She looks much like any other lady you might see swanning around town and to all intents and purposes she is. It would be difficult to distinguish her from a thousand others just like her if you didn’t happen to know her a bit better. And what would distinguish her in this modern world of tinder dating, digital photography and deliveroo would be the fact that she likes to do things the old fashioned way. That isn’t to say she isn’t aware these modern conveniences but just that she prefers the old school, hands-on style experience. And who’s to say she’s wrong…
‘A little old fashioned that’s all’ is still available via Play Dead gallery until 16th Feb. They’re A2 and are £130 a pop if anyone wants to give them a new home.
After our enforced spring clean we were left with a few canvases that were in no fit state to be sold but not quite damaged enough to be binned. Hmmmm… What to do?
Well we finally decided to give them a quick update then find them a new home on the sweet streets of Brixton complete with one way security screws to ensure they had a chance of staying put…
First up we have Fernando who is an inveterate teller of fibs. He once stopped an old lady in the street and proceeded to tell her the story of the time he saved a herd of unicorns from an angry stray cat who just so happened to be the size of a small horse by making a rudimentary laser pointer out of a toilet tube, some elastic from his underpants and a single match.
The old dear listened for just a few seconds and from nowhere suddenly pulled out a magic wand and mumbled some magic words. Fernando hadn’t yet noticed but, obviously, his nose began to grow as he kept talking but the old lady didn’t care, she just ambled away to the shops. What’s the moral of this story? You’ll just have to work it out for yourself…
With a touch of the devil in her eyes, this lady is an inhuman force to be reckoned with. She can give just a side glance at any unsuspecting passerby and they will be under her spell, never seemingly to properly return to the land of the living ever again.
All they seem to be able to do with themselves is sing on the chorus to The Trammps 1976 hit ‘Disco Inferno’ on constant repeat. Now not that I dislike the song but when you’re walking around in your local neighbourhood going about your daily life it can get quite tiresome when nearly every passerby is belting it out at the top of their voice and it doesn’t help when they all sound like a gang of drunk cats about to jump in to a swimming pool. I may need to do something about all this…
Due to incestuous breeding practices between many of the European royal houses over the last few centuries, poor Otto here has an unprecedented cross to bear which could have only come about due to these bizarre and ultimately unhealthy practises.
The problem arises due to the fact that poor Otto is now the king of four different European countries. Don’t ask me how this happened but I believe it has something to do with some arcane royal protocols that no one thought to have a look at and change.
If that wasn’t enough poor Otto was born with eyes that some in private circles have called bug-like and a head that is as flat as a tabletop. Now, this wouldn’t be too much of an issue apart from when it comes to making sure his crowns stay firmly in place…
It is painted on 60×60 cm canvas and made using the magic of inspiration, acrylic, pastel and spray paint.
In my mind there’s not much creepier than a disembodied doll’s head staring at you blankly with it’s huge eyes as you walk quietly by minding your own business. So I think if our goal was instil a sense of disquiet in you then perhaps we’ve succeeded.
I’d really love to know our intentions when this was created. Unfortunately we’ll now never know as those reasons have been lost to the mists of time. All we’ve got is this so it’s time to spread the love..
In our continuing crusade on sales ‘To Bite the Bullet’ is on eBay and can be found on eBay – https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/392147819548
According to the internet an idiom is ‘A group of words established by usage as having a meaning not deducible from those of the individual words’. We are called ‘id-iom’ and ‘to bite the bullet’ is an idiom. You can see what we’ve done there can’t you?
This piece is painted on a 49 x 40cm box canvas (3.5cm deep) and features some little googly eyes. What more could you want?
So we have decided to revive a bit of graffiti that was found all over the Isle of Man when we were growing up and bring it to the mean streets of London. FSFO apparently meant ‘Financial Sector F**k Off’ and was daubed on walls in the 80’s purportedly in response to the increasing growth and power of the Island’s burgeoning finance sector. Personally I always preferred the other definition of the acronym- which was that it stood for ‘Free Sex for Onchan’ (which is a small town on the Island) and the idea that sexual liberation was one thing they were willing to fight for. FSFO!
I realise this picture is a little saucy but then again we are going to need it if we are going to win the campaign for ‘Free Sex For Onchan’. It is a simple yet profound piece about sex with Onchan’s new motto emblazoned proudly across the top. In fact that’s given me a thought. Maybe we should have got some rainbow colours on there?…