Whether they be truck drivers, cleaners, retail workers, doctors, nurses, tech monkeys or in this case a naked winged celestial being there are angels amongst us during this most testing of times.
In fact, this divine messenger is not here to help as such but more to chastise all the idiots of the world. Just yesterday she had to head to Snowdonia to shame all the idiots who thought flouting the rules in rural North Wales would be a good idea. She also had to spend a bit of time flitting round the coast of the entire UK in order to deter people from congregating in groups, mainly by helping out the pirates of the sea (seagulls) steal peoples chips and generally make a raucous nuisance of themselves. A small but surprisingly effective method to encourage social distancing…
It’s funny how thing often come full circle. When I was a young whippersnapper I wrote a very short story about a seahorse called Cyril and his family. This was duly put away and then rediscovered in the attic many years later. Much hilarity ensued at my juvenile storytelling abilities but it got me thinking. What exactly would Cyril and his family be up to now?
In this piece we can see Cyril’s previously unnamed son, Marcus. He’s had a few holiday jobs growing up including an interesting stint at Blockbuster Video but now though he’s a seaman on a fake navy vessel called the Scubatuinne (“Wave sweeper”) that hosts parties for bored and very rich housewives. He mostly just serves champagne and hors d’oeuvres whilst the boat goes up and down whichever stretch of waterway that a customer has chosen for their few hours of ‘fun’.
He can’t say he’s particularly happy with his station but he’s hoping it’s a stepping stone. The job he’s really looking for is to one day be captain of his own vessel. Cyril and his mum would be so proud if he could manage that.
It is on a 1×1 m canvas and made using the magic of imagination, acrylic, spray paint, paint pen and glow in the dark resin. As Marcus works on an imaginary party boat I thought it only fair to add a little phosphorescent glow to the piece as a nod to the bioluminescence of the sea and the kind of party boat he works on. Drop us a line if you’re interested in giving Marcus a new home.
So here it is – our finished piece for Islexpo and Year of our Island. We went for a kind of vintage travel poster look in the end with some abstract land, sea and air (I had to get some stripes in there somehow!) and a mysterious looking lady presenting the magical kingdom of Mann to you. A great day all in and even the weather was playing ball. What more could you want?
With rain a distant memory and sunshine predicted it was time to get out of the house to get some painting done. A few calls later and we’re on our way up to Bethnal Green to do our thing on a wall next to Deep Sea car wash. It just so happened that I was painting a canvas which had a water based theme when we got this wall and so it felt like fate. We would do a bigger version along the same lines as the canvas. So far so good.
The wall was some old school brick that hadn’t seen a lick of paint in it’s entire life and was quite dusty so it was massively thirsty for paint but other than that it was pretty much plain sailing. Some appreciative local bobbies even popped by in their fancy interceptor car but once i’d given them the old ‘these aren’t the artists you’re looking for’ line they passed by without another word. Apparently they were called by a concerned member of the public who thought we were committing an act of criminal damage. As if! Cheeky tinkers.
Anyway we thought we’d celebrate diversity and the majesty of the female form in all it’s glorious variety with this one. So rather than a waif-like supermodel we’ve gone for a slightly larger boned lady with this one. She does, in fact, look a bit like an American tourist with her Hawaiian shirt on but rest assured she’s just trying to blend in whilst finding the secret of the oversized koi carp that are swimming around her. My favourite touch was the chain (which was already fixed to the wall for some unknown reason) and the anchor which we added after finding some suitable hook like things to hand the chain off. A big thanks to Dan and Nelly for help finding the wall.
“It was not a job he wanted but, somehow, it was a job he’d got. He was standing on a small pile of rocks with a light morning breeze ruffling his feathers and gazing out over the sea of carnage in front of him. A magpie standing nearby was nervously recounting the events of the previous evening. His words came in staccato gasps ‘The seagulls came in the dead of night and attacked en masse. Everyone was exhausted from the feast of McDonalds. A couple of rooks managed to raise the alarm but it was already too late…’. The words washed over him while he slowly came to the realisation that he was now in charge. Tears could wait. It was time to show these gulls who ruled the airspace around here once and for all.”
If I had to write a story based on this picture I’m pretty sure that’s how it would start. An epic tale of urban avian skullduggery with more aerial combat, vicious peckings and egg smashings than any story has a right to contain. All conducted right above our heads on the busy London streets. I think maybe I just got up too early this morning…
There I was aimlessly wandering the aisles of my local supermarket searching for an ingredient they undoubtedly didn’t have. I was feeling a little dispirited and glanced at the new wine description they’d put up for Blue Nun. Seeing the halfhearted description made me want to cry a little so I thought I’d see if I could jazz it up somewhat.
The previous description was ‘Popular wine from Germany with a citrusy tang and a hint of honey on the finish. Great with Asian noodles. Taste Guide 4.’ I think mine is a somewhat more honest appraisal of the wine’s true character. I’d like to think these will go unnoticed by the staff until some eagle eyed customer decides to spoil my fun and brings it to their attention. Only time will tell…
Sooo, we managed to ruffle some feathers with the original version of this which we did at Sun, Sea and Spray in Blackpool last year. It originally had the text ‘Taking the cure’ which refers to the Victorian pastime of ‘taking the cure’ – being to bathe in the sea for healing/medicinal purposes, which Blackpool used to be famous for. It’s even mentioned on their Wikipedia entry but the Man didn’’t see it that way. Apparently we were making a drugs reference and we needed to adapt it to something less contentious or have the whole thing buffed. Which is where our man on the spot, Chris Fenn and his trusty assistant Hannah Nickson came to our aid and very kindly agreed to modify it for us. So, above is our newly refinished piece complete with entirely inoffensive text. We definitely owe you both a pint or two. And here’s the much maligned original…