Office zombie

We’ve all been there. Well, most of us anyway. It’s Thursday so perhaps a drink after work may be in order. One turns into another. Unfortunately, we all know the end result. 

Friday becomes a day of creatively staring at the computer and shuffling round the office in a vain attempt to avoid detection. Little to no work will be done and he’d do well to actively avoid sabotaging himself. All he can look forward to is his boss putting him out of his misery and letting him go home early but he knows that is about as likely to happen as oranges suddenly becoming sentient worldwide. Let this be a lesson to all those thinking today might be that day!!

Cheers

Id-iom

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Skin & Bones

My book ‘Skin and Bones’ is now available on Amazon! (although only currently in digital format). It has been a labour of love that has been well over 2 years in the writing and another year trying to figure out what to do with it. So, if you ever wondered whether I can string a full sentence together now’s your chance to find out!

https://read.amazon.co.uk/kp/card?asin=B078YZX5VV&preview=inline&linkCode=kpe&ref_=cm_sw_r_kb_dp_C4jxAb6807FPY

The zombie virus has already been released and chances are you’re already infected. It’s now just a matter of time. London is on the verge of a metamorphosis.

Skin and Bones is the story of a horrifying virus outbreak from two vastly different viewpoints. One is the person responsible for the horrifying global pandemic and one is an unnamed source who can do little more than respond to the primitive instinct for survival. There’s also a helpful cat named Mog and some zombie pigs…

If you buy it I’ll have a special place for you in my heart. If you like it I’ll love you even more. If it’s not down your alley but you’d like to help then please share this post and at least give me a fighting chance of hitting Hollywood.

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Skin and Bones

Sooooo, I’ve written a zombie book called Skin & Bones. I’ve yet to do anything with it other than give it to a few friends to read so thought I’d remedy that by attempting some feeble marketing for it and giving it a shameless plug here. This text would ideally be the back of the book blurb. If you’re at all interested then drop me a line. Here’s what the text says:

This morning you woke up feeling a little unwell. You have no appetite, your head is aching, your throat is sore and you think you might have a slight fever. You don’t know it yet, but the zombie virus has already been working away inside you for a week or so and has been busy attacking your immune system. It’s reached the stage where it’s really about make it’s presence known.

Exactly when and where you were infected is unclear as it can take anything between 21 and 30 days from initial infection to the first proper symptoms. What is more certain is that you are now infectious yourself and have been for a while. Your family, friends and anyone else in close contact with you are all in mortal danger.

The next couple of days will determine if you are one of the lucky few who has some natural resistance and will, at least, survive the infection stage or not. In the highly probable event that you have no resistance then, at some time between 3 and 4 weeks after infection, you can expect the whites of your eyes to turn red, your vomit and diarrhoea will now be charged with infected blood and large blood blisters develop under your skin. You are now at the peak of infectiousness as the virus particles, eager to find their next victim, replicate swiftly inside your body.

What comes next is straight out of a movie. Your brain heats up and you become more aggressive as your mental faculties begin to deteriorate. At some point you’ll become unconscious and then the next time you open your eyes you will no longer be in control of yourself. You are now constantly hungry for human flesh and have the overriding urge to bite someone. Satisfying your cravings is now all your limited intellect can cope with. Congratulations, you are now a zombie.

Calling you a zombie would probably suffice in a pinch but isn’t quite correct however and the term ‘living dead’ would probably seem a better fit. But you won’t care. The virus has made permanent changes. From the second you were infected the grave is your only and eventual way out. At least by that point you’ll have no knowledge of what you’re doing. Just following some of the baser human instincts that have been modified and enhanced. Your end is nigh. Along with just about everybody else’s…

Cheers

id-iom

Skin & Bones tiny laser cut

Eagle eyed readers might recognise this little laser cut image as a tiny version of the image we did at UPfest last year. I was just seeing how small the laser cutter will reasonably do and how difficult that would be to paint. It turns out it is particularly tricky to paint at that scale.

