What do you do when a cockatiel lands on you and refuses to budge? This is the problem Martin here is currently dealing with and so far he doesn’t have scooby about the best way forward. All that he has managed so far is to christen him Gary.
Gary has been perched on his hand for the last 3 months now and chirps incessantly. Martin’s had enough. He’s called the RSPB but they thought he was pulling their leg then finally he tried his friend who has been known to go trophy hunting in Kenya but he wouldn’t do it because he had a dentist’s conference to go to and besides he already had 40 taxidermy cockatiels at home.
Martin now hasn’t slept for 72 hours as Gary has upped his chirping game. At times Martin thinks he can understand the chirps but at other times they sound like the discombobulating noises used in psychological operations in the 1950s. That is because Gary has been taught many techniques by the US military. Why is another question entirely…
It is A3 in size and made using imagination gouache, watercolour, and acrylic. If interested in giving it a new home don’t hesitate to get in touch.
Well, will you look at that. It’s only reveal day for my latest creation – a 3-in-1 mural of my cousin, Sandor. If you watch the video you can see that I’ve even dressed up for the occasion so you know it’s going to be pretty exciting. If you’re into that kind of thing.
Given that I was concerned that the different tapes at different angles could possibly be a bit visually jarring I’m pretty pleased with the end result. Let’s hope Sandor is too…
Step 1! We can have lots of fun. Step 2! There’s so much we can do. So we’d best narrow our options and decide on the most time consuming course of action then step to it. To up the ante a little I decided to use three different tapes set at three different angles not knowing if the final result would be an insult to both vision and art. But life is an experiment so we forge ever onward.
As you have likely spotted from one of the work in progress shots the temperature has now officially reached high enough that I’ve had to revert to my 90’s rapper look just to stay cool. Time is a harsh mistress it’s true but stay tuned for tomorrow’s exciting reveal all the same…
Bonus fact: In case you didn’t notice I hit you with some New Kid On The Block lyrics right at the start of this post. So there.
It’s now time to embark on a new 3 in 1 piece on my favourite bit of garden wall and I needed a willing new subject. Can you guess who it is? Well, who better than my cousin! Full marks if you guessed correctly although if you’re not family you’ve been doing some pretty hardcore surveillance. Congratulations either way.
If you didn’t recognise him you’re just going to have to trust me that it’s a pretty good likeness. The question is, how much further can I get done before the rain sets in? It’s sunny now but my weather app assures me not for much longer. Answers on a postcard…
With the lockdown easing it’s now time for the government to introduce ‘bubbles’ – and no, we’re not talking Michael Jackon’s reanimated chimpanzee.
Bubbles are defined as a group of people with whom you can have close physical contact. From Saturday, in England, single adults living alone – or single parents whose children are under 18 – can form a support bubble with one other household.
Now if you think this seems that the government are legitimising what the Dutch call a ‘seksbuddy’ then I think we’re on the same page. The other half of id-iom is always a little suspect when I paint nudes. He usually says the image has little meaning other than the pornographic and because of this I have loads of sketches of nudes. Only when I can shoehorn it into a good write up does it ever get past editorial and here is the government just dropping it in my lap. Not really sure why i chose watercolour as the medium for this one, i’m not particularly adept at using it. Practise makes perfect I suppose.
It is A4 in size and made using the magic of imagination, watercolour and pencil
Scruffy here doesn’t like cats and he never has. The way the prowl round like they own the place with their evil eye assessing any prey small enough and silly enough to get in their way. Oh yeah, they like getting their belly rubbed and are cute when their owner is about but, man, the things he’s seen them do when they think no one is looking beggars belief. Recently he’s been seeing a lot of cat video’s on the internet and he’s had just about enough.
No-one is saying graffiti is the answer. (It is though). He’s just a man on a mission to express himself. He’s just got finish this sentence first…
This piece doesn’t quite seem as relevant now at this point in the pandemic than when I started it back in week 1 of lockdown – but given my busy schedule I’ve only now got round to completing it. We always knew it was going to happen, the old ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ adage, but seeing Cummings and the like actually flaunt the rules and then make up creative reasons why their actions were completely reasonable is easily enough to get our collective indignation bubbling away.
