Category Archives: art

Bluebeard

that fluorescent light was tricky to photograph under. This was our best shot…
shot through our Nag’s Head stencil
id-iom Bluebeard & Aspire bird
shot through our Nags Head wallpaper stencil

We’ve come across Azrael Goldbeard a few times now but this is the first time we’ve run across his identical twin Mikhail Bluebeard. Whilst Goldbeard is a time-travelling warrior poet Bluebeard has chosen to tread a completely different path as he became a time-travelling poet warrior. The difference may appear trivial but the difference in ideologies has led to more than a few family arguments over the years. For now Bluebeard lives in 2019 North London but he’s already thinking of moving back to 2070’s New York. Those US cats are off the leash right there…

Completed in record time at Nag’s Head market in Holloway on Sunday evening. As hard as we tried to get a decent shot of Bluebeard the fluorescent light directly above was having none of it. And this is what we’re left with…

Cheers

id-iom

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The Lady of the Lift

We haven’t really painted enough walls this year so when Irony got in touch to ask if we’d like to throw some paint around at Nags Head Market in Holloway we replied with all the gusto you can gather from two middle aged men, blew off the cobwebs and said yes. 

We were apparently meant to have between 4pm and 10pm to try and get two pieces completed but that was wishful thinking. Instead we had about 2 1/2hrs painting time due to the cleaner who kept gently reminding us that he was leaving soon and that we should leave as well. Nothing like a deadline to get an artist moving.

One of the pieces we managed to complete was ‘The Lady of the Lift’. She guards the lift entrance just like a bouncer and will only let you pass if she believes your intentions are good. Otherwise she just opens the door when the lift isn’t there and woe betide the fool who isn’t quick enough to realise…

Cheers

id-iom

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Nag’s Head

Hmmmmm. Indecision, indecision, indecision. Perhaps you can help…
We were asked if we’d like to head up to Nag’s Head Market in Holloway with a view to potentially chucking a bit of paint around. After having a look around and taking some measurements it was then time to try and decide what to do. Our first stop was to design a wallpaper stencil which can be liberally applied wherever we find a spot to tie the whole space together a bit. What we’re left with is this wallpaper design featuring a horse’s head (see what I’ve done there) and a little Love N7 logo in the centre.

My problems arise from the fact that I can’t decide what colour works best. Just about all of the walls are painted a dark green colour and I’ve turned myself around that many times trying to decide which colour works best that I’m now hopelessly confused. Perhaps someone else’s opinion may be of use before I go ordering a paint colour that just doesn’t pop nicely…

Cheers

id-iom

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With no obvious cause

Kimberly had no idea how it had all started. For the past couple of months dark clouds had been hanging over Kimberly. But these were cute little sentient rain clouds that followed her around looking stormy but adorable all day. They defied any rational explanation and at least their darling little raindrops didn’t actually get you wet nor did the lightning actually cause any more than an endearing miniature light show. 

She’d gone through the initial phases of shock/disbelief, denial and finally acceptance but she didn’t really know what to do next in life. She’d had to quit work at the library because the thunderstorms were becoming such an appealing attraction that no reading was actually being done. There’d been job offers; weathergirl, presenter on Japanese TV and some pretty odd porn proposals but so far she’d turned them all down. Then her alarm went off and Kimberly was brought crashing back to reality at 07.15am in a grim and grey London on a Wednesday morning in early November. As the details of the dream slipped from her mind she briefly wondered ‘What the hell was that all about?’…

Love

id-iom

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Vlad the inhaler

There’s not much to say about Vlad the Impaler’s great nephew apart from the fact that he is a major disappointment to the whole family. Everyone expected him to take over where his uncle left off but in this new world full of modern marvels he seems more interested in playing Fortnite than the casual impaling of thousands.

Another reason why he doesn’t want to get into the old family business is due to the case of chronic asthma which he‘s had since childhood. If he ever finds himself outside he pretty much needs a respirator pumping albuterol straight down his gullet.

