I struck up a conversation the other day with a man who had more than a passing resemblance to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I have enough tact not to start a conversation with such a glaring statement but the similarities between them were uncanny with the same large red nose, massive teeth and incredibly long face. To tell you the truth it looked like one of the plastic joke ones given out for Comic Relief but, of course, I didn’t say that either. Instead I struck up a conversation about O’Neill cylinders in an attempt to bamboozle him, hopefully leading to a mild sense of confusion so that he would lower his defences and I could hopefully find out if he was actually somehow related to the famous reindeer.
I won’t bore you with the ensuing small talk but I did eventually find out that his name was Rosacea the red nosed human and he came to have such a big red nose due to a chance meeting he once had with a drunk fairy who thought it would be funny to make a human version of Rudolph. Over the years Rosacea hasn’t found it that amusing however…
You’re probably not going to believe me but Gregor here used to be a top influencer on Instagram for this stunning good looks and perfect quiff but things have begun to go downhill rather rapidly for him.
It all started innocently enough. Gregor was studiously going through his daily beauty regime and was plucking a rogue nostril hair when he caught his own eye in the mirror. Taken as he was with his own reflection he gave himself a cheeky wink and it all escalated from there. Now he only has time for his own reflection. He’s given up posting on Instagram but sits staring at himself for hours on end. He will occasionally smile or wink at himself while he whispers unintelligibly into the mirror. What will come of him I hear you ask? Well if you know anything of Greek mythology then you’ll know that the story of Narcissus doesn’t end well for the person concerned…
On A4 and made using Charcoal, pencil, paint pen and acrylic, drop us a line if interested.
Although the picture is colourful please don’t let that fool you, that is just artistic license. The man in front of me was the dullest person I have ever met. He was a lawyer, suited and booted consisting solely of shades of grey. From his suit, to his hair, to the grey sheen to his eyes, just completely grey. I was stuck in a lift with him and all he would talk about was the first schedule, a subject I had no clue about, and still don’t want to. Anyway, after he had explained part 1, he tried to move on to part 2 and this is where I had to draw the line, figuratively and physically. I told him that he couldn’t move if I was going to draw him and that included his mouth. By the time the fire brigade had arrived, I had completed this picture.
The lesson of this tale I hear you ask? Always carry a small kit of paints with you to disarm any dullard when stuck in a lift…
If you’ve wanted an id-iom piece but didn’t have the dollar then worry no further. We’re doing a little edition of A4 hot foil prints for £15 unframed (+ postage)
Make love not war. It’s a pretty straightforward slogan on this one and it would seem this couple is taking it all quite literally. But I think perhaps it’s worth repeating given the troubling times we find ourselves living in. With full on wars, proxy wars and terrorism springing up all over the world a little more love would go a long way. Originally from 1960’s US counter-culture movement it’s a pretty simple anti-war sentiment that is still pretty relevant.
‘Make love not war’ is £15 unframed (+ postage). She’s a cute A4 in size and is made using the magic of imagination and reflective foil and is ready to slip into a frame if anyone wants to give her a new home.
I love art shops don’t get me wrong but a good craft shop can be a wonder of delight as well. Some might ask what is the difference? A lot of products overlap but in a craft store there are some things which you just don’t get anywhere else. For instance ‘Rust paint’, paint that when applied looks like rust without needing a massive skill set. This is exactly what I bought the last time and what a find it was.
Admittedly I’ve had the stuff for quite a while as I had no idea what to do with it but, as always, the Muse will strike at any time. And for this clout around the head I was gifted with the idea of a rust covered heart.
Perhaps it’s about everlasting love or maybe about someone who won’t open their heart and so it falls into disrepair. To tell you the truth I wasn’t really sure myself until the other half of id-iom walked by whilst I was painting and casually mentioned the tin man and his lost heart. And that was it. You just have to love it when a plan comes together…
On A2 made using the magic of inspiration, spray paint, acrylic, rust paint and just a little bit of sewing
Now i’m not really sure how you can be a captain of a pigment but then again I’m not entirely sure what’s going with the world nowadays, so I suppose I have to expect any and everything goes in this social media age.
In fact just looking through this guy’s social media feed it would seem he’s no captain at all but just someone who has a unhealthy fascination with cadmium in all forms. That said he seems to be more interested in the colours it can make instead of its use in mobile phone batteries.
He tried to get in to the game of mining cadmium but instead of trying the tried and tested techniques he decided that he would try and obtain as much as he could by smoking as much as he could. Now as we all know this is an incredibly dangerous idea but the captain is now the biggest and only dealer in cigarette obtained cadmium. I have to say i really don’t think this is a good business model at all but c’est la vie i suppose…
Michael can’t really remember his mother as she left when he was young to become a trapeze artist for the travelling circus that had been visiting town. He can still remember her last words to him though which were ‘It will never be easy’ and he has taken those words and turned them in to a matra which he uses when things in his life are starting to go a little out of control. So now when things start to go wrong he calmly closes his eyes and repeats the mantra over and over again.
It’s not entirely clear how but it has apparently got him out of some pretty serious situations like when he was arrested for trying to swim the English Channel with only one flipper and a tin box full of aggressive fruit flies which just kept flying in to his eyes. Needless to say the Coast Guard was called as he had managed to cross into the shipping lanes which meant many boats were told to steer clear causing major havoc at ports throughout the EU. All in all that little escapade cost the British taxpayer something in the region of £4.7 million. And he never even got prosecuted. Made using the magic of imagination, acrylic, paint pen, watercolour, pastel and gold leaf on A4 paper.