Gary was a real cock(atiel)

What do you do when a cockatiel lands on you and refuses to budge? This is the problem Martin here is currently dealing with and so far he doesn’t have scooby about the best way forward. All that he has managed so far is to christen him Gary.

Gary has been perched on his hand for the last 3 months now and chirps incessantly. Martin’s had enough. He’s called the RSPB but they thought he was pulling their leg then finally he tried his friend who has been known to go trophy hunting in Kenya but he wouldn’t do it because he had a dentist’s conference to go to and besides he already had 40 taxidermy cockatiels at home. 

Martin now hasn’t slept for 72 hours as Gary has upped his chirping game. At times Martin thinks he can understand the chirps but at other times they sound like the discombobulating noises used in psychological operations in the 1950s. That is because Gary has been taught many techniques by the US military. Why is another question entirely…

It is A3 in size and made using imagination gouache, watercolour, and acrylic. If interested in giving it a new home don’t hesitate to get in touch.

Cheers

id-iom

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The Mousetrap

Recently my washing machine broke down so I had to use the local laundrette to wash my clothes. Never having used one before I wasn’t really sure what to expect but I’m certainly sure that what I did witness was not what you would call the norm. 

When I walked in a couldn’t see a soul until I walked around the first bank of machines, to my surprise I caught this lady sitting on a washing machine writhing about, legs akimbo, whimpering to herself. My first thought was this was some reenactment of the famous scene from ‘When Harry met Sally’ but as I looked closer I could see the tail of some small rodent sticking out the bottom of her trouser leg. To say I was shocked would be an understatement, I dropped my washing and ran as fast as my legs could take me from the place and left her to deal with the situation herself. Now I know it’s not the most chivalrous response one could have but I just felt the fact that I was wearing shorts was enough of a reason to high tail it out of there in case it came at me with its pointed snout, small rounded ears and pink scaly tail. I certainly wasn’t going to be caught in this little fellas well thought out trap…

Cheers

id-iom