Time for tea with id-iom

Time for tea with id-iom

Time for tea with id-iom

Although one half of id-iom doesn’t drink tea it doesn’t mean we both don’t know how to make a good cuppa. Here is our guide to making the perfect cup of tea:

  1. Get necessary equipment – kettle, cup & saucer, tea bag, milk, spoon and sugar for all those who aren’t sweet enough
  2. Boil kettle till it sings
  3. Place tea bag in to cup which should already be placed on the saucer ( you don’t want to make a mess now)
  4. Pour boiling water in to the cup and over the tea bag
  5. Leave for a short while to let the tea brew
  6. Remove tea bag
  7. Add milk (and sugar if that’s what you need)
  8. Allow to cool just a little while you slip into your birthday suit
  9. Jump in and enjoy!

Cheers

id-iom

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A portrait of the artist as a young man

Since I’d done a self portrait yesterday I thought it was only fair that today I did a portrait of the other half of id-iom. I’m not entirely sure if I’ve outdone myself but I think it’s just about recognisable as him. He’s got the same screen printed background featuring the id-iom seal of approval and I’ve coloured his nose in green as he just mentioned the other day how he rarely uses the colour green in his designs (for some reason best known to himself) so I thought I’d remedy that here. Right, what’s next?

Cheers

id-iom

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The picture you never asked for

I’ve never really done a self portrait before and I’ve no idea why the muse demanded it but here it is – the picture you never asked for. Despite the fact we’ve used ourselves for models for a number of our pieces over the years (mainly because we’re always available and happy to work cheap) I’d never considered a self portrait – until now. With the screen printed id-iom seal of approval as the background I think I’ve just about captured my own likeness well enough so that maybe you can recognise it as me (if you happen to know me obviously). Anyway, it is what it is but I’m interested to know what anyone thinks…

Cheers

id-iom

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How can I tell her?

I’m not sure if i’ve ever suffered an existential crisis on the level that this man is currently having to deal with. Sure, I’ve had some strange notions from time to time but this guy’s desperation at his inability to tell his lovely lady that they aren’t really lovers and are, in fact, just stencils is somewhat heartbreaking. The swirling maelstrom of his thoughts is reflected in the somewhat random background. Just how is he going to break it to her? Life can be tough, can’t it?

These are on A3 paper and will look lovely once framed. Drop us a line if you’re interested…

Cheers

id-iom

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No. 6

Alan, or Patrolbot No. 6 to his friends, had a dark secret. He was a Metropolitan Police Patrol Unit with limited AI (for difficult on-the-spot decisions) and had been patrolling the same area of South London for a number of years. During this time he had seen a distinct rise in graffiti, street art and tagging and had been busting heads for lesser crimes as long as his memory banks could recall but at some undefined point during the last twelve months he had taken the unilateral decision to become a graffiti artist. Why? He couldn’t be entirely sure. Maybe it was a faulty circuit. Or maybe not.

He didn’t want to find out and had so resolved to keep it concealed during his 6 monthly maintenance service. One thing he was sure of (and was infinitely proud of) was that ‘Alan’ was up all over his borough. No one had more pieces up than he. He made sure of that as he knew all the local patrol times. Now his skills were improving it was time to move onto bigger and better things…

For this bad lad I was just messing around with some old stencils I found but really quite like how this one turned out. It’s on A3 paper. Let us know if you’re interested in him…

Cheers

id-iom

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London’s burning…

Here at id-iom we love nothing more than a good challenge so when we were contacted by our local fire brigade and asked to do a logo for their unofficial uniform we jumped at the chance. They take pride in being firefighters in Lambeth and wanted something that reflected that so after scratching our heads for a while we managed to come up with an initial selection of designs. After these had been shown around the interested parties a clear favourite emerged:

Design using the LFB logo. Naughty id-iom.

Design using the LFB logo. Naughty id-iom.

As our design is an unofficial item we weren’t really supposed to be using the LFB logo so instead swapped that out for the call sign for the three different stations that cover the borough of Lambeth and, hey presto, we had ourselves some approved designs.

Just yesterday we were invited down to Clapham Fire Station to pick up a couple of t-shirts they’d had printed up and to have a look around. id-iom’s collective inner child (which is never difficult to reach) was, of course, pretty excited by the idea of a personal tour of a fire station and we certainly weren’t let down. We were given a brief rundown of how the station operates, were shown the fire engine, had all our inane questions were answered and I even got to try on some breathing apparatus. Win all round.

Even the cat is down with this one. And you know how choosy cats are.

What kind of self respecting man-child would turn down the chance to wear the breathing rig?

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Check out this bad lad. It had some kind of articulated crane arm on it that can reach 30 m (I checked). Now how would that be for getting up hard to reach high places for a bit of painting?

Cheers

id-iom

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Skin and Bones – id-iom @ UPfest 2016

Sooooo, I’ve written a zombie book called Skin & Bones that also features some zombie pigs. I’ve yet to do anything with it other than give it to a few friends to read so thought I’d remedy that somewhat by making it the focus of this year’s UPfest wall at our alloted location – the Steam Crane pub. There’s a copy of the book wheatpasted up for part of the background and we even included a little hoopla action for that interactive element. Not a single point was scored with the 20 odd people we played with however. I didn’t think it was going to be that tough to score a measly 10 points… 

Anyway, just in case you’re at all interested in the book here’s a little taster of the kind of thing to expect if it ever gets published:

This morning you woke up feeling a little unwell. You have no appetite, your head is aching, your throat is sore and you think you might have a slight fever. You don’t know it yet, but the zombie virus has already been working away inside you for a week or so and has been busy attacking your immune system. It’s reached the stage where it’s really about make it’s presence known.

Exactly when and where you were infected is unclear as it can take  anything between 21 and 30 days from initial infection to the first proper symptoms. What is more certain is that you are now infectious yourself and have been for a while. Your family, friends and anyone else in close contact with you are all in mortal danger.

The next couple of days will determine if you are one of the lucky few who has some natural resistance and will, at least, survive the infection stage or not. In the highly probable event that you have no resistance then, at some time between 3 and 4 weeks after infection, you can expect the whites of your eyes to turn red, your vomit and diarrhoea will now be charged with infected blood and large blood blisters develop under your skin. You are now at the peak of infectiousness as the virus particles, eager to find their next victim, replicate swiftly inside your body.

What comes next is straight out of a movie. Your brain heats up and you become more aggressive as your mental faculties begin to deteriorate. At some point you’ll become unconscious and then the next time you open your eyes you will no longer be in control of yourself. You are now constantly hungry for human flesh and have the overriding urge to bite someone. Satisfying your cravings is now all your limited intellect can cope with. Congratulations, you are now a zombie.

Calling you a zombie would probably suffice in a pinch but isn’t quite correct however and the term ‘living dead’ would probably seem a better fit. But you won’t care. The virus has made permanent changes. From the second you were infected the grave is your only and eventual way out. At least by that point you’ll have no knowledge of what you’re doing. Just following some of the baser human instincts that have been modified and enhanced. Your end is nigh. Along with just about everybody else’s…

Cheers

id-iom

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