Podiatric Princess

Women love shoes. We’re not ones to make sweeping generalisations so you can take this fact as true. It’s also true that some men have a sneaker addiction but that’s not entirely relevant right now. Podiatric Princess here is now available on eBay. 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/392147820683

Advertisement

The Midas Touch

The Midas Touch

Hands up who knows the story of the King Midas and his golden touch? Well, it’s the story of a greedy and foolish man whose wish to have everything he touched turn to gold became reality. He soon came to realise that this wasn’t quite as great as he thought as having food and drink turn to gold made life pretty difficult.

Now look at the subject of our picture. Here is a man who seems to have everything and but as the picture states ‘yet still he cried’. He had it all;  women, jewels, drugs, money, all the wealth of the world but unfortunately that means little to a man who can’t enjoy them. The folly of human greed is a tale he is surely learning the hard way as he cries himself to sleep worrying that his fortune will be taken from him and that he can trust no-one. As they saying goes – money can’t buy you love.

Cheers

id-iom

I’ve got a dirty mind

I’ve got a dirty mind

There’s something that has been becoming ever more clear in my mind the older I get and that is that nearly all women are truly depraved. On the surface they may seem composed and serene but in reality they can match any man when it comes to filthy and impure thoughts. When women are in groups the kind of things they talk about aren’t shopping or any new beauty regimes, what is actually talked about is just down right dirty and I don’t mean anything so crass as ‘lady troubles’.

These women talk about anything any group of men will talk about but its nearly always about 10 times worse with incredible bouts of vulgarity. The only reason i know this is a technique i’ve learnt called ‘keeping mum and getting drunk’ which, if you’re good at, will eventually lead to them chattering away and forgetting that you are even there. It is at this point that the magic really starts. Next time I’m in half a mind to try and record it – although i’d probably have to fear for my safety for a long time afterwards…

Cheers

id-iom

Because he’s mine and I want to…

Because he’s mine and i want to

I’m somewhat annoyed with myself. I came up with the title for this piece quite easily as it’s obviously emblazoned right across the front of the picture but i’m already thinking that was a trap best avoided. It’s because whenever I see the title an earworm attacks and I can’t help but think of the soul destroying tedium of Billie Piper with her number 1 smash hit ‘Because we want to‘. I’d include a link to it but for some reason you can’t get it on youtube and i’d just be being cruel anyway.

I think the inspiration behind this piece is the idea that some women can get a little possessive over their man and then blame it on a little thing called love. Although the lack of clothing on this particular lady would suggest that she is using her power in an entirely different way…

Cheers

id-iom

A Face for Radio

A Face for radio

This girl is undoubtedly beautiful on the inside but in this day and age I would imagine she would be considered to have a good face for radio. I think it’s the pouty bottom lip and the mismatched eyes. Although there is nothing wrong with that as I have mismatched eyes and a somewhat pouty bottom lip (especially when sulking) although I, of course, am stunningly good looking and my asymmetry is part of my charm…

More and more these days though, the less fortunate (i.e less photogenic) men and women of the world (‘interesting looking’ as my mum would say) are being moved aside and being replaced by identikit facsimiles of some supposed beauty. Just take a look at FHM’s hot 1oo sexiest women. Now I haven’t read FHM since I was about 14 but its pretty difficult to miss their 100 sexiest list as it has been over numerous websites – including the ever respectable BBC. If you take a look at the list though can you really say all the women on there are the sexiest on the planet? Sexy must definitely mean something different from when i was a lad. It now seems to mean that all you have to do is be seen on some fluffy reality TV and that’s it job done.

I should probably stop now, turn on the radio and get back to painting as there is a possibility I could be ranting all day…

Cheers

id-iom