The other day we were doing a graffiti workshop where people were spray painting skateboard decks. To facilitate this we brought out our big bags of random stencils that we have cultivated over the years. As we were sorting them out before the workshop we came across two pieces stuck together. After a little needling, some swearing and the application of careful hands we managed to extract this thing of beauty from in between them. Two become one, as the Spice Girls famously sang.
Although it is now pretty much useless as a working stencil I think it would look good framed but then what do I know?
Sometimes life gives you lemons and all you can do is cry and hope for a better day. I think this may be that day. I had a write up of sorts in mind for this piece and then stupidly asked the other half of id-iom if he had any ideas. Now I can’t think of anything but Nick Berry and Stefan Dennis being pop stars.
He suggested looking up ‘Every Loser Wins’ which, incredulously, was no. 1 for 3 weeks in 1986. It’s an early example of cross marketing whereby it featured in Eastenders and then went to no. 1 in real life. It’s also dreadful.
This led me down the youtube rabbit hole and before you know it I’m listening to Stefan Dennis’ ‘Don’t it make you feel good’ and he’s really channeling a working man’s David Hasselhoff vibe. It’s a better song but I think I need a lie down all the same. You can make what you want of this piece but don’t go looking up ‘Every Loser Wins’ or ‘Don’t it make you feel good’. You have been warned.
She’s on A2 and made using spray paint, acrylic and paint pen
As Patricia stood staring into the abyss that was her life all she could think about was the good times when there were things to be thankful for, when there was colour in her life. Sadly those times are no more as she recently got diagnosed with complete colour blindness after watching too much Piers Morgan on Good Morning Britain. Now she sees the world in greyscale. Not just that but she also has cataracts which is making her eyesight blurry.
Nowadays Patricia just sits trying to remember the kaleidoscope of colours that once permeated her vision but to no avail. Sometimes she feels like her vision is improving and that she can see the blue in the sky but she now realises that this is just a precursor to a migraine that she will invariably have for a day or two.
Due to this Patricia is now considering a career as an art critic because she feels she’s bitter enough thanks to her incredibly poor eyesight which she feels will serve her well in this new profession. She asked if she could have a look at the picture once I was done. I won’t be doing that again…
Michael can’t really remember his mother as she left when he was young to become a trapeze artist for the travelling circus that had been visiting town. He can still remember her last words to him though which were ‘It will never be easy’ and he has taken those words and turned them in to a matra which he uses when things in his life are starting to go a little out of control. So now when things start to go wrong he calmly closes his eyes and repeats the mantra over and over again.
It’s not entirely clear how but it has apparently got him out of some pretty serious situations like when he was arrested for trying to swim the English Channel with only one flipper and a tin box full of aggressive fruit flies which just kept flying in to his eyes. Needless to say the Coast Guard was called as he had managed to cross into the shipping lanes which meant many boats were told to steer clear causing major havoc at ports throughout the EU. All in all that little escapade cost the British taxpayer something in the region of £4.7 million. And he never even got prosecuted. Made using the magic of imagination, acrylic, paint pen, watercolour, pastel and gold leaf on A4 paper.
As a casual viewer of artworks on the internet in this information age I’m pretty sure you’re going to tell me that i’ve drawn this lady with too many arms. In fact you are ‘limbprecise’, to use a portmanteau I’ve just coined although I’m sure you can gleam the meaning. Less of the semantics and more of the story though.
Marigold lived for many years in a genuine mad scientist’s laboratory – which is where the extra limbs come from. The mad scientist had always admired Dr Otto Gunther Octavius (or Doctor Octopus as he’s more commonly known) from when he was read comics as a child and always thought that a set of extra arms would make life so much easier.
So why give the arms to Marigold I hear you ask? There’s a simple answer for this. He only ever managed to grow two sets of arms, one set grew to be big and strong but the other never really grew properly and stayed a bit scrawny. This just wouldn’t do as he wanted the biggest, baddest arms of any mad scientist. Anyway after a few years the two sets were all he could come up with, so he thought he might as well use them. He’s now trying to figure out what to with all the legs he’s grown and has lying around the lab. Maybe create a wall crawling human spider? No, that would never work…
It may not be entirely clear from the picture but this piece has been blasted by a shotgun. Let me explain, before i even remembered we had access to shotguns on the Isle of Man we thought about going to an archery range to fire arrows at a bunch of targets we had bought that we were going to paint on. This led me down the path of william tell who as legend states shot an apple off the head of a child. This is why this picture has an apple on it.
Now without any practise i can’t say if i’m good enough to reproduce such feats of marksmanship but with a shotgun in hand i can certainly hit something that’s for sure.
After finding a suitable place to shoot we had a quick health and safety meeting, can’t be to careful can you.
We were then ready, with a quick look over his shoulder, the other half of id-iom harbouring a nod and a wink at me, blasted the artwork with a malevolence that one would only expect from the devil himself. In all of a too shorter time all the pieces had been shot up to kingdom come including this one.
Maybe we should still go to the archery range anyway just to see who has the best shot out of the pair of us…
This poor soul has the misfortune of being a descendant of some pretty interesting people. So many of them in fact that it he has acquired a set of superpowers, well, sort of.
First of all he is said to be descended from Coeus one of the titans of greek mythology who was the Titan of intellect, the axis of heaven around which the constellations revolved and probably of heavenly oracles to boot. Now that’s not a bad start when looking at one branch of the family tree. Later Franz Mesmer the man credited with creating hypnotism was married to one of his relatives. And nearly up to present day there is of course ‘The great Otto’ who certainly isn’t great and not even a very good hypnotist but he did, of course, have a stage presence to rival that of Beyonce.
This kind of lineage has given poor Manfred here a set of skills that only someone with his inherited genetic code could have but also a set of skills that he certainly didn’t want. He can’t even so much as glance at another person before knowing all their secret desires and dark thoughts. Which can get pretty tiresome.
It is A4 in size and made using the magic of inspiration, acrylic, watercolour and paint pen. Get in touch if you would like to give it a new home….