Brian had been in the garden drinking his morning cup of tea admiring the plants and animals like something from a Disney movie. Whilst sauntering around the garden transfixed by the flora and fauna in front of him Brian hadn’t realised that the greater weed hawk must have landed on his shoulder without him realising.
He didn’t know how long the cheeba hawk had been roosting there but obviously long enough for the inevitable to happen. Brian managed a quick glance at the ashtray in front of him, full to the brim. He was sure that it was empty when he first came out this morning and was wondering how it was now full when what had actually happened came clear to him before the white mist surrounded him. With his mental acuity crumbling he needed to find a spot on the sofa to weather the storm.
This was when he first realised the sinister cawing of cheeba hawk rattling around his otherwise empty head. Twenty minutes later and the white fog seemed to evaporate leaving Brian cold and hungry on his sofa. ‘I’ll be all white’ he said to himself before getting up and putting on the kettle.
It is A4 in size and made using the magic of imagination, oil paints, acrylic and paint pen.
Ever felt the need to paint an ugly man-child who’s looking at you like you just spilt his pint? I can’t imagine you have so I’ve gone and done it for you. Kev here is angry pretty much all the time at just about everything imaginable – from the cost of a pint to how people cross the road. If you see him whilst out and about it’s much easier to give a cheery wave and carry on your business for if you’re unlucky enough to engage him in conversation you’ll understand why the cheery wave is the preferred scenario.
His anger for so many things simultaneously is both impressive and depressing in its magnitude. The main thing is to extricate yourself from the conversation as swiftly as possible before his ire manages to get under your skin. If you find yourself agreeing with him then the best thing is just to drop to the floor and play dead then hope he’ll get bored. You have been warned…
I think I might go and have a cup of tea and reminisce about all the walls at the old studio that I didn’t manage to paint.
Keen followers of id-iom will know that we like to put a little write up with our pieces. Today is no exception but it appears we’ve run into a small snag. Neither of us can seemingly come up with anything suitable for today’s decidedly lovely painting. She’s a wistful looking lady gazing off stage left. That much is for sure.
It’s usually quite obvious (to us at least) what the blurb will be. But not today. It’s veered from being related to the boredom of lockdown to living in a crashed space station to shouting at your own private parts. I wish I was making it up. Now, in the fruitless search for a write up, I’ve had to go all existential and write about my inability to come up with something to write about. Meta. Take from it all what you will…
If you’d like to give her a home drop us a line etc. It is A2 on high quality Bockingford paper and made using Acrylic, paint pen, watercolour pencil and spray paint.
Karen had been feeling more unsure of herself ever since the prophesied day of reckoning, as predicted by QAnon, had failed to materialise. She fervently believed in the power of deposed president Donald J Trump to battle against the ‘elite satanic paedophile rings’ that she just knew must be operating covertly somewhere out there. The internet had told her so.
The funny thing was Karen was English, lived in Kent and had no bonds to America whatsoever. She did live alone with an indeterminate number of cats however. None of this was clearly any barrier to her becoming a believer though. Now, when she thinks about just about anything her thought process becomes hazy and she quickly becomes angry. Pretty much like her picture really.
Every day’s a learning day. Or so they say. I can definitely confirm this for the days I was using a palette knife to create this image. It started out as something else but ended up as Karen here. As is life.
Callie was old. Very old. Although she didn’t look it and woe betide anyone who didn’t appreciate her fair skin and face. She was also a sea witch which, if you consult your big book of mythology, are powerful and capricious beings. Offending a sea witch by such means as refusing to pay her for her services, insulting her looks, or refusing to acknowledge her powers could end in disaster as she might choose to destroy an entire ship if she so wishes.
On the other hand though they can help people out just because they feel like it too. I guess that’s the nature of being capricious. Just a few weeks ago she’d been fooling around in the Irish Sea when she came across a lone jet-skier getting knocked about in the frigid and choppy water on a roundabout course for the Isle of Man. One quick divination later and she knew he was to become the Jet-Ski Romeo. It had never been in her nature to defy the course of true love so she decided to assist his crossing. And that’s the only reason he made it. Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
On A4 made using acrylic, oil pastel and paint pen. Drop us a line if you’re interested in giving her a new home
With lockdown 3.0 thrust upon us all by the powers that be Timothy is starting to feel strange. He thought all this would be over by now, that the world would be back to normal, that he could leave the oppressive flat he has been in for what seems like forever. That is not the case though sadly, instead, Timothy has had to occupy himself for close to a year and things are now starting to get weird.
