4 and made using Charcoal, pencil, paint pen and acrylic, drop us a line if interested.
Whilst painting I managed to spill my cup of tea. Usually a catastrophe of such proportions would cause me to curl up in the fetal position and start crying over the waste of such lovely nectar. This time however, before my tear ducts could react, I saw something in the spill.
Before I knew it the Muse was upon me and I searched frantically for a pencil lest my creative urge abandoned me. After about a long minute of searching I found one behind my ear (damn those days spent on building sites) now all I had to do was a few quick lines and the Muse disappeared to relieve Molly Quirke (age 9) of a small case of creative block related to drawing a horse.
Michael can’t really remember his mother as she left when he was young to become a trapeze artist for the travelling circus that had been visiting town. He can still remember her last words to him though which were ‘It will never be easy’ and he has taken those words and turned them in to a matra which he uses when things in his life are starting to go a little out of control. So now when things start to go wrong he calmly closes his eyes and repeats the mantra over and over again.
It’s not entirely clear how but it has apparently got him out of some pretty serious situations like when he was arrested for trying to swim the English Channel with only one flipper and a tin box full of aggressive fruit flies which just kept flying in to his eyes. Needless to say the Coast Guard was called as he had managed to cross into the shipping lanes which meant many boats were told to steer clear causing major havoc at ports throughout the EU. All in all that little escapade cost the British taxpayer something in the region of £4.7 million. And he never even got prosecuted. Made using the magic of imagination, acrylic, paint pen, watercolour, pastel and gold leaf on A4 paper.
We haven’t seen one of the spheres out and about in a while. This one seems to have taken an intense interest in this young lady’s rainbow coloured hair and has been following her around for days now. Quite what it’s doing is entirely unknown.
Whilst most people may be a little concerned that a ominous orb has been shadowing their every move Emilia here doesn’t mind so much as it looks great as a mysterious background for her Instagram pictures. She’s been gaining followers at quite a rate but she has been having some rather odd thoughts of late…
She’s on a 40cm wide circular canvas board and was made using the magic of acrylic paint pouring, a touch of manual dexterity, some imagination, stencils and spray paint. She’s available to be rehomed so drop us a line if you’d like her to live with you…
This poor soul has the misfortune of being a descendant of some pretty interesting people. So many of them in fact that it he has acquired a set of superpowers, well, sort of.
First of all he is said to be descended from Coeus one of the titans of greek mythology who was the Titan of intellect, the axis of heaven around which the constellations revolved and probably of heavenly oracles to boot. Now that’s not a bad start when looking at one branch of the family tree. Later Franz Mesmer the man credited with creating hypnotism was married to one of his relatives. And nearly up to present day there is of course ‘The great Otto’ who certainly isn’t great and not even a very good hypnotist but he did, of course, have a stage presence to rival that of Beyonce.
This kind of lineage has given poor Manfred here a set of skills that only someone with his inherited genetic code could have but also a set of skills that he certainly didn’t want. He can’t even so much as glance at another person before knowing all their secret desires and dark thoughts. Which can get pretty tiresome.
It is A4 in size and made using the magic of inspiration, acrylic, watercolour and paint pen. Get in touch if you would like to give it a new home….
Sometimes it’s difficult to know where inspiration comes from. Was I listening to Joy Division’s ‘Love will tear us apart’ when I came up with this design? Or did I come up with it independently as it seemed fitting for the design? I really couldn’t tell you.
I can tell you however that the Joy Division version was released in June 1980. Apparently the lyrics were inspired by lead singer Ian Curtis’ marriage problems and frame of mind before his suicide in May 1980. Which is really quite sad all things considered. I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this so maybe best just to leave the rest to you.
They’re on A2 paper and are made using the magic of spraypaint, stencils and imagination. They’re £130 each if anyone wants to give either a new home.