He used to be a part of the infamous Mandem crew. In fact he actually used to be the poster boy of Mandem Records, now he just sits by himself stroking his not so luxurious beard. His beard is actually made up of a culture of different fungi and detritus that has become matted with his own beard. What exactly happened you might well ask but no one really knows. One day he just got up and walked away from his previous life and is now holed up in the back of our studio, mumbling to himself. We try to coax him out every now and then with a cup of tea and a biscuit but so far no joy. When I try again, perhaps I’ll see if a custard cream will work…
He’s a sad reminder that nothing is safe in the shedio for too long. Especially in winter time. The damp gets to anything unprotected.
What can you say about Mr Tommy Funstuff that hasn’t been said before in a million sordid tabloid stories from here to Timbuktu? That he stole the family jewels of the New Hampshire’s Montague Smythe’s only to give them back as a birthday present the very next day, that he’s the only man to circumvent the globe in a paper aeroplane, that he swam across the Atlantic with nothing but one broken flipper and a tobacco pipe filled with newspaper and, of course, that he is in the Guinness book of records as the man with the most amount of thimbles for pygmy marmosets but alas you’ll have heard of all of these exploits many of times before.
Perhaps though by painting this picture of Tommy i can create a new story and get Tommy to help me fulfil my quest to ski across the back of an inflatable orange whilst simultaneously juggling a trio of miniature schnauzers dressed as business men. I certainly know It’s something within his sphere of expertise. Here’s to hoping…
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