Bored of waiting for coronavirus to come to you? Well now you don’t have to. Corona have bowed to the inevitable and teamed up with the world renowned creators of Covid 19 to bring you this zesty and infectious small batch artisanal version of their classic brew. Great for 14 day mini breaks at home or abroad.
I’ve been trying to resist the obvious Corona label update but temptation finally got the better of me. C’mon ‘zesty notes which are enhanced by adding a wedge of lime.’ is just not going to cut it with today’s hyper paranoid world view where the beer Corona has somehow been inextricably linked to a global pandemic. So i’ve fixed that at least.
Nothing says sophistication quite like a plastic glass of Merlot. To this end Minivino have got the market cornered. After reading the supermarket description of such a marvellous creation I decided it needed something a bit more fitting.
If this was an 80’s film this would now be the montage section where I purloin the label, scan it, find fonts, use my computer and finally print out the finished product. We’d then segue back to me walking up the street about to complete my mission with the supermarket insertion of my replacement label. Cue credits.
There I was, minding my own business, whilst perusing the aisles of my local supermarket. I happened to glance at a bottle of Dead Pony Club by Brewdog and realised the supermarket description (‘Pale Ale 3.8% is brewed with a solid malt base’ – blah, blah, blah) did no favours to a drink with such a name. I decided to use my overactive imagination as a guide to remedy this with a description a bit more fitting…
If this was an 80’s film this would now be the montage section where I scan, find fonts, use my computer and finally print out the finished product. We’d then segue back to me walking up the street about to complete my mission with the supermarket insertion of my replacement label. Cue credits.
I was accosted the other day whilst perusing the aisles of my local supermarket. There I was browsing through their extensive range of packaged meat when someone sidles up beside me and says ‘Keep your eyes straight ahead. Nod once if you want some Clarky Cat.’ I slowly shake my head and just catch a glimpse of the mysterious man next to me. By the time I fully look round all I can see is his back receding swiftly down the aisle. A little shaken I abandon my shop and dash home but unfortunately this was the best photofit I could pull out. I think I nailed his eyes at least. Stay vigilant.
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