Michael, George and Elton are a trio of identical triplets who each possess a modicum of magical ability. On the day they were born their grandmother whispered in to each babes ear the magic words that have never been repeated. I’m pretty sure all they can do is make frogs, dogs, cats, bats, certain lizards legs and wooden pegs and of course water rain from the sky but definitely not money. In the social media age this has been good for them but not great. The term one trick ponies has been bandied about for sure. The three take it in their stride however. They now have a very successful wooden peg business and most of their days are spent as they please. Clouds and silver linings and all that.
As a casual viewer of artworks on the internet in this information age I’m pretty sure you’re going to tell me that i’ve drawn this lady with too many arms. In fact you are ‘limbprecise’, to use a portmanteau I’ve just coined although I’m sure you can gleam the meaning. Less of the semantics and more of the story though.
Marigold lived for many years in a genuine mad scientist’s laboratory – which is where the extra limbs come from. The mad scientist had always admired Dr Otto Gunther Octavius (or Doctor Octopus as he’s more commonly known) from when he was read comics as a child and always thought that a set of extra arms would make life so much easier.
So why give the arms to Marigold I hear you ask? There’s a simple answer for this. He only ever managed to grow two sets of arms, one set grew to be big and strong but the other never really grew properly and stayed a bit scrawny. This just wouldn’t do as he wanted the biggest, baddest arms of any mad scientist. Anyway after a few years the two sets were all he could come up with, so he thought he might as well use them. He’s now trying to figure out what to with all the legs he’s grown and has lying around the lab. Maybe create a wall crawling human spider? No, that would never work…
Ever heard of ‘The Penge Society of Awkward Walkers’? Apparently they have an annual moseying competition where points are awarded for style, grace and speed. If I’m to believe the other half of id-iom he clinched it from the standing champion, a one Mr Fiac Cain, in this year’s final.
I used to do a bit of professional moseying myself back in the day and couldn’t really take this kind of thing lying down so set up a match with the other half and finangled Fiac Cain as referee. Two birds with one stone and all that. My winning mosey was a graceful mashup of my interpretation of a swan in flight and Natalie Imbruglia’s ‘Torn’. Nothing else came close.
As per the Ancient Rules of id-iom I demanded a piece of art showcasing how the loser felt for my prize. What I got in return was this piece titled ‘Memento Mori’. I’m interpreting the skull as his, not mine…
‘Memento Mori’ is A3 in size and made using imagination, a little resentment, acrylic paint and smoke from a magic candle. If you’d like to give it a new home just get in touch.
It may not be entirely clear from the picture but this piece has been blasted by a shotgun. Let me explain, before i even remembered we had access to shotguns on the Isle of Man we thought about going to an archery range to fire arrows at a bunch of targets we had bought that we were going to paint on. This led me down the path of william tell who as legend states shot an apple off the head of a child. This is why this picture has an apple on it.
Now without any practise i can’t say if i’m good enough to reproduce such feats of marksmanship but with a shotgun in hand i can certainly hit something that’s for sure.
After finding a suitable place to shoot we had a quick health and safety meeting, can’t be to careful can you.
We were then ready, with a quick look over his shoulder, the other half of id-iom harbouring a nod and a wink at me, blasted the artwork with a malevolence that one would only expect from the devil himself. In all of a too shorter time all the pieces had been shot up to kingdom come including this one.
Maybe we should still go to the archery range anyway just to see who has the best shot out of the pair of us…
This poor soul has the misfortune of being a descendant of some pretty interesting people. So many of them in fact that it he has acquired a set of superpowers, well, sort of.
First of all he is said to be descended from Coeus one of the titans of greek mythology who was the Titan of intellect, the axis of heaven around which the constellations revolved and probably of heavenly oracles to boot. Now that’s not a bad start when looking at one branch of the family tree. Later Franz Mesmer the man credited with creating hypnotism was married to one of his relatives. And nearly up to present day there is of course ‘The great Otto’ who certainly isn’t great and not even a very good hypnotist but he did, of course, have a stage presence to rival that of Beyonce.
This kind of lineage has given poor Manfred here a set of skills that only someone with his inherited genetic code could have but also a set of skills that he certainly didn’t want. He can’t even so much as glance at another person before knowing all their secret desires and dark thoughts. Which can get pretty tiresome.
It is A4 in size and made using the magic of inspiration, acrylic, watercolour and paint pen. Get in touch if you would like to give it a new home….
It’s a beautiful thing isn’t it? Hindsight that is. If only I knew then what I know now, things would have been very different.
Frankie here can be a bit of a nightmare – as i’ve just found out. In passing one day I mentioned that she may make an interesting subject to paint and since then she just keeps turning up at the studio and taking her clothes off. I asked repeatedly to stop doing it but she kept saying she wanted to be painted. There was only so much of her hanging around drinking all the tea and eating all the biscuits before I had to relent and paint her anyway.
Afterward I told her about a nearby life drawing class and she’s now become a full time life drawing model. At least she seems happy now and people dropping by the studio no longer wonder why a naked woman is hanging around…
She is on A4 and made with the magic of imagination, smoke, pencil and acrylic.
Coming up with a child’s name can be a tricky business. You’ve got to get it right as they’re stuck with it for life. John had been struggling with this process for months whilst his wife insisted, increasingly loudly, that he better come up with something really good if he’s taking this long. One popular method for naming babies in celebrity circles is the ‘Name child after where it was conceived’ method which is really quite self explanatory so John thought he’d head down this path.
After performing the necessary mental arithmetic and referring to the calendar on his phone John worked out it had probably been whilst they had been on a short break to the Isle of Man. There was a particular afternoon picnic which he thinks may have been the culprit. It all escalated a little quickly and could probably have got them arrested but was fun nonetheless.
He was still remininscing when a nurse popped her head into the waiting area and told him to get straight to the delivery room. As he entered the room his daughter was just making an appearance and the name he was searching for jumped straight into his head. ‘Scarlett!’ he shouted. It was lucky she turned out to have red hair…