The other half of id-iom told me just the other day that I should probably stop drawing men with big noses and I thought he was probably right as I have about 20 half-finished pictures sat around featuring men with big hooters. But then I did an about turn.
With inspiration running low and no idea of what to paint I was staring vacantly out the window when my eyes refocused – and what did I see but my own face complete with statuesque Roman nose staring back at me. That was enough to get the creative juices flowing, so I quickly set to work on my latest self portrait. Something I said I’d never do again after my last attempt which resulted in ‘High Risk Hugo’.
This time things haven’t gone much better, it would seem I still have a penchant for making my face look more like a horror movie monster than what I actually look like or perhaps all these months of lockdown have been getting to me.
Also I spent far too long painting the colours in the background but I guess I’ve had some time on my hands.
With lockdown 3.0 thrust upon us all by the powers that be Timothy is starting to feel strange. He thought all this would be over by now, that the world would be back to normal, that he could leave the oppressive flat he has been in for what seems like forever. That is not the case though sadly, instead, Timothy has had to occupy himself for close to a year and things are now starting to get weird.
He’s tuned one of his eyes to pick up QAnon conspiracies using the 5g microchip that Bill gates implanted using the covid radiating pigeons.The other he uses to watch reruns of short-lived musical police drama ‘Cop Rock’ on repeat. Between both eyes he feels like he has reached peak cognitive dissonance. This has led Timothy into a state of what he likes to call ‘vacant obscurity’. He’ll likely be this way until March…
It is A4 and made using acrylic, oil pastel and paint pen. Drop us a line if you need him to adorn some uninspiring wall…
I’m cautiously hoping it might well be about time we can dig our sign and ladder out and put them to some use as we get back to some sort of wall painting normality. It’s been fun painting my garden wall over lockdown and i’m sure there’s probably more to go but it would be good to spread the love and get to know some new walls too. Here’s to hoping…
Step 1! We can have lots of fun. Step 2! There’s so much we can do. So we’d best narrow our options and decide on the most time consuming course of action then step to it. To up the ante a little I decided to use three different tapes set at three different angles not knowing if the final result would be an insult to both vision and art. But life is an experiment so we forge ever onward.
As you have likely spotted from one of the work in progress shots the temperature has now officially reached high enough that I’ve had to revert to my 90’s rapper look just to stay cool. Time is a harsh mistress it’s true but stay tuned for tomorrow’s exciting reveal all the same…
Bonus fact: In case you didn’t notice I hit you with some New Kid On The Block lyrics right at the start of this post. So there.
It’s a slow and rainy day here at id-iom HQ so let’s play a game! Can you spot our work-shy head of Marketing and Customer Services Lillian? She’s been off purlough for a couple of days now and still refuses to do a stroke of work. She reckons she’s going to use this shot posing in front of our piece for her LinkedIn profile. When she finally gets round to checking her laptop that is…
This piece doesn’t quite seem as relevant now at this point in the pandemic than when I started it back in week 1 of lockdown – but given my busy schedule I’ve only now got round to completing it. We always knew it was going to happen, the old ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ adage, but seeing Cummings and the like actually flaunt the rules and then make up creative reasons why their actions were completely reasonable is easily enough to get our collective indignation bubbling away.
So, given a map of London I thought it might be good to put this notion in a more graphical manner so you can easily determine if you are one of the hoi polloi or if you meet the requirements to do whatever you want wherever you like with whomever you see fit.
id-iom does not bear any responsibility for the geographical accuracy of this map however so you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Step 1 – Find an old pencil sketch of Muhammad Ali that your dad did back in the 70’s in your auntie’s kitchen and decide that you want to do your own version of it. Attempt to find the reference photograph that he must have used but fail. #ali #muhammadali #mohammadali #mohammedali #stencil #art #contemporary #mural #paint #painting #wall #london #overcomplicated #sketch #70s #modern #street #urban #graffiti #lockdown #stepbystep #instructions It turns out Ali has been photographed thousands of times over the years and the internet is not particularly helpful when you can’t be very specific. No problem. You’ll just have to make the detail up yourself.