He’s tuned one of his eyes to pick up QAnon conspiracies using the 5g microchip that Bill gates implanted using the covid radiating pigeons.The other he uses to watch reruns of short-lived musical police drama ‘Cop Rock’ on repeat. Between both eyes he feels like he has reached peak cognitive dissonance. This has led Timothy into a state of what he likes to call ‘vacant obscurity’. He’ll likely be this way until March…
It is A4 and made using acrylic, oil pastel and paint pen. Drop us a line if you need him to adorn some uninspiring wall…
We are all in the middle of a global pandemic, Tier 3 has just been activated in London, Christmas is looming ever closer and the weather is simply shocking. Don’t let that bring you down though, instead, why not simply engage in some extreme procrastination and write today off and maybe even the rest of December. Perhaps January and February too just for good measure..
Do you dig being dilatory? Would you generally prefer to be back in bed? Do you think things sound classier in Latin? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions then we have just the product for you! id-iom’s new range of demotivational artworks are ideal to give you that extra little nudge you need to justify to yourself whatever decision you’re about to make. It’s that simple! Anyone can use them!
She’s on A2 paper and the Latin text ‘Maybe cras amici mei’ (which translates as ‘Maybe tomorrow my friend’) will make your friends think you’re both educated and sophisticated. Voila! She is made using the magic of spraypaint, stencils, glitter, acrylic and imagination. If you’d like to give her a new home then get in touch. I completely understand if you can’t be bothered today though…
Dave (or ‘Panther’ to his friends) had never been accused of making good decisions. In fact his chequered past was littered with questionable decisions. But none quite so foolish as today’s rash move.
He’d decided to buy a jet ski and go and see his girlfriend, which, on the face of it, sounds pretty romantic. Love will find a way and all that. He lived in Scotland however whilst his heart’s desire lived on the Isle of Man. If you throw in the fact that the Irish Sea in winter time is not the most charitable place to be combined with the fact it’s 40km from Scotland and the fact that he’d never ridden a jet ski before you can begin to see the poor decisions branching off into infinity. Oh, and I forgot to say it’s the middle of a pandemic and the Isle of Man is sealed off, covid free and lusting to throw lawbreakers in prison – so Dave’s decision is looking poorer by the second.
Somehow he made it despite the journey taking almost 4 hours longer than he predicted and, assumably, him almost freezing to death. You’d think perhaps lying low at his girlfriend’s might be a good idea but no, it’s out clubbing for Dave and his betrothed. Perhaps predictably this was his face on being told he faced a prison sentence after the long arm of the law reached out for him the following day…
It is A3 in size and made using the magic of acrylic, pastel, paint pen and imagination. Drop us a line if you need Dave in your life…
Despite the cold, it was a beautiful day. Gunnar had decided to take a walk to clear his head and thought that the lake on the other side of the clearing might be nice. Whilst walking he became distracted by his thoughts and by the time he realised he was striding out over the frozen lake he heard an ominous cracking noise from beneath his feet. And then he just froze and looked around with a somewhat desperate look in his eyes…
What happens to Gunnar? Is he swallowed by the icy lake or is it really all part of a complicated insurance fraud? I fear we’ll never know but I’ve been watching a few too many bleak Scandi TV shows as of late to know that it can’t have been anything good.
In another departure from our usual fayre but sticking with our new found love of stripes we’ve got ‘And then I just froze’ which is a surprising turn of events for id-iom in that it is somehow both minimalist and has a complementary palette. I’m sure stranger things have happened at sea but there it is. She’s available for sale if anyone cares to give her a home for £120 (plus P&P) and is on a 60 x 60cm square canvas.
When people think of ‘voguing’ most automatically think of the Madonna song ‘Vogue’. It’s not a bad reference but it all really started in Harlem. Michael had never been to Harlem however he had always wanted to visit – mainly due to it being the birthplace of his favourite dance. The main reason that he has never been is that It is quite hard to find the time when you run a large farm in rural Shropshire. He usually spends his days looking after the animals and fixing things that should have been replaced many moons ago.
This doesn’t mean that Michael never vogues however. Whilst tramping round the farm with his oversized headphones pumping out some beats he can vogue away to his heart’s content. Duckwalk to spins & dips followed by an energetic floor performance. The livestock don’t seem to mind. All so he can get himself ready for when Saturday comes…
It is A3 in size and made using ink, pastel and acrylic.