Simply this piece is about the time a woman came up to me to tell me I had an easily forgettable face, the absolute cheek of it. I demanded to know what made her think such a thing.That was a mistake as she then proceeded to list numerous things that she deemed led her to the belief that my face was forgettable. I stood there for 45 mins before she came to the end of her rant. I just didn’t know that someone could berate you for your facial features or lack thereof for so long. Luckily I had my phone out at the time as I was using it to transcribe some of my musings and managed to get nearly 976 well thought out insults that I can now use in any situation. Lets just hope no one on twitter gets on the wrong side of me, otherwise the list is coming out…
Well, well, well. Look who’s shown their face after all this time. Storm Bird is back and is angrier than ever. You may recognise the feisty little redbreast from short films such as Storm Bird (Dave’s remix).
With the very recent reintroduction of sunshine, I decided to do a bit of gardening to try and alleviate the relentless monotony induced by having to stay indoors all the time. Gardening has never been my strong suit and Storm Bird was more than happy to point out every single one of my glaring mistakes.
First, the worms weren’t fat enough and that was my fault for not feeding them sufficiently. Then the caterpillar turned out to be poisonous and how dare I try and get the mighty Storm Bird to eat tainted food? The list of my errors went on and on and on.
For 5 hours straight whilst I was toiling away in the garden I had Storm Bird continuously berate me for a myriad of different things including (but not limited to): being too slow, being too fast, not admiring his golden red plumage enough, staring at him too much, not listening, making too many cups of tea, interacting with the neighbours and pretty much a constant barrage of insults regarding my hairstyle. Really quite uncalled for if I say so myself.
She’s A2 in size and on high quality Bockingford paper and made using the magic of imagination, acrylic, spray paint, paint pen and watercolour. That’s about all I can give you on this one…
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