The bird-like nest on top of Diane’s head is actually her hair after just 2 sips of white wine after work on a Thursday. She intends on doing the whole bottle. She knows she has work again tomorrow but she just doesn’t care. That’s working from home for you. She read online that she can now change her hairstyle digitally using the magical power of her computer. If she can only work out how it all works then her next Zoom call should prove a little more interesting and perhaps Phillip from Marketing might finally take some notice. If not she’s going to send him a virus from a made-up but believable email address and see how he likes that instead…
When someone asks you whether you want to pop out for a pint in these weird and testing times what is your answer? Judy here is trying her best to stick to government guidelines but she just doesn’t know anymore and that’s about pretty much everything.
What is the colour of your eyes? I don’t know. When is your birthday? Not sure. What is the colour of an orange? Pink? It’s all just a little too much for poor Judy. Her eyes are now just hollowed out depressions in the front of her face, her nose is as red as Rudolph’s and she hasn’t even had a drink in the last few weeks or at least she doesn’t think she has.
Judy has found the easiest way to answer questions nowadays is to just start replying with affirmative and negative interjections and other assorted phrases until people either get the answer they are looking for or they think she is mad. Either method seems to work. I haven’t tried this technique yet but it looks like there might be some merit to it…
Have you ever looked in the mirror and been scared stiff with what is staring back at you? Marjorie has and she’s still reeling from it.
She thought she had the look of a powerful business woman from the 80’s, instead she looks like the reanimated corpse of a long dead Margaret Thatcher – whom I suppose was a woman of power in the 80’s – but it was disconcerting all the same.
The weird thing was after stepping away from the mirror Marjore could still feel the ex-Prime Minister’s presence and the feeling never left. Majorie has learnt to embrace the situation and now has a private investigations firm called ‘Paranormal PM PI’. She hasn’t had many jobs yet but she’s sure Maggie’s malign presence will surely come in handy soon. It’s early doors for these two. Watch this space…
It is A5 in size and made using pencil, fine line pen and triblend markers
During the pandemic some people haven’t been able to get their kicks where they usually would due to everyone being stuck indoors. This has resulted in a few problems here for Chanel, she always been a bit into voyeurism but due to lockdown can’t exorcise those demons and has resorted to some pretty ingenious ways to get her kicks.
First, she tried webcams but there was no fun in that at all, everyone knew she was watching them. Then she thought a simple bit of people watching out her bedroom window would work but with the shops closed and her living in the centre of town that didn’t work out too well.
Eventually, she came across the notion of watching people through their letterboxes. If she’s careful enough not to make a noise the only thing that gives Chanel away is the occasional gust of cold air through the letterbox then it’s usually time to beat a hasty retreat….
It is A2 in size and made using acrylic, watercolour and paint pen.
We’ve all been there, you’re having a massive argument with some insufferable dolt and for one reason or another you storm off, only to come up with the wittiest retort known to mankind but alas you’re too late. L’esprit de l’escalier is a French term used in English for the predicament of thinking of the perfect reply just a bit too late.
Just imagine, Sarah here is now storming down the stairs from a party where she just had the weirdest argument with Michael and Justin from no.22. Now she’s about six stairs down her brain has just supplied her with the perfect retort to Justin’s ridiculous argument that Trump was probably right about injecting bleach. Now her biggest question is whether to remain walking down the stairs and retain some dignity or aboutheel back to the party to loudly point out to Justin the fallacies in his reasoning and the fact he’s undoubtedly talking bollocks. Decisions, decisions, decisions…
With the lockdown easing it’s now time for the government to introduce ‘bubbles’ – and no, we’re not talking Michael Jackon’s reanimated chimpanzee.
Bubbles are defined as a group of people with whom you can have close physical contact. From Saturday, in England, single adults living alone – or single parents whose children are under 18 – can form a support bubble with one other household.
Now if you think this seems that the government are legitimising what the Dutch call a ‘seksbuddy’ then I think we’re on the same page. The other half of id-iom is always a little suspect when I paint nudes. He usually says the image has little meaning other than the pornographic and because of this I have loads of sketches of nudes. Only when I can shoehorn it into a good write up does it ever get past editorial and here is the government just dropping it in my lap. Not really sure why i chose watercolour as the medium for this one, i’m not particularly adept at using it. Practise makes perfect I suppose.
It is A4 in size and made using the magic of imagination, watercolour and pencil
So we’ve got the final part of our triptych up today. Like the other parts it’s detailing someone dealing with lockdown. Rachel here is in a different boat to the others however.
Rachel has a nice house, big garden, investment banker husband and has always been a high achiever. She’s been attempting to treat the lockdown like an opportunity and was doing magnificently for the first two weeks. She’s been acing home schooling and has even been teaching little Sebastian some basic Mandarin on the side but the cracks are beginning to show. She thought she heard Sebastian swear and almost burst into tears. She’s now eyeing the bottle of gin in the drawing room. It’s not even 11am.
So there you go. We all deal with lockdown differently. Just try not to be the guy in the second picture and we should all be fine.
Whether they be truck drivers, cleaners, retail workers, doctors, nurses, tech monkeys or in this case a naked winged celestial being there are angels amongst us during this most testing of times.
In fact, this divine messenger is not here to help as such but more to chastise all the idiots of the world. Just yesterday she had to head to Snowdonia to shame all the idiots who thought flouting the rules in rural North Wales would be a good idea. She also had to spend a bit of time flitting round the coast of the entire UK in order to deter people from congregating in groups, mainly by helping out the pirates of the sea (seagulls) steal peoples chips and generally make a raucous nuisance of themselves. A small but surprisingly effective method to encourage social distancing…
It’s funny what you can find on Wikipedia when searching for something entirely unrelated and how that can lead directly to inspiration. Which is always tricky to find.
Here we have a piece based on Valentina Tereshkova who was the first and youngest woman to have flown in space with a solo mission in 1963. She orbited the earth 48 times, spent almost three days in space, and remains the only woman to have been on a solo space mission. And at only 26 years old to boot. You really should check her out. An interesting lady.
Like other spacefarers, some of her words have been immortalised. Her call sign for the mission was ‘Seagull’. Valentina is known for saying:
‘It is I, Seagull! Everything is fine. I see the horizon; it’s a sky blue with a dark strip. How beautiful the Earth is … everything is going well.’
And that was enough to inspire me to create this. Whatever will I find next on the internet…
On A2 and made using acrylic, spray paint, paint pen and pencil
Karen had never even been anywhere near China. The closest she’d come was the china Wedgewood plate set that had been given her by her aunt and she’d disinfected the whole set just to be sure as soon as the whole Coronavirus thing had started in China. She’d been fretting for days. She’d even made her son burn his entire collection of Wu Tang Clan music and memorabilia to be on the safe side because it sounds a bit like Wuhan. Yet, when she looked in the mirror she knew something wasn’t right. Despite all her precautions, it would appear she’d come down with something after all…
It is A2 in size and made using gouache, acrylic, oil pastel, googly eyes and a touch of imagination.