Things have been getting a little weird since lockdown. The intense boredom and general anxiety mix together in some odd combinations. In order to combat this I thought a self-portrait may be in order. I was wrong.
Looking at the paper in front of me I saw myself staring back or at least some facsimile of me – but things just weren’t quite right. The head too elongated, the nose too small but the dead, lifeless eyes I seemed to have got just right.
Then I realised it wasn’t really me but that unflinching dolt High Risk Hugo. A stain on society if ever I saw one. A man who on his good days was more like Chuck Norris on flakka trying to chat up your girlfriend but on his bad days the social equivalent of someone slipping a dead slug in your mouth and holding it shut.
I’ll not be doing another selfie anytime soon. We don’t need to let that particular cat out of the bag…
There’s little id-iom enjoys more than a roadtrip – especially when it’s to somewhere new – so when we got a call from Smirnoff about jazzing up the smoking area of Society Bar in Burton upon Trent we didn’t have to think too long before agreeing. After a lengthy approvals process we finally got the go ahead so packed up the id-iomobile and hit the road. It’s lucky we started straight away as it turns out that doing loads of stripes is easy when designing on a computer but surprisingly time consuming when doing it with paint. Especially when we had to work with very little access behind the scaffolding poles. Which we would have been able to remove if we brought an adjustable spanner rather than some allen keys. It wasn’t our fault though, for once, as we were told that we’d just need allen keys. Anyway, we just about managed to get it all done and you can see the fruits of our labour yourself if you’re ever in Burton.
Bonus: We passed through the suburb of Branston on our way out of town and we joked about Branston Pickle being from there. It turns out that it is actually the case. So now you know.