The main, pertinent and only real question you should be asking yourself right now is ‘is that a googly eye?’ I’ve done my research and can guarantee you it isn’t.
Just yesterday the other half of id-iom asked why I was using a googly eye as a weight to hold down a stencil. I told him I wasn’t but he didn’t believe me until I lifted up the much painted tuppence coin in question and showed him. He still didn’t believe me even after I had put the coin back down. So there you have it. People will believe what they want.
Paula and Robbie had been dating for just over 6 months now and were attending their first dinner party as a couple. Everything had been going well, the main course had just been taken away and they were awaiting dessert. That’s when it all started to go wrong. Paula managed to catch Robbie’s eye over the table and that was enough for her to know something bad was going to happen. She’d seen it happen once before – although she still wasn’t entirely sure what ‘it’ was.
It starts first with a look of wild incomprehension, followed quickly by some barking noises and then Robbie would start speaking in tongues. This could go on for some time before he’d suddenly shake his head and start speaking normally. Paula decided she’d seen enough so hurriedly excused herself from the table and went to help in the kitchen…
The lad didn’t know he was different – that was until the day he fired purple laser beams from his eyes! It all started innocently enough. He was talking with his boss over Zoom when he was jokingly reminded about a regrettable incident in the lift the previous year. He tried to wisecrack back but the jibe had already got under his skin and then before you knew it a purple light started to crackle from his eyes. The next thing he knew he had burnt a hole clear through the laptop screen and window in front of him. The acrid smell of burning plastic filled the air. He wondered what on earth he was meant to do next…
Things have been getting a little weird since lockdown. The intense boredom and general anxiety mix together in some odd combinations. In order to combat this I thought a self-portrait may be in order. I was wrong.
Looking at the paper in front of me I saw myself staring back or at least some facsimile of me – but things just weren’t quite right. The head too elongated, the nose too small but the dead, lifeless eyes I seemed to have got just right.
Then I realised it wasn’t really me but that unflinching dolt High Risk Hugo. A stain on society if ever I saw one. A man who on his good days was more like Chuck Norris on flakka trying to chat up your girlfriend but on his bad days the social equivalent of someone slipping a dead slug in your mouth and holding it shut.
I’ll not be doing another selfie anytime soon. We don’t need to let that particular cat out of the bag…
Karen had never even been anywhere near China. The closest she’d come was the china Wedgewood plate set that had been given her by her aunt and she’d disinfected the whole set just to be sure as soon as the whole Coronavirus thing had started in China. She’d been fretting for days. She’d even made her son burn his entire collection of Wu Tang Clan music and memorabilia to be on the safe side because it sounds a bit like Wuhan. Yet, when she looked in the mirror she knew something wasn’t right. Despite all her precautions, it would appear she’d come down with something after all…
It is A2 in size and made using gouache, acrylic, oil pastel, googly eyes and a touch of imagination.
You’re probably not going to believe me but Gregor here used to be a top influencer on Instagram for this stunning good looks and perfect quiff but things have begun to go downhill rather rapidly for him.
It all started innocently enough. Gregor was studiously going through his daily beauty regime and was plucking a rogue nostril hair when he caught his own eye in the mirror. Taken as he was with his own reflection he gave himself a cheeky wink and it all escalated from there. Now he only has time for his own reflection. He’s given up posting on Instagram but sits staring at himself for hours on end. He will occasionally smile or wink at himself while he whispers unintelligibly into the mirror. What will come of him I hear you ask? Well if you know anything of Greek mythology then you’ll know that the story of Narcissus doesn’t end well for the person concerned…
On A4 and made using Charcoal, pencil, paint pen and acrylic, drop us a line if interested.
I’m sure you’ve all heard the nursery rhyme about hanging around in the woods to spy on some bears having a hard-earned break from the stresses of everyday life. Well, there I was having a walk through the woods near the studio, clearing all those thoughts from my head, before starting on a new commission when to my surprise I realised I wasn’t alone.
I could hear this soft voice counting down from 100 somewhere off in the distance. My first thought that it was a bunch of children playing games but as I got nearer the voice just didn’t seem like that of a 7 year old. It was at both the same time aggressive and sweet. As I rounded a corner, there ahead of me was an incredibly large teddy bear with his paws over his eyes counting out aloud.
I quickly had a decision to make, do I make myself known to the bear or do I run off and hide and get involved with this game of hide and seek. I had to make my mind up quickly as he was just about to get into single figures. So with only a few seconds to spare I made a quick dash into the undergrowth to try and hide from this furry felt monster.
I have to admit I’m not very good at hide and seek so, of course, got found pretty much straight away and was, of course, the first person to be found.
Karen has always had a squiffy eye and doctors have told her that she can have surgery to have it corrected if she wants but she’s never wanted to have it done and never will. She likes the fact that people find it off-putting and when talking to her just don’t know which way to look. Karen also has a knack to roll her bad eye into the back of her head to really hit it home.
Through the years people have called her many names due to her affliction but one that has stuck because Karen liked it herself was ‘Ambly’. Karen also has a skill which is a direct cause of her wonky eye: she can tell if anything is squiffy even by the slightest degree with just a quick glance. Due to this many business sectors hold Karen in great demand for her unusual abilities. From the scientists at CERN to the builders of the worlds largest skyscrapers, to Tony from down Karen’s local pub who always asks her to see if he’s squiffy but Karen is always to polite to give him an answer. In all fairness everyone at the pub already knows the answer to that one…
So how do we start a write up about lady Cheltenham? Maybe its best to explain our monumental balls up that started it all.
There we were during the week looking at the weather forecast and lo and behold it forecast rain for the Saturday. This year our design consisted of quite a bit of emulsion so we thought it best to get an early start so that it wouldn’t run in the rain. So with as much preparation as we could muster we headed down on Friday to get an early start which we did with an ease that id-iom is known for.
When we got to the Frog and Fiddle is when the problems started. The wall that looked like the one we were painting hadn’t been painted white like the rest and it seemed a little wider than what we were expecting, so we asked the bar staff who pointed at another wall which we took for consent to paint. In hindsight this was probably not the best idea.
Lets move forward to Saturday lunchtime when we finally dragged ourselves out of bed after a few too many drinks the night before we set off back to the frog and fiddle to finish our piece but i think you can already guess we had painted the wrong wall. With a few expletives thrown about for our stupidity we set about trying to get the new wall finished before either the rain stopped play or the after party started.
Anyway what we have for our troubles is Lady Chelts
Thanks to Andy and Angela for once again putting on a wonderful festival. Onwards and upwards guys!!
Sunbathing has a bit of a bad rap these days. Nowadays people are more likely to use fake tan than actually sunbathe. This could probably be put down to the scientific evidence that prolonged exposure to UV rays and sunshine can cause skin cancer which absolutely no one wants at all. Tamara here however was never one to worry about such things and revels in the sun’s glorious rays.
‘Scorching’ is painted on a found table top that I came home with after wombling my way back from the pub late one night. Given the weight of it I’m still not sure how I managed it back home with it all by myself but somehow I clearly did. After painting the portrait I felt it needed a little more so after a quick ferret around in the miscellaneous art supplies box I came up with a chisel of sorts and some lighter fluid. A little hard work and some flambe action and the burned lettering was done. Then it was onto the question of how to stick some real sand to it…
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