Here I have paraphrased Jean-Paul Satre because in his play Huis Clos, or No Exit, he doesn’t actually mean people are the absolute worst when one of the characters says “L’enfer, c’est les autres” but in this case that is exactly what I mean.
There I was going on my first excursion outside in about 5 days due to the fact that I have underlying conditions. The sun was out, the breeze whipping through my wispy geography teacher style hair (cheers lockdown!) when I noticed the first idiot coming for me.
It was a middle aged woman who for some unknown reason crossed the road and walked straight towards me. Not 2 metres in front or behind me but exactly to my location. Luckily for the lady, I didn’t have The Answerer with me, a hefty blackthorn staff blessed by the gods who just loves being used to beat the stupid out of people especially when they don’t adhere to scientific recommendations. Think Thor’s hammers Mjolnir or Stormbreaker but instead of the unworthy not being able to pick up the weapon, the unworthy get a knock upside their head in the hopes it might shake loose some intelligence….
It is A2 in size and made using pencil, watercolour, acrylic and spray paint
In our ongoing series of superheroes doing mundane things here we have Fuego Fire – the Scottish Highlands answer to Human Torch from the Fantastic Four. Here we see him enjoying a much needed weekend off spent pottering around the Chelsea Flower Show. Up in Glasgow there isn’t much of that sort of thing so for Fuego it’s a rare treat. You might be wondering why Fuego would wear his uniform when having a weekend off in London and it’s because when he’s not in costume people regularly mistake him for Scottish actor and impressionist Stanley Baxter This is never a problem when he’s in Scotland but anywhere else it’s just a nightmare…
It is A2 in size and made using Acrylic, pencil and oil pastel.
As a casual viewer of artworks on the internet in this information age I’m pretty sure you’re going to tell me that i’ve drawn this lady with too many arms. In fact you are ‘limbprecise’, to use a portmanteau I’ve just coined although I’m sure you can gleam the meaning. Less of the semantics and more of the story though.
Marigold lived for many years in a genuine mad scientist’s laboratory – which is where the extra limbs come from. The mad scientist had always admired Dr Otto Gunther Octavius (or Doctor Octopus as he’s more commonly known) from when he was read comics as a child and always thought that a set of extra arms would make life so much easier.
So why give the arms to Marigold I hear you ask? There’s a simple answer for this. He only ever managed to grow two sets of arms, one set grew to be big and strong but the other never really grew properly and stayed a bit scrawny. This just wouldn’t do as he wanted the biggest, baddest arms of any mad scientist. Anyway after a few years the two sets were all he could come up with, so he thought he might as well use them. He’s now trying to figure out what to with all the legs he’s grown and has lying around the lab. Maybe create a wall crawling human spider? No, that would never work…
With the announcement that Marvel are to reinvent Thor as a lady in the comic book series I thought it about time to wheel out my version of Lady Thor that I’ve had kicking around for a while. I’d never really found anywhere suitable to paint her on the streets (and had only done her as a test spray) but with the advent of me trying to clear the various collected doors and other found objects from the garden I thought she’d be a perfect fit on one of the doors – and it turns out she is. Now i’ve just got to find somewhere suitable to leave her.
Here she is with her mystical hammer, Mjolnir, in hand calling forth some lightning in her sexy little metal breastplate and helmet. Although thinking about it that sounds like a rather risque outfit if you’re messing with electricity…