Sometimes things just don’t turn out like you expect. It was a particularly dismal and rainswept day when the other half of id-iom popped out of the studio to get lunch but came back with the classic board game, Twister (think Jack and his magic beans…)
I was somewhat put out by this manoeuvre as I had been daydreaming of a Greggs sausage roll for close to an hour. I quickly demanded to know what exactly what he thought was going on but all I got in return was a whirring noise and the repeated phrase ‘Left foot first’…
I’m sure we’ve all heard of the red mist? It is the feeling of extremeanger that temporarily clouds one’s judgment and can arise given a variety of conditions and depending on the individual.
Sometimes it’ll occur when some over-entitled male tries to mansplain something like the dark side of the Moon and how it is tidally locked to Earth when the woman is a world renowned astrophysicist with numerous awards and accolades under her belt on many far ranging subjects infinitely more complex than the simple geophysics this mouthbreather is attempting to explain.
Or perhaps simply encountering a mime. That would also do it.
Last time we met time-travelling warrior poet Azrael Goldbeard he was in his undercover human form sometime in the 1970’s but since then he’s mistakenly jumped to 2019 Brexit Britain and it has got him well and truly wound up. He’s not thinking of a spiffy haiku now but has reverted to his powered up warrior form as he can sense the awesome amount of negative energy all around him.
His beard is now composed of pure energy and his eyes are literally leaking the power of a dwarf star. We can only hope he decides to put this energy to good use rather than taking off and nuking the entire site from orbit and hightailing it back to the 70’s. I, for one, welcome our new galactic overlords…
I struck up a conversation the other day with a man who had more than a passing resemblance to Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I have enough tact not to start a conversation with such a glaring statement but the similarities between them were uncanny with the same large red nose, massive teeth and incredibly long face. To tell you the truth it looked like one of the plastic joke ones given out for Comic Relief but, of course, I didn’t say that either. Instead I struck up a conversation about O’Neill cylinders in an attempt to bamboozle him, hopefully leading to a mild sense of confusion so that he would lower his defences and I could hopefully find out if he was actually somehow related to the famous reindeer.
I won’t bore you with the ensuing small talk but I did eventually find out that his name was Rosacea the red nosed human and he came to have such a big red nose due to a chance meeting he once had with a drunk fairy who thought it would be funny to make a human version of Rudolph. Over the years Rosacea hasn’t found it that amusing however…
You’re probably not going to believe me but Gregor here used to be a top influencer on Instagram for this stunning good looks and perfect quiff but things have begun to go downhill rather rapidly for him.
It all started innocently enough. Gregor was studiously going through his daily beauty regime and was plucking a rogue nostril hair when he caught his own eye in the mirror. Taken as he was with his own reflection he gave himself a cheeky wink and it all escalated from there. Now he only has time for his own reflection. He’s given up posting on Instagram but sits staring at himself for hours on end. He will occasionally smile or wink at himself while he whispers unintelligibly into the mirror. What will come of him I hear you ask? Well if you know anything of Greek mythology then you’ll know that the story of Narcissus doesn’t end well for the person concerned…
On A4 and made using Charcoal, pencil, paint pen and acrylic, drop us a line if interested.
Although the picture is colourful please don’t let that fool you, that is just artistic license. The man in front of me was the dullest person I have ever met. He was a lawyer, suited and booted consisting solely of shades of grey. From his suit, to his hair, to the grey sheen to his eyes, just completely grey. I was stuck in a lift with him and all he would talk about was the first schedule, a subject I had no clue about, and still don’t want to. Anyway, after he had explained part 1, he tried to move on to part 2 and this is where I had to draw the line, figuratively and physically. I told him that he couldn’t move if I was going to draw him and that included his mouth. By the time the fire brigade had arrived, I had completed this picture.
The lesson of this tale I hear you ask? Always carry a small kit of paints with you to disarm any dullard when stuck in a lift…
If you’ve wanted an id-iom piece but didn’t have the dollar then worry no further. We’re doing a little edition of A4 hot foil prints for £15 unframed (+ postage)
Make love not war. It’s a pretty straightforward slogan on this one and it would seem this couple is taking it all quite literally. But I think perhaps it’s worth repeating given the troubling times we find ourselves living in. With full on wars, proxy wars and terrorism springing up all over the world a little more love would go a long way. Originally from 1960’s US counter-culture movement it’s a pretty simple anti-war sentiment that is still pretty relevant.
‘Make love not war’ is £15 unframed (+ postage). She’s a cute A4 in size and is made using the magic of imagination and reflective foil and is ready to slip into a frame if anyone wants to give her a new home.