Skin and Bones – id-iom @ UPfest 2016

Sooooo, I’ve written a zombie book called Skin & Bones that also features some zombie pigs. I’ve yet to do anything with it other than give it to a few friends to read so thought I’d remedy that somewhat by making it the focus of this year’s UPfest wall at our alloted location – the Steam Crane pub. There’s a copy of the book wheatpasted up for part of the background and we even included a little hoopla action for that interactive element. Not a single point was scored with the 20 odd people we played with however. I didn’t think it was going to be that tough to score a measly 10 points… 

Anyway, just in case you’re at all interested in the book here’s a little taster of the kind of thing to expect if it ever gets published:

This morning you woke up feeling a little unwell. You have no appetite, your head is aching, your throat is sore and you think you might have a slight fever. You don’t know it yet, but the zombie virus has already been working away inside you for a week or so and has been busy attacking your immune system. It’s reached the stage where it’s really about make it’s presence known.

Exactly when and where you were infected is unclear as it can take  anything between 21 and 30 days from initial infection to the first proper symptoms. What is more certain is that you are now infectious yourself and have been for a while. Your family, friends and anyone else in close contact with you are all in mortal danger.

The next couple of days will determine if you are one of the lucky few who has some natural resistance and will, at least, survive the infection stage or not. In the highly probable event that you have no resistance then, at some time between 3 and 4 weeks after infection, you can expect the whites of your eyes to turn red, your vomit and diarrhoea will now be charged with infected blood and large blood blisters develop under your skin. You are now at the peak of infectiousness as the virus particles, eager to find their next victim, replicate swiftly inside your body.

What comes next is straight out of a movie. Your brain heats up and you become more aggressive as your mental faculties begin to deteriorate. At some point you’ll become unconscious and then the next time you open your eyes you will no longer be in control of yourself. You are now constantly hungry for human flesh and have the overriding urge to bite someone. Satisfying your cravings is now all your limited intellect can cope with. Congratulations, you are now a zombie.

Calling you a zombie would probably suffice in a pinch but isn’t quite correct however and the term ‘living dead’ would probably seem a better fit. But you won’t care. The virus has made permanent changes. From the second you were infected the grave is your only and eventual way out. At least by that point you’ll have no knowledge of what you’re doing. Just following some of the baser human instincts that have been modified and enhanced. Your end is nigh. Along with just about everybody else’s…

Cheers

id-iom

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The Curse of Class 22e

The Curse of Class 22e

The Curse of Class 22e

Tony here is a substitute teacher who has the unfortunate job of teaching class 22e for the foreseeable future. As you can tell he already looks a little frazzled. This was all down to Mrs Wilson getting indefinite gardening leave due to the prolonged mental harassment she suffered whilst attempting to teach class 22e the finer points of European history. The children were usually quite creative in their disobedience but her many thick knit woollen cardigans in particular were a constant source of amusement for them. Tony has only been teaching the rapscallions of 22e for two days now. He’s not sure how much more he can take…

Cheers

id-iom

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6 Million!

6 Million!

6 Million!

Our artwork has only gone and got a combined 6 million views on Flickr – so I suppose we here at id-iom HQ can now call ourselves millionaires. With that news I’m off to buy myself a country pile. Oh wait a sec it’s just views not pounds or even pence. It looks like we’ll just have to remain starving artists who live by their wits just a wee while longer…

Cheers

id-iom

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A little old fashioned that’s all – id-iom @ WXSP 2016

She looks much like any other lady you might see swanning around town and to all intents and purposes she is. It would be difficult to distinguish her from a thousand others just like her if you didn’t happen to know her a bit better. And what would distinguish her in this modern world of tinder dating, digital photography and deliveroo would be the fact that she likes to do things the old fashioned way. That isn’t to say she isn’t aware these modern conveniences but just that she prefers the old school, hands-on style experience. And who’s to say she’s wrong…

This was for our fifth visit painting at the Whitecross Street Party and, as usual, we had a great time and the weather was lovely – as it has been every other time we’ve painted too. Which is odd when you consider how unreliable UK weather is. Anyway, it’s always good to chat to the other artists and catch up with old friends whilst attempting to make new ones. At least we managed to keep the beer consumption a bit lower than in previous years…

Also, if you like the piece enough to want to own it she’s available to buy from Curious Duke Gallery (which is at 173 Whitecross St).

Cheers

id-iom

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If you’re in a fair fight…

Here at id-iom there are a few things we love. Sunny days. Painting. And dispensing wisdom. Today we had the opportunity to combine all three and ‘If you’re in a fair fight…’ is the result. The original inspiration for this design came from the Polish fighter squadrons of WW2 who escaped to Britain to fight alongside the RAF after Poland had been invaded. Somehow that nugget of inspiration morphed into this piece. The muse works in mysterious ways. Anyway, as long as you’re digging the sage advice this dashing pilot is dishing out then all should be well. Just remember, failing to plan is planning to fail.

Cheers

id-iom

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Spacehead

Spacehead

Spacehead

What else can be said about this complete spacehead that hasn’t already been said a thousand times? Not much that’s for sure but i’ll attempt to give you some grounding. His name is Sir Asmund Quayle and he’s been variously known as a philanthropist, cheat, rapscallion, charmer, self proclaimed king of man and now cosmonaut.

The details are somewhat hazy but what we do know for sure is that he somehow managed to stowaway on a Soyuz rocket headed for the International Space Station and didn’t get found out till they were already halfway there. NASA has since released a statement saying this is probably the worst breach of intergalactic security ever. Trust Sir Asmund Quayle to prevail where others have failed.

Cheers

id-iom

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Peepers

Peepers

Peepers

Jeepers creepers! Where d’you get those peepers? After a little inaction on the painting front I thought it would be best to get my hand back in with a little easy sunny painting on a sunny afternoon. With no idea on what I was going to paint, all i had was a blank door down the mews staring at me and eventually decided a face would see me right. After about half an hour of glaring at the door I decided I’d just pick up a paintbrush and start. The devil makes work for idle hands and all that jazz. A short time later, and after using a few spraycans (which i said i wouldn’t use), I give you ‘Peepers’. What exactly it’s on about is for you to decide…

Cheers

id-iom

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