The inevitable wrath of Storm Bird

Well, well, well. Look who’s shown their face after all this time. Storm Bird is back and is angrier than ever. You may recognise the feisty little redbreast from short films such as Storm Bird (Dave’s remix). 

With the very recent reintroduction of sunshine, I decided to do a bit of gardening to try and alleviate the relentless monotony induced by having to stay indoors all the time. Gardening has never been my strong suit and Storm Bird was more than happy to point out every single one of my glaring mistakes. 

First, the worms weren’t fat enough and that was my fault for not feeding them sufficiently. Then the caterpillar turned out to be poisonous and how dare I try and get the mighty Storm Bird to eat tainted food? The list of my errors went on and on and on.

For 5 hours straight whilst I was toiling away in the garden I had Storm Bird continuously berate me for a myriad of different things including (but not limited to): being too slow, being too fast, not admiring his golden red plumage enough, staring at him too much, not listening, making too many cups of tea, interacting with the neighbours and pretty much a constant barrage of insults regarding my hairstyle. Really quite uncalled for if I say so myself.

She’s A2 in size and on high quality Bockingford paper and made using the magic of imagination, acrylic, spray paint, paint pen and watercolour. That’s about all I can give you on this one…

Cheers

id-iom

Advertisement

A new lick of paint

So whilst over excitedly painting I managed to get a bit of spray paint on to some of the other half of id-iom’s girlfriends garden furniture. Not sure what to do I started to try and colour match the furniture with the spray paint I had at hand but to no avail. After a few minutes of panic, I decided to come clean and admit my mistake. Luckily I was told that the garden furniture was on its third or fourth repaint and that to solve the problem all it needed was a new coat of something spiffy for summer 2020. After a quick clean, some new colours were decided upon and hey presto something old looks new. Shame about the layabout who wouldn’t get out of the photo mind…

Cheers

id-iom

Phase 1 complete.

Would you adam and eve it? In between dodging rain showers I have actually managed to make some progress this week. That’s the first part of our patented 3-in-1 portrait done and dusted.

I did ask my cousin, whom the portrait is of, what colours he liked and didn’t like. He said he’d think about it and get back. He didn’t. I went off piste. This is the result. Now to apply some tape and redo the whole thing for stage 2… 

Cheers

id-iom

Pucker up buttercup

Things are weird. So we’ve decided to get a little weirder too. Here we have Mabel and Neil on their third date. Things seem to be going swimmingly thank you very much. They are, obviously, buttercups but they had taken a wrong turn at some point during their promenade and now find themselves in a part of the garden they don’t know so well. The blue Himalayan poppies seem larger than Neil remembers and they seem to be looming awfully close too. How on earth does Neil extricate himself and Mabel from this potentially sticky situation with his honour intact? Well, frankly, that’s what your imagination is for. So just make up the rest yourself. 

It is A2 in size and made using the magic of imagination, acrylic, spray paint and gouache.

Cheers

id-iom

Afrofunk album of the year?

You’ll be glad to know I prevailed in the mexican standoff with Patrick here. His phone rang. I signalled with my eyes that it would be cool to take the call. He wandered off to take said call and I struck. Hitting the wall with what I imagined to be the cover of Patrick’s newest imaginary Afrofunk single. Straight from the mean streets of Mombasa and fresh from his new collaboration album with Seun Kuti and Staff Benda Bilili. You’ll also be glad to hear it’s shooting up the imaginary Afrofunk charts as I write. Life can be sweet, even in these dark times…

Cheers

id-iom 

Throw us a bone Pat…

Whilst Patrick here has been really most helpful in getting him to this stage he resolutely refuses to communicate anything about his preferences for a background so we’re currently engaging in the artistic version of a mexican standoff. Who will prevail?

Cheers

id-iom

Impasse

Well, it turns out that we’ve reached something of an impasse with Patrick here. It’s been a rocky road to get this far and now the way forward is unsure. I had even less skin tone colours than last time but am quite pleased with the eventual outcome – especially the nose. The problem is background. And there is currently no resolution in sight. 

It would seem the muse has slipped off to provide inspiration to some other struggling artist. The best I can currently come up with is something Tiger King related but that just feels like I’m jumping on the bandwagon. We’ll just have to see if that’s the best I can do. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion of the second series of ‘Painting in my garden’…

Cheers

id-iom

Look what happened to the last guy…

The subject of our last mural, Marcus, didn’t obey social distancing rules and so had to be whitewashed. Let’s just hope our new subject is a little more responsible.

I’m beginning to wonder how many garden murals I’ll get through before all this blows over…

Cheers

id-iom

Lady Garden

Ladies and Gentleman may I present to you this season’s newest debutante – Lady Rosamund Garden of Brixistane. Lady Garden can be seen hanging out at all the finest soirees and elite celebrity events. She’s even been spotted on the catwalk at London Fashion Week.

We haven’t done much outdoor work yet this year so thought it best to remedy that with a quick paint in the yard to acclimatise ourselves to the brutal February conditions. Lady Rosamund Garden is the dubious result. She has poetry in her hair and a little bird that roosts in her elaborate floral headpiece. Whatever will she turn into next?

Cheers

id-iom

In the night garden

Fuck street art. Garden art is where it’s at these days. The natural setting lends the picture a certain vitality and gives a more vibrant and natural look. This little lady may eventually end up on the street if I can find somewhere suitable for her to be deposited but I thought something a little more classy would be better for her first foray onto the internet. Well, it’s either that or perhaps I’m just lazy and can’t currently be bothered trying to find a suitable location that isn’t in the garden. Whatever you think I’m going with the first description as the story I’m sticking to…

On a side not I’m not entirely sure why I decided to colour her in blue but I think the avatar look suits her quite nicely. Either that or she’s a rather human looking relative of Igglepiggle from ‘In the Night Garden’. Which would be weird. Oh well, onwards and upwards. What’s next?

Cheers

id-iom