Anyway, the image is related to a zombie book I’ve written called Skin & Bones that features some zombie pigs and in the spirit of attempting some feeble marketing for it I’m giving it a shameless plug here. If you’re at all interested in the book here’s a little taster of what to expect. Drop me a line if you’d like to give it a read:

This morning you woke up feeling a little unwell. You have no appetite, your head is aching, your throat is sore and you think you might have a slight fever. You don’t know it yet, but the zombie virus has already been working away inside you for a week or so and has been busy attacking your immune system. It’s reached the stage where it’s really about make it’s presence known.

Exactly when and where you were infected is unclear as it can take anything between 21 and 30 days from initial infection to the first proper symptoms. What is more certain is that you are now infectious yourself and have been for a while. Your family, friends and anyone else in close contact with you are all in mortal danger.

The next couple of days will determine if you are one of the lucky few who has some natural resistance and will, at least, survive the infection stage or not. In the highly probable event that you have no resistance then, at some time between 3 and 4 weeks after infection, you can expect the whites of your eyes to turn red, your vomit and diarrhoea will now be charged with infected blood and large blood blisters develop under your skin. You are now at the peak of infectiousness as the virus particles, eager to find their next victim, replicate swiftly inside your body.

What comes next is straight out of a movie. Your brain heats up and you become more aggressive as your mental faculties begin to deteriorate. At some point you’ll become unconscious and then the next time you open your eyes you will no longer be in control of yourself. You are now constantly hungry for human flesh and have the overriding urge to bite someone. Satisfying your cravings is now all your limited intellect can cope with. Congratulations, you are now a zombie.

Calling you a zombie would probably suffice in a pinch but isn’t quite correct however and the term ‘living dead’ would probably seem a better fit. But you won’t care. The virus has made permanent changes. From the second you were infected the grave is your only and eventual way out. At least by that point you’ll have no knowledge of what you’re doing. Just following some of the baser human instincts that have been modified and enhanced. Your end is nigh. Along with just about everybody else’s…

Cheers

id-iom

 

Skin and Bones – We got a gun!

In my continuing efforts to drum up some interest in the zombie book I’ve written I’ve done another small artwork based on it. Here we can see that they’ve finally got a gun. Now, I’m not entirely sure of the real world use of a gun in most zombie situations as it surely just attracts more of them to your location – which is the last thing you want – but it’s definitely a good backup. In this instance they are taking some revenge and trying to find their friend. Don’t worry too much as they are mostly doing it from the confines of an armoured Range Rover. Here’s a little taster:

“Eventually the car finds it’s way to the cricket pitch and they drive a slow circuit around the outside of the ground. I want to jump up and signal their attention but something tells me to be wary. They pull up beside the bonfire just as one of the school kid zombies from earlier emerges onto the south edge of the field. The driver guns the engine and the Range Rover pulls forward on a collision course with the zombie. I can hear the sickening crunch of bone even from my position some distance away.”

Cheers

id-iom

Skin and Bones – id-iom @ UPfest 2016

Sooooo, I’ve written a zombie book called Skin & Bones that also features some zombie pigs. I’ve yet to do anything with it other than give it to a few friends to read so thought I’d remedy that somewhat by making it the focus of this year’s UPfest wall at our alloted location – the Steam Crane pub. There’s a copy of the book wheatpasted up for part of the background and we even included a little hoopla action for that interactive element. Not a single point was scored with the 20 odd people we played with however. I didn’t think it was going to be that tough to score a measly 10 points… 

Anyway, just in case you’re at all interested in the book here’s a little taster of the kind of thing to expect if it ever gets published:

This morning you woke up feeling a little unwell. You have no appetite, your head is aching, your throat is sore and you think you might have a slight fever. You don’t know it yet, but the zombie virus has already been working away inside you for a week or so and has been busy attacking your immune system. It’s reached the stage where it’s really about make it’s presence known.

Exactly when and where you were infected is unclear as it can take  anything between 21 and 30 days from initial infection to the first proper symptoms. What is more certain is that you are now infectious yourself and have been for a while. Your family, friends and anyone else in close contact with you are all in mortal danger.

