Tag Archives: king

The ASBO King

Today on eBay is ‘The ASBO King’. Click the link below to check it on eBay:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/392175641406

This kid has had 13 ASBO’s slapped on him this month – and it’s only the 18th of November! He just doesn’t care and it seems he’s collecting ASBO’s like they are going out of fashion. So far he’s had them for the following (amongst others as yet unspecified):

littering and dumping rubbish outside his local dry cleaners (apparently related to his misuse of the fabric softener)

A constant misuse of fireworks (including using them late at night)

Shouting and noisy behaviour in places where this might be annoying or upsetting (e.g. outside someone’s house). This I have a personal experience of.

Using rude, abusive or insulting language to pretty much anyone especially the old or infirm.

Threatening behaviour or bullying – including on the internet, mobile phones or other electronic media (whatever you do don’t let him borrow your phone or laptop).

Uncontrolled and dangerous animals – he has 3 feral rabid rabbits that he takes with him everywhere

Joyriding or using vehicles in an anti social manner (for example blocking access, noisy radios, wheel spinning); abandoning a vehicle – he especially likes pulling donuts at traffic lights.

Excessively drinking alcohol, alcohol related trouble or buying and selling drugs in the street – yes to all above.

Begging – he has such a sweet face (not).

As you can see he’s already got a tattoo of this achievement definitely making him the ASBO king and probably not an ideal next door neighbour.

Cheers

id-iom

Title: The ASBO King
Media: Acrylic, pastel and paint pen
Size: A4

Advertisements

Comments Off on The ASBO King

Filed under art, Demolition Sale!, funny, mixed media, Painting, products

As the crow dies

First up this week on eBay is ‘As the crow dies’. Click the link below to check it on eBay:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/392171244205

The years had passed slowly since the dark times at the Feast of McDonald’s. The war with the gulls was now over – with untold casualties on both sides – but the realm as a whole had survived and had now seen peace for a good while under his rule. Seismic changes were already in motion though as the King of the Corvidae had cawed for the very last time. The gears of war were turning once more. The corvidae needed to appoint a new king who could shoulder the mighty burden set before him.

For most the only real potential successor was Belasko. He had proved his mettle many times before both in battle and in diplomacy but he was getting on a little in age. The majority of his potential subjects didn’t really consider this a problem but he was deeply worried about his suitability for the role. He was a soldier, not a leader, as he kept telling himself and the many worried councillors that were scurrying around him but the more he brought this point up the more everyone got excited.

He knew in his heart that the Corvidae required another type of leader, one that was not drenched in blood and tied to the past like himself. At the same time he realised the tide of history may just carry him along regardless. This would require some machavellian dexterity he wasn’t sure he still possessed. He would certainly have to ruffle some feathers and didn’t have much time to lose but he had been in this game long enough to know that if he played his cards just right he might just be able to select the right bird for the job…

If you like this then you’ll be glad to know we’ve got previous in the world of crow related art. It is, in fact, a sequel to an earlier piece called King of the Corvidae.

Cheers

id-iom

Title: As the crow dies
Media: Ink, acrylic and paint pen
Size: A4

Comments Off on As the crow dies

Filed under art, Demolition Sale!, mixed media, Painting, products

Four King Hell

Due to incestuous breeding practices between many of the European royal houses over the last few centuries, poor Otto here has an unprecedented cross to bear which could have only come about due to these bizarre and ultimately unhealthy practises.

The problem arises due to the fact that poor Otto is now the king of four different European countries. Don’t ask me how this happened but I believe it has something to do with some arcane royal protocols that no one thought to have a look at and change.

If that wasn’t enough poor Otto was born with eyes that some in private circles have called bug-like and a head that is as flat as a tabletop. Now, this wouldn’t be too much of an issue apart from when it comes to making sure his crowns stay firmly in place…

It is painted on 60×60 cm canvas and made using the magic of inspiration, acrylic, pastel and spray paint. 

