Now i’m not really sure how you can be a captain of a pigment but then again I’m not entirely sure what’s going with the world nowadays, so I suppose I have to expect any and everything goes in this social media age.
In fact just looking through this guy’s social media feed it would seem he’s no captain at all but just someone who has a unhealthy fascination with cadmium in all forms. That said he seems to be more interested in the colours it can make instead of its use in mobile phone batteries.
He tried to get in to the game of mining cadmium but instead of trying the tried and tested techniques he decided that he would try and obtain as much as he could by smoking as much as he could. Now as we all know this is an incredibly dangerous idea but the captain is now the biggest and only dealer in cigarette obtained cadmium. I have to say i really don’t think this is a good business model at all but c’est la vie i suppose…
When Becky was little all she wanted to do was follow her father in the family business and become an award-winning pastry chef. He taught her all he knew but then puberty changed everything.
Amongst other changes her hands warmed up to such a degree that they could become smoking hot if she got at all excited. You can imagine what that meant for her pastry career. She could cremate a croissant before it could be wrapped. Now she can’t even work indoors for fears of health & safety claims against her for second-hand smoke.
What is the moral of this story I hear you ask. Well, that’s for me to know and you to find out. She’s A3 and made using the magic of the imagination, pencil, acrylic and smoke. Drop us a line if interested.
To calm her down I offered her a drink which she excepted but to everyone’s dismay, she ordered a flaming Sambuca. No one was quite sure what she was going to do with it and we weren’t disappointed. She downed it in one and there in front of us the light orange glow of flames started to lick around her body once again. No one was quite sure but as she said her thanks she again started to strut down the street with smoke starting to billow around her, this was when I decided to take a mental picture so that I could try and paint her sometime in the next week.
There I was just last Friday having a few celebratory drinks in the pub due to the fact that another week had come to a close. When this woman comes sashaying past naked, literally on fire and without a care in the world. Now as I’m sure you’d agree this sent most of the patrons reeling, downing their pints and running off down the street. The more chivalrous of the group decided that instead of drinking their pints they would throw their drinks at the lady, thinking they were helping her out in some way but all that seemed to do was make the lady angry.
This guy is an urban vampire. If you know what to look for it’s easy to spot. Bats for hair is the first thing. As we all know, vampires are naturally bald but over time they’ve convinced squadrons of tiny undead bats to cling to their scalps in some semblance of a hairpiece. They tend to have a glamour (or spell) that makes the beasts look just like a well tousled head of hair but if you squint just right you can see the little blighters scrabbling over each other for purchase or occasionally flying off to snatch a nearby fly.
The fact that vampires tend to smoke hemlock cigarettes is another giveaway. With a smell more acrid than burning tyres one hit will kill you in an instant but that doesn’t stop them passing them over for a toke to anyone stupid enough to ask what it is.
Finally, vampires love bling. And not just any one old bling. They believe that ancient gold artifacts posess the power of civilisations now gone. And the mythical Golden Fleece is the most revered of the lot. Here he’s had it spun into an actual fleece so he’ll be able to pass as normal a bit more easily whilst out and about. So there you go. Now you now.
He’s been lasercut on wood at 39 x 27cm and then lovingly hand painted before some gold and silver leaf was added (they love bling remember) and a drizzle of crystal resin to finish.
Unfortunately we forgot to get out our video camera out at Freeze festival this year – but fear not as it has all been captured and edited much better than we would have done in the short video above. Our piece gets featured a little and you even get a quick shot of someone having a crafty puff on our extra large art fag. Good times all round…