The next couple of days will determine if you are one of the lucky few who has some natural resistance and will, at least, survive the infection stage or not. In the highly probable event that you have no resistance then, at some time between 3 and 4 weeks after infection, you can expect the whites of your eyes to turn red, your vomit and diarrhoea will now be charged with infected blood and large blood blisters develop under your skin. You are now at the peak of infectiousness as the virus particles, eager to find their next victim, replicate swiftly inside your body.

What comes next is straight out of a movie. Your brain heats up and you become more aggressive as your mental faculties begin to deteriorate. At some point you’ll become unconscious and then the next time you open your eyes you will no longer be in control of yourself. You are now constantly hungry for human flesh and have the overriding urge to bite someone. Satisfying your cravings is now all your limited intellect can cope with. Congratulations, you are now a zombie.

Calling you a zombie would probably suffice in a pinch but isn’t quite correct however and the term ‘living dead’ would probably seem a better fit. But you won’t care. The virus has made permanent changes. From the second you were infected the grave is your only and eventual way out. At least by that point you’ll have no knowledge of what you’re doing. Just following some of the baser human instincts that have been modified and enhanced. Your end is nigh. Along with just about everybody else’s…

Cheers

id-iom

Evil Nazi Zombies from Outer Space – the sequel

The last time they tried it on we had to summon our Blitz spirit, roll up our sleeves and really get to work. The only thing that saved us then was a reanimated Winston Churchill who nobly sacrificed himself in a ball of atomic flame in a bid to stop the Nazi scourge once and for all. Somehow they live on. And now they’re back – and they won’t take ‘nein’ for an answer!

I’m going to get onto the Syfy channel right now and see if they want the rights. If they did Sharknado I think I’m in with a decent chance…

Cheers

id-iom

Insert self here

Insert self here

This picture is for all those people in the world who have dreamed of killing a zombie or two, i know i certainly have. Whenever i read a zombie book the phrase ‘inset self here’ always comes to mind especially when things are going from bad to worse.

It’s A3 in size and is made using the magic of spray paint, stencils and paint pen. Signed on reverse.

Here is the ebay link

For further information about us and what we get up to you can visit our flickr (www.flickr.com/id-iom) and twitter (@thisisidiom).

Cheers

id-iom

 

For Sale: Baby shoes. Never worn.

For Sale: Baby Shoes. Never Worn.

So there I was innocently posting nonsense on Facebook when I get into a conversation with Mr George A Raggett and we come to the conclusion that an A4 art swap was in order. After further discussion it emerges that I would be very much liking something that was all nice and fluffy whilst George was requiring something as dark as could possibly be. Challenge accepted.

After giving it a little thought a quote that is attributed (but not confirmed) to Ernest Hemmingway sprang to mind. Apparently he won a bet by crafting a short story of under ten words. The story was “For Sale, Baby Shoes, Never Worn”. Now that is pretty dark (and very brief). So I thought I’d work with that and give it a little spin by making it into an actual classified ad and including a few cheeky little zombie reference in there just to add a little spice. Once I’d perfected my vintage paper effect with spraypaint it was on with getting it printed and adding in the extra blood splashes and the red circle to highlight the ad. Challenge completed.

I found out just this morning that my parcel arrived safely with George accompanied by the parcel he had sent to me just before Christmas. And there I was imagining the German Postal Service would be efficient…

Cheers

id-iom

Zombies this way (Free Art Friday)

Zombies this way...

Zombies this way...

We all know the countless problems the living dead can cause so sometimes it helps to be prepared with handy signs pointing the way to the hungry zombie hordes. This is especially useful if you’re tooled up with the latest in double barrelled shotgun technology. Just remember not to let them get too close – and never let your guard down! The blood spatters pay testament to someone who forgot that…

It may be late in the day but it’s still Friday (I checked) so this definitely still counts as Free Art Friday! We will hopefully have a couple of pieces appearing in this evening’s feature on Free Art Friday on the Culture Show (BBC 2 @ 7pm) so keep your eyes peeled.

Cheers

id-iom