Cheers

id-iom

Comments Off on Four King Hell

Filed under art, Graffiti, mixed media, Painting, sketch, street art

Ozymandias: King of Kings

We here at id-iom seem to like Ramesses II or Ozymandias as the Greeks called him as this is our second picture based on one of the greatest pharaohs of the Egyptian Empire. This time I feel I should use the now famous words of Percy Shelley to describe the king of kings:

I met a traveller from an antique land,
Who said—“Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. . . . Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal, these words appear:
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

As a side note he lived till around the age of 90/91, most men don’t live that long nowadays and this was 1213 BC. Maybe there is hope for me then…

Cheers

id-iom

Comments Off on Ozymandias: King of Kings

Filed under art, Graffiti, mixed media, Painting

As the crow dies…

As the crow dies...

As the crow dies…

The years had  passed slowly since the dark times at the Feast of McDonald’s. The war with the gulls was now over – with untold casualties on both sides – but the realm as a whole had survived and had now seen peace for a good while under his rule. Seismic changes were already in motion though as the King of the Corvidae had cawed for the very last time. The gears of war were turning once more. The corvidae needed to appoint a new king who could shoulder the mighty burden set before him.

For most the only real potential successor was Belasko. He had proved his mettle many times before both in battle and in diplomacy but he was getting on a little in age. The majority of his potential subjects didn’t really consider this a problem but he was deeply worried about his suitability for the role. He was a soldier, not a leader, as he kept telling himself and the many worried councillors that were scurrying around him but the more he brought this point up the more eveyone got excited.

He knew in his heart that the Corvidae required another type of leader, one that was not drenched in blood and tied to the past like himself. At the same time he realised the tide of history may just carry him along regardless. This would require some machavellian dexterity he wasn’t sure he still possessed. He would certainly have to ruffle some feathers and didn’t have much time to lose but he had been in this game long enough to know that if he played his cards just right he might just be able to select the right bird for the job…

If you like this then you’ll be glad to know we’ve got previous in the world of crow related art. It is, in fact, a sequel to an earlier piece called King of the Corvidae.

Cheers

id-iom

Comments Off on As the crow dies…

Filed under art, Graffiti, Painting, sketch

King Chump

A few hundred years ago a chump was a thick lump of wood. Nowadays we know a chump to be someone who is foolish or easily deceived. Without too much imagination you can see how one meaning has morphed over time into the other.  The man in our picture is a chump. In fact he is the King Chump, Mr Mitchell T Lavin from Cincinnati, Ohio who originally sent the ‘chump’ ambigram used in this picture along to The Strand magazine in 1908 with the proviso:

‘I think it is the only word in the English language which has this peculiarity (being an ambigram that is), and therefore hope you will consider it worthy of insertion in your ‘Curiosities’ column’.

What a chump. You can make an ambigram out of practically any word. I should know. I love those suckers. On another note now I’ve got my hands on some marbling inks nothing can stop me! Instant backgrounds!

Cheers

id-iom

Comments Off on King Chump

Filed under art, Painting, products

The short lived reign of the blue faced bastard

The short lived reign of the blue faced bastard

The short lived reign of the blue faced bastard

Not all monarchs can be like Queen Elizabeth II who has just celebrated her 90th birthday and is now in to her 64th year as Queen. On the flip side of the coin is this true rapscallion of immense proportions – His self proclaimed royal highness Sir Asmund Quayle King of Mann. His reign only lasted for 3 days however until the appropriate authorities stepped in to apprehend him. He escaped, of course, but I’m sure that’s not the last we’ll hear of him.

The only thing left after the raid was this hastily drawn formal portrait of Sir Asmund painted on a cupboard door. If you happen to come across him in any of his numerous guises please be careful…

Cheers

id-iom

Comments Off on The short lived reign of the blue faced bastard

Filed under art, Graffiti, Painting, sketch, street art