You’ve probably never heard of Whyte Investigations. And that’s just the way P.I. Helen Whyte likes it. She would definitely prefer you to keep her name out of your mouth. Not because she’s liable to slap you for it but because if too many people require her services then it’s a sure fire indicator there’s a serious paranormal event incoming. And that can be problematic.
The fact she’s the best paranormal investigator in the UK (possibly the World) could be down to the fact that she’s equal parts Columbo and Sam Spade or it could be down to the posse of crows that follow her everywhere and are her eyes and ears as she investigates whatever dodgy activity is going down.
‘It’ll be alwhyte’ is A3 in size and made using paint pen, acrylic, charcoal and a one colour screen print. It’s available in our shop or you can always get in touch directly.
Legend has it that shortly after Crawley was made a borough in 1974 the newly anointed mayor was presented with a modified coat of arms and a piece of art – both bearing Crawley’s motto ‘I grow and I rejoice’ (which, as I’m sure we all know is a translation of a phrase from the Epistulae of Seneca the Younger). The coat of arms has always been on display at the Town Hall whilst the art disappeared shortly after it’s initial presentation in somewhat murky circumstances during a drunken pub fight.
After investing a significant amount of time and effort in research and archaeology id-iom is proud to announce the recovery of this historically important document. It was discovered stuffed down the back seat of a decaying Ford Cortina. The people of Crawley can now rejoice however as the the art will soon be reunited with the coat of arms and the prophecy that has long been foretold may now come to pass.
Well, that’s my story and i’m sticking to it…
Title: I grow and I rejoice
Materials: Stencil, spraypaint, screen print & paint pen
It all began back in the summer of ’05 when we were just starting out on this career. At the time we were both working for the man, in dead-end office jobs and our fervour for life was on the wane. Whilst in the doldrums we went back home for a relative’s birthday party and whilst there came across a undeniable rogue of immense proportions, a true reprobate, a man who wallows in the murky grey underbelly of life. It was, of course, none other than Sir Asmund Quayle. Needless to say he was a delight to chat to and [3 paragraphs redacted].
After some hastily constructed explanations and a few secret handshakes the police agreed there were no charges to press and once the paramedic had finished her work and departed we all shook hands and had a good laugh at our immense stroke of good fortune. Naturally, given the situation, Sir Asmund was more than grateful and id-iom now had a very influential friend for life.
Of course this isn’t an actual likeness of Sir Asmund but more a totem/representation of him which we and others can use in everyday life. Remember this though – we all follow false idols.
Title: Sir Asmund Quayle – The patron saint of id-iom
Materials: Screen print, paint pen, acrylic and charcoal
So there I was in the pub the other day professionally ignoring the football when this guy came up to me and started pontificating about how secure an investment of Bitcoin surely was. He told me he could increase my investment 100 fold. It surely seemed a little too good to be true but I entertained him because there was still 40 mins left on the game of ballfoot to endure. Come full time he was still banging on about a new crypto wallet or some such rubbish. It took all conversational skills I’ve garnered over the years just to get a word in edgeways and in that conversational sweet spot I somehow managed to get him to accept a small portrait of himself by way of my investment. I’m not really sure how i’m going to get my investment back but I did manage to get rid of him. For now at least. The Bitcoin investors are easily startled but they’ll soon be back. And in greater numbers.
When I was mixing up the black ink for printing these I put in more pigment that I thought necessary and it was proper black. At least it looked it. Strangely though once it had been printed it came up grey. I did a couple more just to check I wasn’t going mad and then thought about crying. Screen printing can be pretty frustrating sometimes. Rather than throw a sulk and just chuck everything in the bin I thought I’d make the best of the situation and salvage what I could and these are the result. I like them more than I should probably because I know just how close they came to being binned. It turns out I’d used an old pigment or possibly old base goop and it somehow loses it’s ability to hold decent colour. Everyday is a school day.
Anyway they’re on A2 paper and are made using the magic of screen printing and spray paint. Perhaps I’ll get round to doing them again in black and completing them as per my original vision someday. Who knows? Drop us a line if interested.
Not content with printing up some t-shirts with the id-iom certified logo we’ve got our hands on some blank tote bags and so decided to print up a couple of those too. Basically I’ll stick an id-iom logo on just about whatever I can lay my hands on. It does look classy though if I do say so myself.
As you can probably tell this shot is not at all staged. Just me walking down the street completely natural like. I’m even pretending to use my phone so my arm isn’t hovering strangely in the air as I try not to obscure the logo. The troubles we have to go to…
Given that it was 34 degrees in London yesterday and I could easily have stayed at home in the relative cool I decided a good walk (just to work up a sweat) and some screen printing was in order. Say hello to id-iom’s new ‘faded stamp’ t’s. They’re for our percy pile so don’t think you can get your grubby mitts on one…
Now the Cheltenham Festival may have been and gone but if you live anywhere near the area here’s a hot little tip for you. We’re exhibiting a few pieces alongside other artists such as My dog sighs, Korp, Dice 67 and Zabou at the Urban Arts exhibition at Chapel Arts on Knapp Road in Cheltenham. It’s running from this Friday (25th March) until the 16th April. It’s always good to make it down on opening night if you can – some lovely artwork, a beer or two and if anyone asks you can sound like you’re doing something cultural. It’s in the balance at the moment whether we’ll be able to make it or not but if we do we’ll see you there…
In my continuing efforts to drum up some interest in the zombie book I’ve written I’ve done another small artwork based on it. Here we can see that they’ve finally got a gun. Now, I’m not entirely sure of the real world use of a gun in most zombie situations as it surely just attracts more of them to your location – which is the last thing you want – but it’s definitely a good backup. In this instance they are taking some revenge and trying to find their friend. Don’t worry too much as they are mostly doing it from the confines of an armoured Range Rover. Here’s a little taster:
“Eventually the car finds it’s way to the cricket pitch and they drive a slow circuit around the outside of the ground. I want to jump up and signal their attention but something tells me to be wary. They pull up beside the bonfire just as one of the school kid zombies from earlier emerges onto the south edge of the field. The driver guns the engine and the Range Rover pulls forward on a collision course with the zombie. I can hear the sickening crunch of bone even from my position some distance away.”
Since I’d done a self portrait yesterday I thought it was only fair that today I did a portrait of the other half of id-iom. I’m not entirely sure if I’ve outdone myself but I think it’s just about recognisable as him. He’s got the same screen printed background featuring the id-iom seal of approval and I’ve coloured his nose in green as he just mentioned the other day how he rarely uses the colour green in his designs (for some reason best known to himself) so I thought I’d remedy that here. Right, what’s next?