Tag Archives: sexy

Gone for a Burton

There’s little id-iom enjoys more than a roadtrip – especially when it’s to somewhere new – so when we got a call from Smirnoff about jazzing up the smoking area of Society Bar in Burton upon Trent we didn’t have to think too long before agreeing. After a lengthy approvals process we finally got the go ahead so packed up the id-iomobile and hit the road. It’s lucky we started straight away as it turns out that doing loads of stripes is easy when designing on a computer but surprisingly time consuming when doing it with paint. Especially when we had to work with very little access behind the scaffolding poles. Which we would have been able to remove if we brought an adjustable spanner rather than some allen keys. It wasn’t our fault though, for once, as we were told that we’d just need allen keys. Anyway, we just about managed to get it all done and you can see the fruits of our labour yourself if you’re ever in Burton.



Bonus: We passed through the suburb of Branston on our way out of town and we joked about Branston Pickle being from there. It turns out that it is actually the case. So now you know.


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Anything that kills me makes me feel alive

This guy is an urban vampire. If you know what to look for it’s easy to spot. Bats for hair is the first thing. As we all know, vampires are naturally bald but over time they’ve convinced squadrons of tiny undead bats to cling to their scalps in some semblance of a hairpiece. They tend to have a glamour (or spell) that makes the beasts look just like a well tousled head of hair but if you squint just right you can see the little blighters scrabbling over each other for purchase or occasionally flying off to snatch a nearby fly.

The fact that vampires tend to smoke hemlock cigarettes is another giveaway. With a smell more acrid than burning tyres one hit will kill you in an instant but that doesn’t stop them passing them over for a toke to anyone stupid enough to ask what it is.

Finally, vampires love bling. And not just any one old bling. They believe that ancient gold artifacts posess the power of civilisations now gone. And the mythical Golden Fleece is the most revered of the lot. Here he’s had it spun into an actual fleece so he’ll be able to pass as normal a bit more easily whilst out and about. So there you go. Now you now.

He’s been lasercut on wood at 39 x 27cm and then lovingly hand painted before some gold and silver leaf was added (they love bling remember) and a drizzle of crystal resin to finish.



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I know words. I have the best words.

Sometimes Donald Trump is difficult to ignore. Not only is he President of the USA but he loves to tweet like a madman on ephedrine. He’s come out with many cromulent quotes designed to embiggen his own reputation and has even delved into the world of neology with such memorable words as ‘schlonged’ and, of course, ‘covfefe’, which is admittedly probably a typo but when you’re President you’ve got to watch our for such things as spelling.

Once you combine this with his opulent orange permatan, luxurious thatch of downy hair and tiny hands then you’ve definitely got a character worthy of some id-iom attention. The main quote used was from 2013 Twitter tirade and is, of course, about the man himself but I had to incorporate my second favourite quote ‘I know words. I have the best words’ which really elaborates on his eloquence.

He’s lasercut on wood then lovingly hand painted. As it’s the Trumpster I saw fit to include some gold paint, silver leaf, sequins, crystal resin and some pilfered logos. And there you have it. Drop us a line if interested.



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She walks in beauty (id-iom @ WXSP 2017)

For our fifth visit to Whitecross Street Party we thought we’d go for something mysterious and classy. Whether or not that’s worked is up to you to decide. The lady is based on a picture of ‘plus size’ model Robyn Lawley. Why on earth she is referred to as ‘plus size’ is beyond me though. If you saw her in the street I’m pretty much ‘plus size’ would be the last thing you’d be thinking. It’s an odd world we inhabit.

The lettering we’ve used all over the piece is Lord Byron’s poem ‘She walks in beauty’. Apparently he went to a ball and met his cousin by marriage, Mrs Anne Beatrice Wilmot, who was in mourning and wearing a black dress set with spangles and next morning he’d come up with what is widely regarded as his most famous work. Inspiration can strike at strange times it would seem. Once you’ve combined that with our extra busy striped background then you’ve got another certified id-iom piece. It’s on a 120cm square board. Just drop us a line if interested.

A big thanks to Teddy for having us and, as ever, it’s nice to catch up with the various people that dropped by for a chat. Let’s hope we can bring back some glorious sunshine for next year…



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Good morning Mr Zip-Zip-Zip!

Good morning, Mister Zip-Zip-Zip,
You’re surely looking fine!
Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust,
If the Camels don’t get you,
The Fatimas must.

Here we have some pretty interesting lyrics taken from 1918 ragtime classic ‘Good Morning Mr Zip-Zip-Zip’ where ‘Camels’ and ‘Fatimas’ are apparently references to cigarette brands that were popular at the time. The tune was a favourite with US soldiers during the World War 1 era and was available as sheet music for piano, band, orchestra and male quartet as well as for talking machine or player piano.

Just why the muse demanded I juxtapose this with a rather racy looking young lady clutching a couple of water pistols you’ll have to work out for yourself. It’s laser engraved on wood then hand painted and stands proud at 39 x 26cm. Drop us a line if you’re interested…



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I don’t really listen to music (Phil Collins – No Context Required)

Quelle surprise – Phil Collins doesn’t really  listen to music. I would imagine he ingests it in some entirely novel way that your average man on the street wouldn’t even be able to fully comprehend. Maybe he senses it using his musical intuition or perhaps he experiences it through bone conduction whilst floating in a pool of saltwater while small fish gently nibble his skin. Who knows? All I know for sure is that internet informed me of today’s out of context Phil quote. He apparently said it at some point and that’s more than good enough for me.

Anyway, I’ve juxtaposed his quote with a rather sultry looking supermodel. Once you’ve liberally sprinkled a couple of pilfered logos in and adorned it with a green & red background then you’re good to go with another successful ‘No context required’ piece. It’s laser engraved on wood then hand painted and stands proud at 39 x 26cm. Drop us a line if you’re interested…



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