It’s typical isn’t it? I try and do something genuinely nice and the world conspires to deny my effort. There I was walking down the street when I happened upon what must be in the ranking for worst sign in the world. There is so much wrong with it that I don’t know where to start – damaged, dirty and illegible to begin with.
I felt a sign like that was doing any business more harm than good so decided to engage in a little guerilla marketing and upgrade their signage for them.
I’d designed their uncommissioned new signage and got as far as looking for a local printer when I realised they’d removed their on street display. Maybe they’re just psychic and don’t want anything to do with my garish redesign. Or perhaps they’d realised the sign’s nefarious potential as it was. Who knows? That’ll teach me anyway.
It’s not like team id-iom needs much in the way of reasons to head to the pub so when we got the call from a new pub, The Perky Nel, in Clapham South (on the site of the now deceased Gigalum and Oblivion bars) to say they needed some inspired interior design to brighten up an area by the kitchens we were happy to oblige.
After a bit of toing and froing we finally had an agreed design bringing a bold nature inspired heart design to the area around the serving hatch. Featuring flowers, badgers and an SW4 banner it’s a little ode to the Common. Although how many badgers are still knocking about in there is anyone’s guess…
After our enforced spring clean we were left with a few canvases that were in no fit state to be sold but not quite damaged enough to be binned. Hmmmm… What to do?
Well we finally decided to give them a quick update then find them a new home on the sweet streets of Brixton complete with one way security screws to ensure they had a chance of staying put…
First up we have Fernando who is an inveterate teller of fibs. He once stopped an old lady in the street and proceeded to tell her the story of the time he saved a herd of unicorns from an angry stray cat who just so happened to be the size of a small horse by making a rudimentary laser pointer out of a toilet tube, some elastic from his underpants and a single match.
The old dear listened for just a few seconds and from nowhere suddenly pulled out a magic wand and mumbled some magic words. Fernando hadn’t yet noticed but, obviously, his nose began to grow as he kept talking but the old lady didn’t care, she just ambled away to the shops. What’s the moral of this story? You’ll just have to work it out for yourself…
‘When I’m feeling blue, all I have to do, is take a look at you, then I’m not so blue’ sang Phil Collins on his 1988 track ‘A groovy kind of love’. It would seem this girl hasn’t seen Phil in quite some time then. Given the somewhat vacant look in her eyes it may be some time yet before she claps eyes on the great man.
As an aside I dearly hope putting those lyrics above has started an earworm for you. I know it has for me…
Title: When I’m feeling blue
Materials: Paint pen, acrylic and spraypaint
First up this week we’ve got ‘The Boy with the Red Face’ who is now on eBay (click link to follow to eBay)..
Well, well, look what we have here. It looks like someone has been caught doing something they shouldn’t by their mum. The red face and sullen eyes are an obvious giveaway but just look at those tears as well – that’s a sure fire sign if ever I saw one! The only thing I’m not sure about is what exactly this lad has done – but don’t worry, we can always make something up…
Hubert, for that is what we shall call him, was on his way to the shop to fetch some ciggies for his mother. When the proprietor turned his back Hubert decided to steal some Disney Princess ‘Princess Glamour’ Sticker Collection packs from the counter but Hubert wasn’t a skilled thief. Needless to say the owner caught him and promptly escorted him back home after leaving the shop in the hands of Mrs Clompton who had only just popped in for a pint of milk.
The story continues of course but i think you can fill out the rest of the story yourself and how he ended up like he is in the painting…
Title: The Boy with the Red Face
Materials: Acrylic, paint pen, spraypaint and glitter
In my mind there’s not much creepier than a disembodied doll’s head staring at you blankly with it’s huge eyes as you walk quietly by minding your own business. So I think if our goal was instil a sense of disquiet in you then perhaps we’ve succeeded.
I’d really love to know our intentions when this was created. Unfortunately we’ll now never know as those reasons have been lost to the mists of time. All we’ve got is this so it’s time to spread the love..
So we have decided to revive a bit of graffiti that was found all over the Isle of Man when we were growing up and bring it to the mean streets of London. FSFO apparently meant ‘Financial Sector F**k Off’ and was daubed on walls in the 80’s purportedly in response to the increasing growth and power of the Island’s burgeoning finance sector. Personally I always preferred the other definition of the acronym- which was that it stood for ‘Free Sex for Onchan’ (which is a small town on the Island) and the idea that sexual liberation was one thing they were willing to fight for. FSFO!
I realise this picture is a little saucy but then again we are going to need it if we are going to win the campaign for ‘Free Sex For Onchan’. It is a simple yet profound piece about sex with Onchan’s new motto emblazoned proudly across the top. In fact that’s given me a thought. Maybe we should have got some rainbow colours on there?…