Tag Archives: woman

Vampire midwinter

Summer solstice is here again. Which is a good time for us humans with those long summery days but think about the poor vampires. This proud vampire lady has been reduced to taking twice daily cold blood showers in her dark and dank underground mausoleum. She hasn’t left for weeks and probably won’t for some time to come. Her neighbours think she’s off in the Caribbean for summertime – as always. In reality she’s been subsisting on a diet of fresh meat delivered by Waitrose and illegally streaming Netflix over her neighbours wifi. Even one minute in those glorious summer rays would reduce her to a pile of ash. Spare a thought.

She’s lasercut on wood at 39 x 26cm and then handpainted. Once you’ve added some crystal resin to represent the cold blood showers and a few little bats to represent her cheeky take on vampire home decor and you’ve got another successful id-iom piece. Drop us a line if interested…

Cheers

id-iom

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My most awkward dance at work

My most awkward dance at work

My most awkward dance at work

If you’ve ever been to an office Xmas party and reflected the next day that perhaps your drunken and impromptu Justin Timberlake impression with Nicole from accounts was probably somewhat awkward and inappropriate then spare a thought for poor Chantelle here.

She had made a last minute decision to do some exotic dancing for the bikers on the Isle of Man during TT week to earn a bit of cash for her upcoming family holiday for her dad’s 50th. On her third night, in the midst of some pretty athletic pole gyrations, in walks her dad with a group of his friends who’d secretly arranged a boys trip to the TT for him for his upcoming birthday. After she’d spotted him to say she felt a little awkward would be something of an understatement but being a professional she could do nothing but continue until the song finally finished.

She’d managed to avoid making eye contact with her father and his group but as she departed the stage after picking up her meagre elements of clothing from where she’d cast them she could hear someone shouting for more. Fat chance of that she thought as she pondered the more pressing question of how to tell her dad what her job had really been for the past couple of years.

Cheers

id-iom

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Other Peoples Graffiti (Food for Thought update)

Whilst making our way through sunny Streatham we chanced upon the boards we painted for the Streatham Food Festival last year that were still in place. There’s a couple of minor tags and what seems to be a lot of white paint that has been thrown at it. On closer inspection it would seem that the main culprit in defacing our picture is, in fact, the pigeons that live on the guttering above and have deposited their thoughts on the piece from on high. It would indeed seem that everyone is a critic.

Cheers

id-iom

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Good morning Mr Zip-Zip-Zip!

Good morning, Mister Zip-Zip-Zip,
You’re surely looking fine!
Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust,
If the Camels don’t get you,
The Fatimas must.

Here we have some pretty interesting lyrics taken from 1918 ragtime classic ‘Good Morning Mr Zip-Zip-Zip’ where ‘Camels’ and ‘Fatimas’ are apparently references to cigarette brands that were popular at the time. The tune was a favourite with US soldiers during the World War 1 era and was available as sheet music for piano, band, orchestra and male quartet as well as for talking machine or player piano.

Just why the muse demanded I juxtapose this with a rather racy looking young lady clutching a couple of water pistols you’ll have to work out for yourself. It’s laser engraved on wood then hand painted and stands proud at 39 x 26cm. Drop us a line if you’re interested…

Cheers

id-iom

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I don’t really listen to music (Phil Collins – No Context Required)

Quelle surprise – Phil Collins doesn’t really  listen to music. I would imagine he ingests it in some entirely novel way that your average man on the street wouldn’t even be able to fully comprehend. Maybe he senses it using his musical intuition or perhaps he experiences it through bone conduction whilst floating in a pool of saltwater while small fish gently nibble his skin. Who knows? All I know for sure is that internet informed me of today’s out of context Phil quote. He apparently said it at some point and that’s more than good enough for me.

Anyway, I’ve juxtaposed his quote with a rather sultry looking supermodel. Once you’ve liberally sprinkled a couple of pilfered logos in and adorned it with a green & red background then you’re good to go with another successful ‘No context required’ piece. It’s laser engraved on wood then hand painted and stands proud at 39 x 26cm. Drop us a line if you’re interested…

Cheers

id-iom

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Bit of a disappointment (Phil Collins – No Context Required)

Frankly I think I’ve nailed today’s ‘No Context Required’ piece – the main aim of which is to present Phil Collins quotes in new and unusual ways in order to try and exorcise him from my thoughts. If you were a male child in the 80’s you could hardly have missed Sam Fox and her undoubted charms. I’ve collocated her coquettish pose with Phil’s quote equating songwriting to child rearing and how disappointing the end result can be. Given Sam’s own glittering music career – and who can forget her 1986 classic ‘touch me (I want your body) – I thought Phil’s quote was particularly fitting. So there you have it.

Once you’ve liberally sprinkled a few pilfered logos in and adorned it with a grey background with some hearts then you’re good to go with another successful ‘No context required’ piece. It’s laser engraved on wood then hand painted and stands proud at 39 x 26cm. Drop us a line if you’re interested…

Cheers

id-iom

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