I’ll be all white

Brian had been in the garden drinking his morning cup of tea admiring the plants and animals like something from a Disney movie. Whilst sauntering around the garden transfixed by the flora and fauna in front of him Brian hadn’t realised that the greater weed hawk must have landed on his shoulder without him realising. 

He didn’t know how long the cheeba hawk had been roosting there but obviously long enough for the inevitable to happen. Brian managed a quick glance at the ashtray in front of him, full to the brim. He was sure that it was empty when he first came out this morning and was wondering how it was now full when what had actually happened came clear to him before the white mist surrounded him. With his mental acuity crumbling he needed to find a spot on the sofa to weather the storm. 

This was when he first realised the sinister cawing of cheeba hawk rattling around his otherwise empty head. Twenty minutes later and the white fog seemed to evaporate leaving Brian cold and hungry on his sofa. ‘I’ll be all white’ he said to himself before getting up and putting on the kettle.

It is A4 in size and made using the magic of imagination, oil paints, acrylic and paint pen.

Cheers

id-iom

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Hell IS other people

Here I have paraphrased Jean-Paul Satre because in his play Huis Clos, or No Exit, he doesn’t actually mean people are the absolute worst when one of the characters says “L’enfer, c’est les autres” but in this case that is exactly what I mean.

There I was going on my first excursion outside in about 5 days due to the fact that I have underlying conditions. The sun was out, the breeze whipping through my wispy geography teacher style hair (cheers lockdown!) when I noticed the first idiot coming for me. 

It was a middle aged woman who for some unknown reason crossed the road and walked straight towards me. Not 2 metres in front or behind me but exactly to my location. Luckily for the lady, I didn’t have The Answerer with me, a hefty blackthorn staff blessed by the gods who just loves being used to beat the stupid out of people especially when they don’t adhere to scientific recommendations. Think Thor’s hammers Mjolnir or Stormbreaker but instead of the unworthy not being able to pick up the weapon, the unworthy get a knock upside their head in the hopes it might shake loose some intelligence….

It is A2 in size and made using pencil, watercolour, acrylic and spray paint

Cheers

id-iom

21 grams pure white

There was a scientific study published in 1907 by Duncan MacDougall which hypothesised that souls have a physical weight and this could be measured by simply weighing a patient both before and after death. The weight that he came up with for the soul? Why 21 grams of course. I’m just guessing at it’s purity and colour with ‘pure white’ but I think we’d all be a little disappointed if it was black and mixed up with some other bodily detritus like a dirty little snot ball.

Anyway, if you’ve ever wanted an id-iom piece but didn’t have the dollar then worry no further. We’re doing a little edition of A4 hot foil prints for £15 unframed (+ postage). Drop us a line if you’re interested in ’21 grams pure white’.

Cheers

id-iom

Demotivational Poster No. 9 – Think of the exposure

Do you insist on doing stuff for people for free? Does your time not really have any value in the eyes of others? Do you get a thrill at being told what to do but getting no ££ for it? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions then we have just the product for you! id-iom’s new range of demotivational posters are ideal to give you that extra little nudge you need to justify to yourself whatever decision you’re about to make. It’s that simple! Anyone can use them!

Today’s piece is one for the artists out there. Unlike just about any other professions I can think of there is some weird thing with artists where people seem to expect you to work for free on the basis that doing whatever job they’re suggesting would be good exposure for you. You try that with a plumber and I’m pretty sure what happens next.

 

She’s on A2 paper and is made using the magic of spraypaint, stencils and imagination. We have one in white to suggest the naivety with which you approach this offer the first time you hear it and one in black to suggest the mood you’d likely be in when you hear it for the second time that week…

Cheers

id-iom

The White Crown

Well, painting outside is certainly not as much fun as it was even just a few weeks ago. It’s cold, the light is bad to begin with and fades very quickly and paint takes ages to dry. Bah humbug. Today’s piece is based on a photo taken in much warmer climes however. The beautiful Islas Mujeres in sunny Mexico to be precise. We decided we’d work with that and then try to get a bit weird. After a few false starts The White Crown is the final result and I’m quite happy with how it all turned out. What entirely it all means is difficult to fathom but sometimes you just have to let the Muse take you wherever it is you’re going. At least we got there in the end.

Cheers

id-iom

I said I wouldn’t…

It’s probably just me but I think the phrase ‘I said I wouldn’t but I did it anyway’ has a kind of roguish charm to it. Pretty much a pirate amongst phrases. Why I saw fit to combine it with 80’s icon Pac-Man giving you a wink & a cheeky thumbs up and a weird black and white optical illusion style background is tricky to explain but I did it anyway. Designing and laser cutting the image on wood was the easy part. Hand painting the thing proved to be a bit trickier but I got there eventually. Now what to do with it? Perhaps  the street beckons…

Cheers

id-iom

When you run out of paper

Sometimes, when you’ve run out of paper but the Muse is still riding you like a seaside donkey there’s nowt for it but to grab whatever is at hand and set to work. A newspaper advert for an estate agents was the selected canvas and a slightly sinister face in black and white was the preferred image. Don’t ask me why because I really don’t know. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. If only I can find where I’ve put this then it may eventually makes it way to the Wheatpaste Department and then onto the street – unless someone demands it in their life. Which would be a bit odd. But stranger things have happened at sea. Or so they say.

Cheers

id-iom

We don’t care

It’s a simple enough message from us today. But at least we’ve made it look nice. If you look at it for long enough it makes your eyes go a bit funny. It’s probably best to just trust me on that. In fact I think I’d go so far to say that I’ve accidentally employed some kind of optical illusion when I was really just trying to make the font stand out. I think this little bad lad is going to get some magnets glued to the back and then become a bit of street art in some hard-to-reach area. I now just need some method of application where I can get him higher than you can reach on a handy piece of metal…

Cheers

id-iom

A gentle reminder

The back of the door into the gents toilet at the White Horse had seen better days and was festooned with an array of hastily scribbled tags and football related slurs so we were asked to sprinkle a little id-iom magic on it and make it all better. Given that a lot of their customers on a weekend have definitely had a few jars we thought we’d give them a discreet reminder of exactly where they were so hopefully when they wake bleary eyed the next day there is no confusion over exactly where they’ve been.

That, plus the pair of eyes at the bottom of the door (which I read somewhere make people believe they’re being watched and so behave better) and the fact that there’s not much space for any extra graffiti will hopefully allow the door to remain relatively unscathed for longer. That’s the theory at least…

As an aside I really should remember that doing somewhat complicated lettering that must be aligned straight and true is easy at the design stage but really rather less so at the actual painting stage. Let that be a lesson to me.

Cheers

id-iom

id-iom England shirt (sort of…)

One of our local pubs asked if we could come up with a design for a t-shirt for their staff to wear during the upcoming World Cup. Despite the fact that we aren’t actually English we thought it only fair to come up with a design. The logo on the back is an adapted version of the World Cup logo which, obviously, features a white horse.

Cheers

id-iom