Step 2 – Using the arcane skills you’ve learned over the years turn the original sketch into a wall sized stencil and then apply to your wall in black. So far so good. This is easy.
Step 3 – After much deliberation about colour and the general direction you want the picture to take you decide on a nice bright red and go with the wallpaper with the hidden morse code message and sit back to admire your handiwork. You leave it overnight and decide to come back tomorrow to see if you’ve actually finished…
Step 4 – Have a harebrained idea about taking this piece next level by having it as three murals in one and then proceed to attempt to make this idea a reality. Constantly question whether it will work or just be an immense waste of your time. Add some detail to the hair area then try to take some classy shots. This could be as good as it gets. Really go for it and include the cat if you can and any other arty shots you can manage.
Step 5 – Apply tape to half the wall and then recolour the background in a vague approximation of the colours of the Islamic flag to denote his membership of the Nation of Islam in 1964 and his name change from Cassius Clay to Muhammad Ali. Your idea already sounds pretty highfalutin but you’ll go with it all the same.
Step 6 – Add some white to the background then, using your meagre skills at skin tone and having no reference pic to go from (other than the photo of your dad’s pencil sketch), colour the face in and try to make it look at least a little convincing. Hmmm. You’ll have to try a little harder than that.
Step 7 – Fuss around for ages trying to get the skin tone looking at least a bit more believable. That’s a bit better. Best to stop now before you go too far. Admire your handiwork and take another pic. That’s two murals down. There’s no turning back now.
Step 8 – It’s reveal time! Find the ends of the tape that you applied to the wall in Step 5 and yank that stuff straight off the wall. You’re now officially a performance artist.
The big reveal!
Step 9 – Now you get to see if your plan actually worked. Admire your handiwork and take a few more pics. Job done. Congratulations. Then it’s time to wonder if anyone has done this kind of thing before or if you’ve finally found your thing. Think about this for approximately five minutes before your attention is diverted by the next shiny idea to pass through your brain.
To occupy the time during lockdown Manana here has started taking suggestions off of the internet for what she should do to keep herself amused. She’s already completed Zelda on the Nintendo Switch, perfected the art of making croissants and somehow become an expert in the art of fly fishing although she hasn’t been near any open water since the start of January.
Today someone suggested she paint herself blue and post the results. I’m not quite sure what the person who suggested it gets out of it but Manana was game enough. The results speak for themselves. What on earth will tomorrow bring?
It is 37.5 cm x 37.5 cm on Bockingford paper and made using acrylic, spraypaint, paint pen and watercolour.
Here I have paraphrased Jean-Paul Satre because in his play Huis Clos, or No Exit, he doesn’t actually mean people are the absolute worst when one of the characters says “L’enfer, c’est les autres” but in this case that is exactly what I mean.
There I was going on my first excursion outside in about 5 days due to the fact that I have underlying conditions. The sun was out, the breeze whipping through my wispy geography teacher style hair (cheers lockdown!) when I noticed the first idiot coming for me.
It was a middle aged woman who for some unknown reason crossed the road and walked straight towards me. Not 2 metres in front or behind me but exactly to my location. Luckily for the lady, I didn’t have The Answerer with me, a hefty blackthorn staff blessed by the gods who just loves being used to beat the stupid out of people especially when they don’t adhere to scientific recommendations. Think Thor’s hammers Mjolnir or Stormbreaker but instead of the unworthy not being able to pick up the weapon, the unworthy get a knock upside their head in the hopes it might shake loose some intelligence….
It is A2 in size and made using pencil, watercolour, acrylic and spray paint
So we’ve got the final part of our triptych up today. Like the other parts it’s detailing someone dealing with lockdown. Rachel here is in a different boat to the others however.
Rachel has a nice house, big garden, investment banker husband and has always been a high achiever. She’s been attempting to treat the lockdown like an opportunity and was doing magnificently for the first two weeks. She’s been acing home schooling and has even been teaching little Sebastian some basic Mandarin on the side but the cracks are beginning to show. She thought she heard Sebastian swear and almost burst into tears. She’s now eyeing the bottle of gin in the drawing room. It’s not even 11am.
So there you go. We all deal with lockdown differently. Just try not to be the guy in the second picture and we should all be fine.
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