So, given a map of London I thought it might be good to put this notion in a more graphical manner so you can easily determine if you are one of the hoi polloi or if you meet the requirements to do whatever you want wherever you like with whomever you see fit.
id-iom does not bear any responsibility for the geographical accuracy of this map however so you can stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
Step 1 – Find an old pencil sketch of Muhammad Ali that your dad did back in the 70’s in your auntie’s kitchen and decide that you want to do your own version of it. Attempt to find the reference photograph that he must have used but fail. #ali #muhammadali #mohammadali #mohammedali #stencil #art #contemporary #mural #paint #painting #wall #london #overcomplicated #sketch #70s #modern #street #urban #graffiti #lockdown #stepbystep #instructions It turns out Ali has been photographed thousands of times over the years and the internet is not particularly helpful when you can’t be very specific. No problem. You’ll just have to make the detail up yourself.
Step 2 – Using the arcane skills you’ve learned over the years turn the original sketch into a wall sized stencil and then apply to your wall in black. So far so good. This is easy.
Step 3 – After much deliberation about colour and the general direction you want the picture to take you decide on a nice bright red and go with the wallpaper with the hidden morse code message and sit back to admire your handiwork. You leave it overnight and decide to come back tomorrow to see if you’ve actually finished…
Step 4 – Have a harebrained idea about taking this piece next level by having it as three murals in one and then proceed to attempt to make this idea a reality. Constantly question whether it will work or just be an immense waste of your time. Add some detail to the hair area then try to take some classy shots. This could be as good as it gets. Really go for it and include the cat if you can and any other arty shots you can manage.
Step 5 – Apply tape to half the wall and then recolour the background in a vague approximation of the colours of the Islamic flag to denote his membership of the Nation of Islam in 1964 and his name change from Cassius Clay to Muhammad Ali. Your idea already sounds pretty highfalutin but you’ll go with it all the same.
Step 6 – Add some white to the background then, using your meagre skills at skin tone and having no reference pic to go from (other than the photo of your dad’s pencil sketch), colour the face in and try to make it look at least a little convincing. Hmmm. You’ll have to try a little harder than that.
Step 7 – Fuss around for ages trying to get the skin tone looking at least a bit more believable. That’s a bit better. Best to stop now before you go too far. Admire your handiwork and take another pic. That’s two murals down. There’s no turning back now.
Step 8 – It’s reveal time! Find the ends of the tape that you applied to the wall in Step 5 and yank that stuff straight off the wall. You’re now officially a performance artist.
Step 9 – Now you get to see if your plan actually worked. Admire your handiwork and take a few more pics. Job done. Congratulations. Then it’s time to wonder if anyone has done this kind of thing before or if you’ve finally found your thing. Think about this for approximately five minutes before your attention is diverted by the next shiny idea to pass through your brain.
Things have been getting a little weird since lockdown. The intense boredom and general anxiety mix together in some odd combinations. In order to combat this I thought a self-portrait may be in order. I was wrong.
Looking at the paper in front of me I saw myself staring back or at least some facsimile of me – but things just weren’t quite right. The head too elongated, the nose too small but the dead, lifeless eyes I seemed to have got just right.
Then I realised it wasn’t really me but that unflinching dolt High Risk Hugo. A stain on society if ever I saw one. A man who on his good days was more like Chuck Norris on flakka trying to chat up your girlfriend but on his bad days the social equivalent of someone slipping a dead slug in your mouth and holding it shut.
I’ll not be doing another selfie anytime soon. We don’t need to let that particular cat out of the bag…
You’ll be glad to know I prevailed in the mexican standoff with Patrick here. His phone rang. I signalled with my eyes that it would be cool to take the call. He wandered off to take said call and I struck. Hitting the wall with what I imagined to be the cover of Patrick’s newest imaginary Afrofunk single. Straight from the mean streets of Mombasa and fresh from his new collaboration album with Seun Kuti and Staff Benda Bilili. You’ll also be glad to hear it’s shooting up the imaginary Afrofunk charts as I write. Life can be sweet, even in these dark times…