With the end of lockdown now in sight, we can now start to start thinking about the future and that’s exactly what Margery here intended to do. Before she fell asleep all she could think of was holidays to far flung parts of the globe where she would be invited to urbane parties with exclusive guest lists where she was the guest of honour. She wasn’t yet sure why she was the guest of honour but that’s what she hoped to find out over the next night’s sleep.
Sadly that wasn’t the case. Instead of dreams of living the high life with the world’s elite, she had dreams that left her more exhausted than anything else. She found herself traipsing through clouds like the Care Bears but instead of frolicking in the sun she was chasing ducks but didn’t know why. It was all very confusing for her. On top of that, her teeth kept falling out and growing back every time the ducks would quack at her.
This seemed to go on for hours until at one point when she was within a couple of inches from grabbing a duck when her foot started to sink into the cloud she was walking on. Suddenly she fell through the cloud and was hurtling through the air towards the ever nearing earth. Just as she was about to hit the ground she woke up with a start, knocking the glass of water on her bedside table all over herself and her cat which proceeded to dash from the room clawing her leg viciously as it scarpered for safety. After looking at herself in the mirror and assessing the bags under her eyes and the damage done from the cat she wasn’t particularly looking forward to going back to sleep anytime soon…
Our first mural of 2021 has been a long time coming but a couple of days ago the clouds parted long enough for the sun to briefly pop its head out to say hello. That cheery greeting was enough for us to put on our painting jackets and get outside for a bit of freestyle al fresco painting.
We’d recently given the wall a spa day in preparation for mural season and stripped her back to her under layers but we’d stopped short of giving her a new coat of white because we both agreed the wall looked pretty cool as it was. A free background if you will. Time to put it to use.
All we had to start with was the basic stencil of the woman and after a fair bit of hoohah about what exactly we were doing we ended up with is the lady with the copper earrings here. She looks like she knows stuff she’s not going to tell you. And that’s most certainly the case. You just don’t have the correct security clearances.
In the post-apocalyptic landscape of discarded digital art and unfinished 3D models Janine moved unnoticed in the shadows and had survived five update cycles now by feasting on the binary code of unsuspecting half finished designs. She wondered how she would ever get out of development hell. She had tried everything she could think of – from corrupting her own code to impersonating another file format – with no success. Then, early one morning, BAM! It happened. She had been minted. Finally. She could now progress her plans once they hooked her up to the blockchain…
This morning i just couldn’t think of anything clever or amusing for the write up for this piece, so whilst racking my brain I thought i’d have a quick trawl of the interweb to see if i could find any inspiration. It wasn’t looking great until I came across an article about google’s new poetry AI and that’s when things started to fall into place. So instead of some well thought out prose I give you some poetry created by a computer after a little nudge in the right direction by myself. I hope you enjoy:
Psychology of Pink
First I fell into an idle bed;
Drowning all a feeling with a think
To breathe those flowers upon my head.
Psychology of blue
He knew that an artist, an marked school,
Brought on its heart, like the distant dew
As if a dog I might paint a fool?
Now if that doesn’t strike a chord i’m pretty sure you are dead inside…
The bird-like nest on top of Diane’s head is actually her hair after just 2 sips of white wine after work on a Thursday. She intends on doing the whole bottle. She knows she has work again tomorrow but she just doesn’t care. That’s working from home for you. She read online that she can now change her hairstyle digitally using the magical power of her computer. If she can only work out how it all works then her next Zoom call should prove a little more interesting and perhaps Phillip from Marketing might finally take some notice. If not she’s going to send him a virus from a made-up but believable email address and see how he likes that instead…
When someone asks you whether you want to pop out for a pint in these weird and testing times what is your answer? Judy here is trying her best to stick to government guidelines but she just doesn’t know anymore and that’s about pretty much everything.
What is the colour of your eyes? I don’t know. When is your birthday? Not sure. What is the colour of an orange? Pink? It’s all just a little too much for poor Judy. Her eyes are now just hollowed out depressions in the front of her face, her nose is as red as Rudolph’s and she hasn’t even had a drink in the last few weeks or at least she doesn’t think she has.
Judy has found the easiest way to answer questions nowadays is to just start replying with affirmative and negative interjections and other assorted phrases until people either get the answer they are looking for or they think she is mad. Either method seems to work. I haven’t tried this technique yet but it looks like there might be some merit to it…
Have you ever looked in the mirror and been scared stiff with what is staring back at you? Marjorie has and she’s still reeling from it.
She thought she had the look of a powerful business woman from the 80’s, instead she looks like the reanimated corpse of a long dead Margaret Thatcher – whom I suppose was a woman of power in the 80’s – but it was disconcerting all the same.
The weird thing was after stepping away from the mirror Marjore could still feel the ex-Prime Minister’s presence and the feeling never left. Majorie has learnt to embrace the situation and now has a private investigations firm called ‘Paranormal PM PI’. She hasn’t had many jobs yet but she’s sure Maggie’s malign presence will surely come in handy soon. It’s early doors for these two. Watch this space…
It is A5 in size and made using pencil, fine line pen and triblend markers
During the pandemic some people haven’t been able to get their kicks where they usually would due to everyone being stuck indoors. This has resulted in a few problems here for Chanel, she always been a bit into voyeurism but due to lockdown can’t exorcise those demons and has resorted to some pretty ingenious ways to get her kicks.
First, she tried webcams but there was no fun in that at all, everyone knew she was watching them. Then she thought a simple bit of people watching out her bedroom window would work but with the shops closed and her living in the centre of town that didn’t work out too well.
Eventually, she came across the notion of watching people through their letterboxes. If she’s careful enough not to make a noise the only thing that gives Chanel away is the occasional gust of cold air through the letterbox then it’s usually time to beat a hasty retreat….
It is A2 in size and made using acrylic, watercolour and paint pen.
We’ve all been there, you’re having a massive argument with some insufferable dolt and for one reason or another you storm off, only to come up with the wittiest retort known to mankind but alas you’re too late. L’esprit de l’escalier is a French term used in English for the predicament of thinking of the perfect reply just a bit too late.
Just imagine, Sarah here is now storming down the stairs from a party where she just had the weirdest argument with Michael and Justin from no.22. Now she’s about six stairs down her brain has just supplied her with the perfect retort to Justin’s ridiculous argument that Trump was probably right about injecting bleach. Now her biggest question is whether to remain walking down the stairs and retain some dignity or aboutheel back to the party to loudly point out to Justin the fallacies in his reasoning and the fact he’s undoubtedly talking bollocks. Decisions, decisions, decisions…
With the lockdown easing it’s now time for the government to introduce ‘bubbles’ – and no, we’re not talking Michael Jackon’s reanimated chimpanzee.
Bubbles are defined as a group of people with whom you can have close physical contact. From Saturday, in England, single adults living alone – or single parents whose children are under 18 – can form a support bubble with one other household.
Now if you think this seems that the government are legitimising what the Dutch call a ‘seksbuddy’ then I think we’re on the same page. The other half of id-iom is always a little suspect when I paint nudes. He usually says the image has little meaning other than the pornographic and because of this I have loads of sketches of nudes. Only when I can shoehorn it into a good write up does it ever get past editorial and here is the government just dropping it in my lap. Not really sure why i chose watercolour as the medium for this one, i’m not particularly adept at using it. Practise makes perfect I suppose.
It is A4 in size and made using the magic of imagination, watercolour and pencil