If recent news stories are to be believed though he might be causing untold suffering just by going outside and breathing due to the fact that inhalers have an incredibly high carbon footprint.

So as to not be a continuing disappointment to his family he has used his vast bitcoin wealth to buy up all the companies who supply the more environmentally friendly dry powder inhalers so he can run them into the ground. His great uncle would perhaps be proud after all. And he can stop that spinning in his grave malarky…

Cheers

id-iom

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Fool’s Errand

A fool’s errand is a task or activity that has no hope of success. A fool is a person who acts unwisely or imprudently; a silly person or a jester or clown, especially one retained in a royal or noble household.

Isot Maddrell wasn’t entirely sure if it was just her or if everybody got treated like this. She was fresh out of school and had only had a few small jobs but it seemed to happen every time. 

When she was working part time at the pizzeria her boss would send her to the fridge to look for things that didn’t exist, like the dough repair kit, then burst out laughing when she’d come back empty handed. When her dad managed to wangle her a junior role in a very well known Michelin starred restaurant the head chef there delighted in asking her to fetch the souffle pump. In all fairness Isot was a hard worker and was really just trying to be helpful but her bosses always left her feeling like she was the butt of the joke.

That was until the day she decided that working for other people was just another form of indentured servitude. She is now a famous international artist known for her many idiosnycratic works such as Glass Hammer (2011), Can of Steam (2012), Dough repair kit (2012), tin of tartan paint (2013), sound powered phone batteries (2016) and Brick bender (2015). ‘Who’s the fool now?’ Isot chuckles to herself as she spends yet another weekend in San Tropez…

Love

id-iom

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Glen Fandango – The Wild One

Doesn’t everyone enjoy design book covers for their fictional book featuring none other than hard drinking human/goat hybrid biker Glen Fandango? Here’s the only excerpt I’ve actually written from ‘The Wild One’:

In the silence that blossomed you could have heard a pin drop. No one knew quite what to say. It wasn’t so much that they couldn’t comprehend the words more that they were agog at the person who was presenting them. Glen Fandango stood a shade over 7ft tall (including his horns) and was dressed in the leathers of a now defunct biker gang. He glanced round the puzzled faces and repeated his question ‘Can I get a beer please?’ The lady behind the bar was the first to gather her wits and she pivoted towards the beer tap with a glass in her hand without either taking her eyes off him or saying a word.

As he waited for the beer he casually surveyed the other people in the bar before adding ‘I’m also looking for a bit of information. Does anybody here know an Alice Gerhardt?’ With that pronouncement the temperature in the room dropped a further few degrees as it would seem he had struck a nerve. Perfect, that was just what he wanted. Glen smiled. Not that you’d know it though as his goat face was largely inscrutable to the average person. It would seem that he was in the right place after all.

Glen had not had an easy life but it’s not all been his fault. Ever since his ‘father’ rescued him from a government lab in North Korea and escaped across the border to the south with the infant in his arms people have been pointing and whispering. A small measure of fame followed his arrival in Seoul and within a few years they had been invited to the USA to start a new life.

As a young kid, whilst his father continued his work in genetics for the US Department of Defense, he was relentlessly teased until his tormentors learned the hard way that the horns on his head weren’t just for decoration. This, in turn, led to an early involvement with the police. It’s one of the few relationships he’s managed to successfully maintain over the years. By the time his father died he was an angry young man with a chip on his shoulder and the face of a goat.  The next decade was an epic spiral of booze, bikes and bad decisions. It was only after hitting rock bottom that he managed to come to terms with himself and emerge, not entirely unscathed, on the other side. Nowadays he’s (more or less) working on the side of the angels and if you can find him and convince him your case is worthy he is, without doubt, the best manhunter on the planet…

And that’s what I’ve got. Along with my carefully designed biker patch for his now defunct biker gang and his likeness sprayed on the side of an abandoned van. You can make the rest up yourself… 

Cheers

id-iom

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