Sandra was a decidedly modern woman. She knew exactly what she wanted in life and the best way to get it. She had started her makeup brand at age 18 and, over the next 7years, had parlayed that into The House of Ill Repute – a lifestyle brand that encompassed fashion, homewares, hotels, bars and plenty else in between.
Now she’s appearing on the cover of Vogue with the tagline ‘A Lady of Ill Repute’. The haters are gonna love that. But you can probably imagine what she thinks of them…
A Lady of Ill Repute is on classy A2 paper and has been made using the magic of acrylic, spraypaint, paint pen, charcoal, watercolour and imagination. She’s available to a good home so drop us a line or she’ll be on our new website soon – www.id-iom.com (link in bio).
Sometimes the write ups for our pictures suggest themselves. Sometimes the picture is driven by the write up. And sometimes the write up is nowhere to be seen. Today is one of those days. We’ve beaten the bushes and all we’ve come up with is some deleted intros and these perfunctory lines. I fear we may have to go back to write up school…
Anyway, let’s just get back to basics. What we do have is a classy looking lass on a messy (but hopefully pleasing) background. That much is for sure. Why we’ve painted her and what exactly she is doing there is entirely up for discussion. She’s definitely on A2 Bockingford paper with lovely rounded edges and is available to go to a good home. That is all we really definitely know. There’s a suspicion her name may be Eileen.
Kate here has been a bit depressed for the last few months. For the past 36 years (from the age of 10) she has been a world authority on the short-lived media franchise that was M.A.S.K. For the uninitiated, M.A.S.K was much like Transformers in so far that they were both an animated series and toy line. They even both featured transforming vehicles. And were also both keen marketing ploy’s by Kenner and Hasbro respectively.
Anyway, Kate is sad because until May this year she was living the impossible dream. M.A.S.K was, much like Transformers, due to hit the big screen and have a resurgence of interest. She’d even got a segment of the lyrics to the theme song tattooed on her buttock – ‘No one knows what lies behind the masquerades!’ – but then came the sad news that the project was getting shelved again. S.A.D.
To this day Kate wears her M.A.S.K branded eye mask to honour her heroes and dream of the movie franchise that is surely to be…
She’s on A4 made using watercolour, ink, acrylic, paint pen and pencil. Drop us a line if you’d like her on your wall…
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes they don’t. For Maggie here it’s definitely the latter. There she was watching Netflix late one night when she came across a dead pixel on her screen – or at least that’s what she thought it was.
After some intense experimental use of ayahuasca, however, Maggie now believes some parts of her face are teleported to the void and vice versa. She never knows when it’s going to happen but it’s always inconvenient. Missing parts of films at the cinema or conversations with potential suitors. It’s all rather embarrassing really.
I can attest to this because just as she was about to sit for her portrait for me some white shadowless void spots appeared on/in her face and stayed there until I’d finished. It really was very strange..
She’s on the finest a3 bockingford paper and has been lovingly handmade using the magic of acrylic and watercolour. If you’d like Maggie and the void for your wall just drop us a line.
Eva had quite a different lockdown to the rest of us. Rather than just collect her furlough money and play Xbox for months she decided to better herself. Through some decidedly dodgy forums she found a place in Russia that would help you to improve your mental skills in 3 months or your money back. And we’re not talking Sudoku or crosswords here we’re talking telepathy, psionic abilities and telekinesis.
Now she could move objects with her mind and bend others to her will and she was really quite looking forward to her upcoming chat with her boss about pay and a possible promotion…
In reality Eva has been languishing in development hell for the last 3 years. She was started and never completed until recently the Muse gave me the nod to get this Eva finished. The application of some gold, some wavy black lines and some carefully placed splodges of black ink was all it took but I’ve found it’s better not to rush these things.
We were commissioned to design and paint some wardrobe doors. Sounds simple enough. We had a fairly loose brief to create something in an Art Deco style. What we ended up with is something a little more Art Nouveau that is reversible and contains some elements specific to the client. The cornflower design in the middle is based on their family flower and the family motto of ‘Virtus, Vigor, Victoria’ is referenced in the the V’s emanating from the goblet the lady is carrying.
Painting and installing them brought some interesting challenges that were largely self inflicted but you live and learn. Well, we try to. There’s even a flash of bright pink painted on the inside of the doors that we couldn’t get a decent photo of but you’re going to have to trust me it’s there. Righto, what’s next?
Keen followers of id-iom will know that we like to put a little write up with our pieces. Today is no exception but it appears we’ve run into a small snag. Neither of us can seemingly come up with anything suitable for today’s decidedly lovely painting. She’s a wistful looking lady gazing off stage left. That much is for sure.
It’s usually quite obvious (to us at least) what the blurb will be. But not today. It’s veered from being related to the boredom of lockdown to living in a crashed space station to shouting at your own private parts. I wish I was making it up. Now, in the fruitless search for a write up, I’ve had to go all existential and write about my inability to come up with something to write about. Meta. Take from it all what you will…
If you’d like to give her a home drop us a line etc. It is A2 on high quality Bockingford paper and made using Acrylic, paint pen, watercolour pencil and spray paint.
Callie was old. Very old. Although she didn’t look it and woe betide anyone who didn’t appreciate her fair skin and face. She was also a sea witch which, if you consult your big book of mythology, are powerful and capricious beings. Offending a sea witch by such means as refusing to pay her for her services, insulting her looks, or refusing to acknowledge her powers could end in disaster as she might choose to destroy an entire ship if she so wishes.
On the other hand though they can help people out just because they feel like it too. I guess that’s the nature of being capricious. Just a few weeks ago she’d been fooling around in the Irish Sea when she came across a lone jet-skier getting knocked about in the frigid and choppy water on a roundabout course for the Isle of Man. One quick divination later and she knew he was to become the Jet-Ski Romeo. It had never been in her nature to defy the course of true love so she decided to assist his crossing. And that’s the only reason he made it. Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
On A4 made using acrylic, oil pastel and paint pen. Drop us a line if you’re interested in giving her a new home
The bird-like nest on top of Diane’s head is actually her hair after just 2 sips of white wine after work on a Thursday. She intends on doing the whole bottle. She knows she has work again tomorrow but she just doesn’t care. That’s working from home for you. She read online that she can now change her hairstyle digitally using the magical power of her computer. If she can only work out how it all works then her next Zoom call should prove a little more interesting and perhaps Phillip from Marketing might finally take some notice. If not she’s going to send him a virus from a made-up but believable email address and see how he likes that instead…
When someone asks you whether you want to pop out for a pint in these weird and testing times what is your answer? Judy here is trying her best to stick to government guidelines but she just doesn’t know anymore and that’s about pretty much everything.
What is the colour of your eyes? I don’t know. When is your birthday? Not sure. What is the colour of an orange? Pink? It’s all just a little too much for poor Judy. Her eyes are now just hollowed out depressions in the front of her face, her nose is as red as Rudolph’s and she hasn’t even had a drink in the last few weeks or at least she doesn’t think she has.
Judy has found the easiest way to answer questions nowadays is to just start replying with affirmative and negative interjections and other assorted phrases until people either get the answer they are looking for or they think she is mad. Either method seems to work. I haven’t tried this technique yet but it looks like there might be some merit to it…
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